"Jeongwoo-ya." Hanseol knocked on the open door to Jaehyeon's and my room and stepped in, waving a few envelopes in one hand. "Fan mail. Manager-nim left these for you."
"Oh. Thank you." I got up from my bed and went over to him to accept them. I was going through what True were saying on Twitter. It seemed as though they were pretty taken by our recent live. Some of them were even planning our future schedules as they would like it to be. It was fun to just read it all.
Something else that had received a lot of attention after release was the Hidden Camera footage. Embarrassingly enough, they were all tripping over the way I treated Yeojun and Jaehyeon. They found it incredibly cute. They were also going on about how Jaehyeon had gotten jealous of the way that I was holding onto Yeojun and concluded that he had done what he had done just so that I would release Yeojun. Many others were just asking Jaehyeon to buy me chicken.
Now, that, I could agree with.
"Where's Hyung?" Hanseol looked around the room.
"He said that he wanted to buy pain-relief patches." I replied.
"His back again?" Hanseol asked, concerned.
"He said that it was nothing to worry about. He just wants to stock up." I looked at the letters. Manager Park often gave us some letters that were addressed to us personally after checking them to ensure that they were safe. "Do you have Hyung's too?"
Hanseol nodded and gave me the ones that he had in his other hand. "Give these to him?"
"I will." I accepted them. "Where are the others?"
"Mingyu's sleeping. Yeojun went downstairs to the gym." Hanseol answered. "You should get some sleep." He rubbed a palm against my cheekbone. "You look tired."
"Ah. I'll sleep after reading these." I smiled. The time was only about 06:30 pm. Thanks to our schedule though, I had come to be programmed such that if I slept early, I'd wake up early. That beat the purpose of early sleep anyway. I could go to sleep around 08:00 pm though. We had a photoshoot for a magazine at 06:00 am and the location was pretty far away so we needed to be awake at least by 03:00 am to get ready and leave. Manager-nim had managed to schedule everything to be done early today so we had all gotten home early for a change. "What about you?"
"Ah, I…" He looked towards his room. "I'm working on something."
"'Something' as in… a song?" I asked, surprised.
"Mhm." He nodded. "Being on stage gave me inspiration, I guess." He shrugged. "I don't know how it will turn out but… Let's see. I may even think of releasing it as a mixtape if it comes out like I want it to."
"Oh! That's so nice!" He was working on a mixtape? It had been a while! "Let me know if there's anything I can help with." I offered up.
"Mm. I'll get going now then." He said and went back to his single room after giving me a grateful pat on the shoulder. Dorm arrangements were such that Mingyu and Yeojun shared a room and Jaehyeon and I shared another. Hanseol had gotten a single room. We had decided this based on a game of Rock-Paper-Scissor. None of us had minded each other and hence couldn't choose. So, we had let fate decide for us.
I left Jaehyeon's letters on his desk and jumped back onto my bed with my set of letters. Leaving the rest of it by my side, I picked up a random one to read.
"Oh. Fan mail?" Jaehyeon asked as he walked in carrying a packet in his hands a few minutes later. I was already done reading four sweetly worded letters.
"Mm." I nodded, not taking my eyes off the letter. "Yours are on your table."
"Thanks." He went over to the shared wardrobe and put away the few things that he had bought from the medical store in the common compartment. He then picked up his letters and went to sit on his bed. "It's kinda sad that we don't get to read all of them."
"Our entire day would go in trying to do that." I reasoned.
He hummed a response and then, silence fell over us for a while, only the occasional sound of turning pages filling the room. A little later, he laughed. "True sure are fast!"
"Huh?" I looked at him.
"This one." He motioned to the letter. "She has said that I should buy you chicken."
"What? I just read that on Twitter too!" I laughed. "They're really going on about it, huh?"
"Looks like it." He sighed.
"Hyung, you really should just buy me chicken then. At least, just to show True that we are aware of what they are saying. We could do a joint Live then."
"Ooh. They would love that!" He whistled.
I ignored that and got back to reading my letters.
It was the seventh one I opened that gave me pause.
'Jeongwoo-ya.'
Fans were usually careful about how they addressed us. It was almost always 'Choi Jeongwoo-ssi' or 'Jeongwoo-ssi' or 'Jeongwoo Oppa'. 'Jeongwoo-ya' was a first. And the more that I looked at it, the more I became sure of it. I knew this handwriting. It was a little sloppy and yet small enough to not allow the sloppiness to stand out.
I sat up and stared at it, skimming over it quickly without actually reading it. Then, I became certain of it. "Yoo Changmin."
"Huh?" Jaehyeon looked at me this time.
I showed him the letter with the scribbled flowers and hearts in it too, unimpressed. "Yoo Changmin."
"Changmin Sunbae? Minsu of 04:00 am?" He burst out laughing. "You got fan mail from Yoo Changmin?"
"We pass by each other almost every week in the office and yet-" I paused and looked at it again. "He's just- Unbelievable."
"What has he signed off as?" Jaehyeon set his letter down and sat forward.
I scanned the letter and found it at the very bottom. "Someone who thinks blue hair suits you." I groaned. "What is wrong with this man?"
"It is true that you see each other often but you don't really get to talk much, especially now that we have also gotten busy with interview requests and live shows."
That one live had really done the job for us. "Yes but… Uh. I'm pretty sure that he just handed it over to Manager-nim and asked him to give it to me."
"Either way, it got to you. Read it aloud." He waited keenly. "Ah. But then again, it may even be a prank."
"What? Why should I read it aloud?"
"It's fine~ Read it aloud." He gestured with one hand and continued to wait.
"Don't want to." I lay back down and turned towards him so that he would not be able to read it over my shoulder.
"Spoil sport." He commented and picked up his letters again.
Well, it wasn't like I had anything to hide. It was just a little embarrassing. Nevertheless, I cleared my throat and began reading aloud. "Jeongwoo-ya." Paper rustled. He had put his letter down again and turned to listen to me. So, I continued reading. "Have you been eating and sleeping well? I just hope that you have enough time to at least read this. This may just be the only way that we can talk though. Maybe I should come to your next fan-meet."
"Imagine that! 04:00 am's Minsu showing up for S.T.A.Y's fan meeting! That would be epic!" Jaehyeon said, sounding as though he quite liked the idea.
I simply continued reading. "I watched your recent live performance. You really seemed to shine onstage. I couldn't take my eyes off you."
Ugh.
"Oh?" Jaehyeon raised an eyebrow.
Moving on. "You have gotten better at dancing. All your hard work is starting to show. The progress you have made and continue to make gives me strength too. I'm sure it's the same for other True as well."
"He has tried his best to make it sound like a girl completely taken by you." Jaehyeon shrugged. "He should probably have started off with 'Oppa' then."
"When did he even have the time to write this stuff?" Really. Why would he do this?
"Never mind that. Read the rest." Jaehyeon urged me.
"Can't I just stop here?" It was embarrassing.
"No. He's taken so much effort to write you a letter. Just read."
Why were you so eager though?
"This man…" I turned my attention back to the letter. There wasn't much left anyway. "I… I really liked the song that you wrote- 'Where We Are'. I listen to it quite often actually. The lyrics just seem very much like you. The first time I heard it, I thought 'Ah. This is written by Choi Jeongwoo.' I was moved by it. Blue Ink has been sensational. You keep climbing up the Top 100 list too. And it will only get better here on out. You and S.T.A.Y will fly even higher. And even then," I paused. He really had put some effort into this. And he had evidently been listening to 'Where We Are'. "And even then, I'll be right here on this side of the sky upon which you gaze in wonder. And I hope you'll make me your strength as much as I have made you mine."
Jaehyeon started singing that verse of the song immediately.
When I was writing the lyrics for 'Where We Are', I was thinking about True. I had hoped that S.T.A.Y's music- our music- could help them push through their daily lives just like their love and support had helped us through our tough times. We still had a long way to go but where we were standing just then was a lot better than where we were a couple of years ago. We had struggled too. We were currently at a place from where we could look back only because we had True.
To think that those sentiments might be directed at me…
"Jeongwoo-ya," Jaehyeon called once he was done singing. "What are you going to do about this? Write a reply?"
"No." I said firmly. I was not going to write a letter to Changmin just because he wrote one to me. What were we- thirteen and in need of a pen pal? "I'm pretty sure that he knows better than to expect a reply too."
"I am telling this right now. Even if, 20 years in the future, I write you a letter, I will be expecting a reply." He said seriously.
"What's with that?" I chuckled and shook my head.
"And? Is that it? The letter."
"Ah. No. Uh… Where did I stop? Ah." I continued reading. "I am a huge fan of your music. Of course, I love S.T.A.Y as a whole but I just felt the need to express appreciation for the beautiful human being that you are. I really love you." I paused. "Someone who thinks blue hair suits you." I lowered the letter and looked at Jaehyeon who was watching me with great interest. "That wasn't so badly written."
"It was very moving." He sniffed for added effect. "But how are you so sure that this is from Sunbae?"
"I can almost hear his voice when I'm reading it, for one. And two, we have spent a lot of time trying to make songs together as trainees. I could recognise this ridiculous handwriting anywhere." I sat up and fumbled around for my phone on the bed till I found it. I opened up the camera app, held the letter up next to my face and ensured that I looked unimpressed when I clicked the picture. Then, I sent it to Changmin. "I have no words left for this man."
"You both were really close back then." He nodded thoughtfully. "Honestly, even I was fully convinced back then that you would debut with him. It was a huge surprise to everyone when you didn't. How did… How had you felt about it back then?"
"Of course, I was disappointed. Borderline heartbroken. I had wanted to stand on the same stage as Hyung too but… that's all in the past now. It doesn't matter. I have S.T.A.Y now. I'm happy here."
"It's just difficult to think of you as a member of 04:00 am and of someone else sharing this room with me." He shuddered. "I'm happy you're here."
My phone vibrated. I checked it. As I had expected, it was a message from Changmin. 'Oh? Fan mail? Looks interesting. You should seem happier to be reading it though.'
The nerves of this guy… "Excuse me." I told Jaehyeon and texted back. 'I know that it's from you. Nice try.' "He actually has the guts to pretend-"
"It's Changmin Sunbae we're talking about here." Jaehyeon laughed. Before he could say anything further, my phone rang. The caller ID made me stare pointedly at it.
"Hyung."
"Changmin Sunbae?" Jaehyeon asked.
"That… idiot…"
"Talk." Jaehyeon said and went back to reading his own letters.
I sighed and answered the phone but I did not say anything.
"Jeongwoo, you there?"
… "No."
There was a chuckle on the other end. "Ah. How long has it been since we spoke on the phone like this?"
"Very long." I sighed. "Care to explain?"
"What? The letter?" He asked. "There's nothing to explain, is there? It's all written very clearly in it."
But… "Why would you even do that, Hyung?" I furrowed my brows. When I realised that it actually took a letter like that from him to get us on the phone, I felt bad. I remembered that the last time I texted him was on his birthday when he was away in Malaysia and I was here in South Korea. We did pass by each other often but… Had we really been reduced to all that? "Never mind. Don't answer that."
"Okay." I could hear the smile in his voice.
"Where are you right now?"
"Ah. We have a commercial shooting. Baekjae's doing most of it and his part is going on right now. We'll get called on as soon as he's done. I have a few minutes to talk. Manager Park had told me that you guys were done for the day. Are you at your dorm?"
"Uh, as I had thought… You really did just hand the letter over to Manager-nim."
"I had to ensure that it got to you."
"Sly." Thank you. "Yes, I am at the dorm." What do I say now? "Are you… getting enough rest, Hyung?"
"Hm. Let's see… Are you?"
Of course, not. "It's just that… I hope you're doing well."
"Let's make it this way- If you're doing well, then I'm doing well too."
What was with that really? "Hyung, did you really mean everything written in the letter?"
"I still remember how lost you were in your initial days as a trainee before you began pairing up with me. You were this cute Hoobae of mine whom I felt needed the support." He muffled a laugh. "After 04:00 am debuted and later, when S.T.A.Y also happened to you, every time that I see you onscreen, I can't help but feel proud. You have found your way. You're doing just fine without me." He sighed dramatically. "My Jeongwoo-ya's all grown up."
"Well, my Hyung-ah left me behind and went ahead so early that I had no choice but to grow up." I smiled to myself.
"Ah. Now you're making me feel bad."
"But it turned out well in the end. S.T.A.Y and I still have a long way to go but… We'll catch up to you before you even realise it, Hyung."
"I'll look forward to that then. Oh. But I was also thinking… Why not-" He stopped speaking abruptly. Just as I was about to ask him what happened, he spoke again. "Sorry. I have to go now. I'll talk to you later."
"Ah. O-Okay. Work hard." That was quick!
"Mm. I'll see you… some time."
"Yeah."
He hung up. I stared at my phone for a bit after that. It seemed as though he had suddenly gotten all sentimental. As though we were both going on with life as usual and then, suddenly, by the time he had stopped to look back, we had reached where we currently were.
Ah… Now I was feeling sentimental…
"What's with that face, Jeongwoo?" Jaehyeon asked, looking up from the letter that he was reading.
I slumped my shoulders. "Hyung, when was the last time you talked to your family for more than 5 minutes?"
"I see. The letter hit you hard, huh?" He nodded understandingly. "We were aware of what we were signing up for. You knew that this would happen, Jeongwoo."
"Yes, but…" That was also why I had wanted to be in the same group as Changmin. "Un… That Hyung… He had to go pull this on me now."
"It's okay." Jaehyeon got up and came to sit on the bed beside me. "You'll be able to see him at the agency anyway. You can be more careful about maintaining things now."
"Mm." I leaned against his arm and picked up the next letter to read. He had always been a reliable comforter. "Hyung."
"Yes?"
"Thanks." I began reading the next letter.
Jaehyeon said nothing, just smiled and continued reading his letter.
We had begun practicing some of our older routines. With our rising popularity, we had been able to earn some lives on T.V and stages to ourselves. We needed more than one song to perform. It was when we began such practice that it really hit us how popular we were actually getting."My sister just sent this to me." Mingyu laughed and showed us his phone. On it was the photo of a bus with Hanseol's picture on the side. "Hanseol Hyung's got a bus.""That's… a very big picture… of just me." Hanseol narrowed his eyes at it. "Why is it only me?""You have fans. This is obviously sponsored by K-Soul fans." Jaehyeon said."They could have at least used a better picture…" He grumbled."Oh, come on. You look just fine here." Yeojun asserted.Hanseol grumbled inaudibly again and then stood straight. "Well, as long as it helps us.""He's secretly happy." Jaehyeon smirked."Yes, he is." I agreed."Shut it." Hanseol looked away.We were taking a small break in between practice. Manager Park had n
We had found a private corner table for ourselves. This restaurant regularly got trainees and Idols from DayBreak dropping by and so were used to our need for privacy and was good at ensuring it. It wasn't that noisy either. It was the perfect place to do a Live."Is it recording yet?" Jaehyeon asked and looked into the mobile I had placed precariously in front of us to film. He had his round-framed glasses on as well. He tended not to wear it much but the lighting in the place was a little weak and so, he had to use it."Not yet." I told him. "You good?""Yeah. I'm ready." He threw an arm over the back of my chair and sat back."Are we early?""It's been 10 minutes since we placed the order. They should be bringing us the food soon. We should start now if we have enough people online.""Okay, then. I'll start now." I began our live video and sat back. "There we go. We're on.""Oh. That's a good number." Jaehyeon smiled on seeing the number of people online. It had jumped to around 25
"Jeongwoo? Choi Jeongwoo?" The man who had previously asked us to wait in the room came to find me. We were at a major media house. We had been asked to come in for a photoshoot for one of their popular entertainment magazines. We had already finished our group photoshoot and they had begun the individual shoot with our leader Mingyu while the rest of us were asked to wait in the adjacent room after getting our outfits and make-up fixed. They had said that they would call us in one by one."Yes. Coming." I turned to Jaehyeon and handed my phone over to him. "Hold on to this for me, won't you?""Sure. Go." He took it from me.I followed the man into the studio. Yeojun had just finished. As I entered, he was leaving. "Good work.""Hyung, best luck." He patted my shoulder.They were waiting for me.I gave them my best smile and bowed. "I am Choi Jeongwoo. I look forward to working with you!""As are we." The man wearing black-framed rectangular glasses with his jacket thrown over his sho
"Ah. I feel like I was whipped around in a tornado and dropped to the ground just now." Jaehyeon let out an exhausted breath as he plopped onto his bed in the hotel room that we were sharing.I was already lying on my bed, arms outstretched, staring hard at the ceiling. Physically, I could feel the fatigue but mentally, I was wide awake. "Hyung, did you see how full the venue was?" Like recalling images from a dream, I could still see it- the dancing lights, the sea full of faces before us shouting for us, the unfamiliar stage, the noise, the adrenaline rush.Our first international live…"I saw it." He looked at me seriously. "We were sold-out, Jeongwoo."Our first international live and we were already sold-out. "'To You' is 17 on the Top 100 list. 'Yeongweonhi Norae' is 24th. 'Kkeum Eh Seo' and 'Where We Are' have also made it onto the list." I stated the facts we had been informed of immediately after day one of our concert. "Is this what a good break feels like? Ah. I can't feel
"Hyung!" Yeojun clung to my arm. "I feel so blessed!""Blessed?" I chuckled. We had just gotten into our agency's black van after coming out of the airport."Yes, blessed." He nodded. "We can't expect our families to be at the airport to welcome us but we had so many True show up today!""I had considered the possibility when we were on the plane but to have actually been received like that…" I agreed. "A blessing, huh?""You could have lowered your hoodie, Jeongwoo. They were screaming for it. It wouldn't have hurt." Hanseol said."I… could have but…""Jeongwoo was too overwhelmed by it all to even react." Jaehyeon laughed. "Am I right?"Did being roommates allow him the ability to peek into my head? "Not really…" I looked away. "The hair's just too bright so early in the morning.""Was I the only one who saw that short-haired girl in a home-made 'To You' outfit with similar blue hair holding up a board with 'Jeongwoo Oppa' on it?" Mingyu enquired."I noticed that too." She was the f
It was rare to find myself alone at the dorm. Given that we were five of us and that we weren't the kind who had much going on individually, someone or the other was always around when I was.I checked the time in between playing the soccer game on my phone. It was about 07:24 pm.I was starting to get hungry.Yeojun and Mingyu were the only other ones who had been home initially. Jaehyeon and Hanseol had gone for a guest appearance on a game show. From what I knew, they would be late in returning. Mingyu had gone to meet his sister who had suddenly called and said that she was in the area and Yeojun had run down to the convenience store after losing at Rock-Paper-Scissor against me to buy something instant to cook for dinner since neither of us was really in the mood for cooking anything extensive. Manager Park had gone with Jaehyeon and Hanseol and so it was Manager Kim who had dropped us home by around 06:40 pm.I sighed and got comfortable on the couch in the living area again. I
Surely enough, the video of the incident at the convenience store turned up on the internet the next morning. What was infuriating was how it had been cut and edited to show only the parts where Yeojun was being a little aggressive, like when he shoved the man. Moreover, the guy's face had been conveniently censored out. By the time DayBreak could do anything about it, it had done the rounds on Twitter and other SNS platforms. It was really difficult for DayBreak to contain it and they couldn't quite pin the account from which it was first shared.'S.T.A.Y Jun's real personality?''Kim Yeojun- not so sweet anymore.''Yeojun vs. Jun.''The Evil Maknae.'"This is too much!" Jaehyeon huffed as he dropped heavily into the nearby chair. We were in one of the meeting rooms in DayBreak's building. "That video is hardly anything to go by!""No one knows what happened." I frowned and leaned against the big table in the middle of the room. "We should just release a statement clarifying what had
Thailand got confirmed.2 weeks after the scary run-in that Yeojun had had, things had died down quite a bit. Comments were still doing their rounds online but I had also consciously stopped following up on what everyone was saying on Twitter and other such platforms. I read what I needed to and then backed away.However, there was one thing that popped up in between that made even me pause and falter in my resolve to stay unaffected.'S.T.A.Y's popularity seems to have more to do with 04:00 am than S.T.A.Y themselves.'That was more of a personal attack for me though, given my history with 04:00 am and its members- or rather, member. Ever since debut, we were seen as 04:00 am's Hoobaes. We were always their little brothers, especially after they became so popular.Even though the extent to which our friendship goes has not quite been made public, people knew that we were closer than other groups within DayBreak itself. That made them pitch us together often.To say that S.T.A.Y becam