" Akiandra Salvatore are you listening to me?" Theresa says on the other line.
" Yes I am." I tell her.
I can't believe he actually invited me to eat with him tonight, that has only ever happened once before I knew he wanted to divorce me.
A lump forms in my throat at the word divorce. Gosh I'm an emotional wreck these days, what's wrong with me?
" You're not listening are you?" Theresa's voice breaks me out of my thoughts.
" I'm sorry Theresa, what were you saying?" I ask, now paying attention.
" Are you seriously moving back there?" She asks me.
" No, I'm just staying here for a few days until he's absolutely better."
" And by better you mean until he goes back to yelling and ignoring you, as if you aren't his wife." My chest clenches at her words.
" Theresa I just want him to feel better and right after, I'll be gone. " I try say.
" Akiandra you can't keep rushing over to him whenever anything concerns him, I'm not speaking against your marriage but you need to remember that soon it won't be and you need to start living a life without him in it, before he really isn't."
I take in her words and hear her point, she's right. I should start living a solo life so that when the divorce is finalised, it won't be as hard to move on.
" Akiandra?"
" I um- you're right. I just don't know how to move on when I'm still in this and my heart holds hope. Two years and a part of me is still waiting, I might try moving on but the heart is the hardest in doing so." I sigh, leaning my back against the wall, fingers playing with the telephone cord.
" I might not be married but I know. I was once in love and I learned the hard truth of moving on, while the heart stands firm in it's belief. I totally understand. I just don't want things to hurt more then they should when it's over." She trails off.
" I know." I close my eyes for a second, the pain in my chest not ceasing.
There's a pregnant silence before she speaks up again." Would you like me to bring some things over? " She asks, thankfully changing the subject.
" Um just please pack a few things for me, I'll send Joe with the key and he'll bring them back for me."
" Kea - "
" I just don't want things to take a bad turn if Keith finds out that more people know about us. He trusts me enough with this and I'm trusting you." I end off, not wanting to get into this.
" Okay. Just don't let him close enough to hurt you, come back immediately if he so much as cause a tear out of you. You hear?" She warns but I know this comes from a good place.
" Okay and please say hi to the guys for me, I know that they might be mad at me for ditching on them and rushing back."
" Oh they'll get over it. Well I should go now." She tells me and that's where we end off with our goodbyes.
*****
I take a breath before lightly knocking , waiting for him to answer.
"Come in," he says.
Entering his room , my eyes immediately find him, where he's not on his laptop, thankfully, but rather has a book in hand, my book.
" This is really nice." He says, coughing slightly, his eyes not moving from the book.
" Really? " I give him a strange look, wondering if the fever has affected his head or something.
" Yes, now stop looking at me like that. " He says, closing the book and placing it on the nightstand , right next to his untouched food I notice.
" Why haven't you eaten?" I ask, already walking over to place the tray on his lap.
" I was waiting for you." I swear I die and come back to life in a matter of seconds.
He said what now?
He did not just say what I think he said.
" Akiandra, are you okay?" I nod slowly before shaking my head slightly.
" Uh I should probably heat this up for you. I'll be back." I don't even wait for him to say anything, but leave with his food as my mind replays his words.
Waiting for me.
That's what jumps in my head, whilst waiting for the microwave.
Those three magical words, it should have been me saying those words not him. I'm usually the one waiting for him, waiting for him to come home, waiting for him to notice me, waiting for him to tell me that he lo - no, I won't go that far. The point is, I'm shocked yet my chest warms at his actions. Him waiting for me like how I'd done so many times, when he returned home late.
It's weird but nice. No, it's absolutely weird, something is up with him. I think the rain knocked some sense into him, that I'm here.
" Gosh I'm hopeless." I chuckle to myself, rising to my feet and moving around to fix everything up for the both of us. Soon I find myself returning to his room where he's busy on the phone.
" I'm fine, it's just a little cold." He says, coughing in between.
Standing near him where I place his food beside him on the nightstand, I catch a female's voice on the other line.
" Yeah I know." He says, leaning his head back, eyes closed for a second.
" I love you." The spoon drops, clinking against his plate, his head snaps in my direction while my heart drops to my feet.
" Sorry." I murmur, placing everything right before walking over to sit at my original spot, staring at the food, my stomach churns and twists.
I'm not so hungry anymore. I've pretty much lost my appetite. My eyes burn with threatening tears but I hold them back. I'm not going to cry.
It's her, she's invaded our space yet again. She seems to find a way to ruin things, I know I shouldn't speak bad about another person but I can't help how I feel, she's slowly taking everything from me. No, she already has, that's why he's divorcing me, leaving me. I love him with all of my being, yet he can't see it. Why can't he see it?
" Akiandra." I slowly look up at him. All I do is look at him, his handsome face and his pretty blue eyes, his mouth keeps on moving yet I can't hear a thing because only one question rings in mind.
Why can't he love me?
" Akiandra!"
" What?" I feel like I'm in a daze, nothing about him and I being in this room feels right.
I feel like a foreigner in his room, an outsider, an intruder in someone else's territory. Her territory.
He said he loved her, words I longed to hear yet never received, but she did. He loves her.
Her territory.
" Akiandra what is wrong with you?!" His voice rises, snapping me out of my thoughts.
" What's wrong with me is that I'm not hungry, I'm tired and I want to sleep." I tell him, rising to my feet, food in hand with intention of walking out.
" Where are you going?" He asks.
" I'm going to sleep, goodnight." I tell him as I walk past him.
I stop just at the door, glancing over my shoulder at him, where he's already looking at me." Oh and another thing, this is the last time you get to yell or shout at me. I'm not a robot, I'm human. Have a blessed night." I offer a small smile before walking out of there without another glance.
I've been avoiding him today, I remained locked in my room, I mean room. It's no more mine anymore. I couldn't face him after last night.I might have left him with parting words but a part of me feels bad, it isn't by choice that his heart chose someone else. I love him, I do but I can't force him to see me in a certain way or reciprocate my love, it wouldn't be fair to the both of us, because at the end of the day he'd be kept away from his true love and I'd be left heartbroken.A bigger part of me feels relieved that I voiced out something. I don't like when he shouts or yells at me, it hurts my feelings and makes me feel small. It hurts more when the person you love does something like that to you.I couldn't control my mouth and sure had to release something, it might have been a mistake but right now, I'll stand by what I said."Sweet girl, I was about to come up there and force feed you. Don't sc
" Akiandra. Kea come on, wake up. " I hear someone say from a distance as I'm shaken awake, but I don't want to." Kea, goddammit wake up!" Keith? Since when does he wake me up?" Kea?!" Again I'm shaken awake and this time I hear shuffling." Why's she not waking up?" Is that Maria sobbing, why's she crying?" Kea please." No this is all wrong, Keith wouldn't say please.The shaking continues , totally irritating me." S-stop," I murmur . Wanting the person to stop." Wait, Kea talk to me." Keith says close." S-stop, I want to sleep. " I try push the person away, only to push on air.Soon I hear a chuckle and a sigh." Oh thank God." Maria breathes out of relief, I detect." She's fine -she's okay." Keith says beside me and I feel hands touch my face, moving hair away from my face. Th
We stare at each other. That's what we've been doing as minutes passed by." Akiandra what is this?" He steps into the room, closing the door behind him." Just as you can see, I'm giving you, your life back. "I watch his head drop down, hands on his hips. He bites at his lips and nods his head before looking up at me again." We are still married.""Not for long" I quickly say, cutting him off." Is this about yesterday because I - " He stops short of his words.He can't do it." You don't have to strain yourself or force yourself even, to say it. You can't apologise, it's not you, it's not in you to do so and you know what? - I've made peace with that." I take a breath before turning away from him and taking my bag in hand." I've made peace with a lot of things, handled a lot of things and still I stood. But last night was a different
" Come on, you have to do it sometime today." I say, palm against my cheek." Urgh I can't." He throws his hand up in defeat, slumping against his chair and glaring at the piece of vanilla cake in front of him.I bet he wasn't exaggerating when he said, it makes him uncomfortable and takes him back to that time." You know you'll never conquer your fears if you don't try," I say." It's just staring at me." He shudders." You know what, I've got this." He suddenly perks up, taking the small plate in hand.I sit up straight, hoping that he's about to take at least a bite, only for him to change direction and throw the cake away." What are you doing?" I ask in disbelief." I couldn't do it, it had to go." He says, sighing in relief."O.kay, would you like chocolate cake then?" I pull out the piece of gooey chocolate cake out of the fridge, p
Right after Keith had left, I found my body moving on it's own. I was busting some serious moves and squealing with joy, a permanent smile remaining on my face till I laid in bed.How long I'd awaited an apology. The day had filled with a new norm for myself, only for things to take a turn when he just rocked up on my doorstep.What had caused a change of heart or even changed the way he viewed things. Such questions stay locked at the back of my head, not wanting anything to mess up the wonderful moment I feel.In the two years of my marriage , such an act of him on his knees, pleading for forgiveness and asking for my friendship has never happened.The moment those words left his lips, I swear my heart stopped. Giddy, that's how I feel, to have a much closer look at his life, being led into his thoughts, dreams and all. I don't even know what could be more worth it, then getting to k
I wait patiently for Keith to show up. We'd made plans to go watch a movie tonight and I must say , I'm looking forward to it.We'd texted back and forth in the afternoon, and he'd suggested that we go out for a movie tonight. Now here I am, still waiting for him. I know that he's a bit late and I have no doubt he might be tied up at work. I just hope he'll be able to make it because if hedoesn't, no doubt I'll be a little disappointed but I'll still understand. He is a busy man.A knock on the door has me jumping up and rushing to the door. My smile wavers a bit when Keith is not the one on my doorstep but it's Theresa." Theresa hey." I fix myself and a genuine smile makes it's way onto my face, though a bit disappointed but still happy to see my friend." I saw that, you were expecting someone else weren't you?" Right to the point.How does she do tha
I can't believe I'm doing this. Well I can't believe this is happening, I'm travelling with Keith.When he asked me to accompany him, I wasn't really thinking straight, I was still stunned about what happened with London. Everything after he left and I agreed to go with Keith, became a blur. Now I'm sitting beside Keith, who's busy on his laptop. Probably with work.We're going to the airport right now and I'm nervously excited to go to Aspen. I've never been to Aspen. To add to this excitement, I'm going with Keith. I know he might be busy with work and all but when he's not busy, I'll just have to drag him around and create a little fun for the both of us. You know, creating memories.My mom would be squealing with joy at watching me travel to places. She'd always known that I had a heart for travelling, experiencing new things, learning and storing memories of a life time.I watch curiously as we pas
I'm jolted awake by a noise coming from the door. I don't have time to react when the door is opened and I hear someone enter the room.Good thing my back is facing the person.The bed dips and I hold my breath." Kea, I know you're awake." Joe.I sigh out in relief, glancing over my shoulder at him." Why are you here Joe?" "Joey, I'm here as Joey. Your friend, remember?" I sigh again, rolling over onto my back, turning my head to him. "What's wrong? " " I ruined everything." "And by everything you mean?" "My friendship with Keith, I snapped and basically hinted in me being in love with him. Gosh I feel stupid, feel embarrassed." I groan out, now thinking about earlier."Well it was bound to happen." "What do you mean?" "You've been holding onto