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Chapter thirty nine

CAMILA SILVA

Surprisingly, understanding my feelings for Ethan made me better. It allowed some things to finally make sense.

Now I understand why butterflies fly through my stomach every time he smiles. I know why a little bump between our skins sets my body on fire. I understand why deep inside I keep seeing it the same way, my body keeps responding similarly to the past, begging for the same to happen again.

I still love him. With all the strength of my being, I love him in a way that I can't even explain its intensity and magnitude. In a way that hurts, that hurts much more than I would like to admit. It hurts because I love him and I know that I will never be free to declare, or even live this love.

I can say that I understood my body, I understood more of myself when I understood how I feel about him. But I haven't accepted it, I doubt that I will ever be able to accept it. Although they are wonderful sensations, after all, being in love is magical, I don't accept feeling them f
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