All Chapters of Wrong Way Up: Chapter 1 - Chapter 10
67 Chapters
Warning
If you are looking for a romantic love story, this is not it. Although there is love in my story, a perfect love at one time. There is also a lot of pain, heart ache, and sadness. This is not a fairy tale, there is no white knight. This is a story about betrayl, anger, bitterness, forgiveness, and change. This is my story of how my life fell apart.I want to warn you that there are acts of violence in this story that may trigger some readers. This story contains acts of domestic abuse, and memories of sexual assault. This is not an easy story to read, and I caution all who do read it that there may be moments that will haunt you, I know because they haunt me to this day. Another warning this story contains tales of addiction, again something that may be a trigger to some readers.My final warning to you is that this story includes mental health issues. Although this may not be considered a trigger, I want to make su
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Stumbling in the Dark
I married in my early twenties, thinking that I was doing the responsible thing by settling down and having children. Donavon and I were both soldiers trying to escape the small, but different hometowns we came from. Although the first few years of our marriage we struggled with money, I can truly say that it was a happy time for both of us. We ended up having three children and, in my mind, we would grow old together and look after our grandchildren.We may not have had the white picket fence, but we had each other. Donavon and I both loved being parents. We took family trips to the zoo, and to the park. We read stories to our children, had family game nights, and regularly attended school functions. Donavon taught our kids how to shoot using paint ball guns. Even video games were done as a family.I left the military first after my contract ended. I started pursuing nursing and supported Donavon as he continued in
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Like a Phoenix
Donavon came to the house the next day. Although the encounter was awkward, we were both surprisingly calm. Donavon packed up as much of his things that he could safely fit into the saddle bags of his motorcycle and made rough plans to be back sometime later in the week for the rest of his things. We did not argue, or fight because of the children. He tried to apologize to me again, but I turned and walked away from him. I did not want to listen to his excuses, the lies, but most importantly I did not want him to sway me from my decision. The visit was brief, and I was left feeling numb. Perhaps I was in shock, but I felt numb.I thought I would cry as he fired up his Harley. I was watching the man that I had married, went to war with, had children with, and gave up my dreams for ride off as if he did not have a care in the world. Maybe the tears would come later, but for now I was grateful that I was numb.Kendra,
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Learning to Walk Again
The next two weeks went by rapidly. Kendra and I moved in together. Both of us sharing the room that Donavon and I had shared. We took turns with one of us sleeping on the couch, the other in the bed. The children had adapted to the situation surprisingly well. They accepted Kendra living with us and were enjoying having someone there that would help cook and look after their needs.Donavon and I had spoken a few times since he moved out, but the situation between us was intense. Half of the time I wanted to try to make things work, the other half I just wanted to yell and scream at him for tearing me apart. Our conversations were brief, and to the point. I explained to him that I still wanted him to be a part of the children’s lives. He was after all their dad. He said that he wanted that too. I made the offer that anytime he wanted to come visit with the children I would be more than happy to leave the house or take them to a park.
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Fun Time Friday
By the time Friday rolled around, I had completely forgotten that Kendra had asked me to go out with her. When I got home from work that day, she was already in the kitchen making dinner for the kids. She yelled at me to get in the shower and told me that she had already picked out clothes for me. I felt my anxiety shoot through the roof. I could not feasibly go out today and tomorrow. This was too much for me.“Kendra I am not feeling all that good. I do not think that I should go out tonight. You go out without me. I am just going to make some tea and watch some movies.” I was hoping that I looked a little pale, and even threw in a small cough to try to make it more believable.“Come here Noel.” Kendra raised her palm to my head, feeling to see if I had a temperature. “You do not have a fever; you will feel better after you get in a shower. I have already made dinner for the kids, and
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Round and Round We Go
It had been almost three weeks since I had gone out with Kendra. Even though that Friday had not been fun, I still kept the date on Saturday with the guy that I had met using the app. I did not think that it was a bad date. We went and had dinner, laughed, and got to know each other. Then I never heard from him again. Kendra told me this was called ghosting.Since then I had been on a few more dates, some were alright, and others were downright atrocious. I was just coming home from one of the atrocious dates. Kendra was on the front porch when I walked up.“Hey so how was your night?” She asked me, taking a drag of her cigarette.“Well considering I left here less than an hour ago, I would say it did not go great at all.” I tell her fully exasperated by the experience.“Tell me what happened.” Kendra pats the step beside her, and
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Don't Judge a Book
I was really nervous and had started pacing in my living room waiting for his reply. My phone pinged in my hand, and for a moment I thought about blocking him and just going to bed. No, I was not going to be a coward, I was going to go have sex with a random guy. I take a deep breath and open his email. He gave me directions to a place that was about five minutes away. He included his phone number and told me to call when I got there, and he signed this email Jayce.“Kendra, I um I am going to go out.” I call out to her.“What are you talking about it is almost eleven, where are you going?” She immediately asks me back.“Well you know that guy that placed the ad, I am going to go have sex with him.” I cannot even believe that I just said those words out loud. Kendra is laughing at me.“Hell, yes girl, it is about time that yo
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To Be or Not To Be
“Mom I need you to sign this form, we are taking a field trip.” My eldest son was holding a paper out for me to sign, as I am in the kitchen stirring noodles for dinner.“Alright just set it on the table, I will sign it after I finish up dinner. What are the other kids doing?” I ask Levi.“Savannah is reading a book, and Jacob is currently playing a game upstairs.” Levi said with a sigh.“What is wrong kiddo? You seem down.” I ask him out of curiosity.“I am not down, just bored. Shawn is at a birthday party, and Kenny is at his dads house.” Shawn and Kenny are Levi’s best friends and they can usually be found hanging out together during the day. My son goes quiet for a moment before he gets a little nervous. “Mom, um are we going to have to go to Dad’s house, like Kenny does?”
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A New Routine
Life was falling into a new routine, and I can not say that I was all too happy with the way things were going. Kendra was working but was still not helping much with the bills. She was going out a lot more too, and although I did not feel like I had a say in her personal life it was quickly impacting my life. Instead of helping to pay the rent, or the electric bill, she was more worried about her party life. She was coming home drunk, stumbling over furniture and being very noisy. Often times her racket would wake either me or the kids. When her children would visit on weekends, I would find myself cleaning up after them, and ensuring that they ate. Kendra was spiraling out of control, and I was not sure what to do about it.I tried to talk to Kendra about the bill situation, informing her that she needed to start paying to live there or she needed to go back to Kelly’s house. Kendra would make promises that she would get some of the
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Shattered Beyond Repair
I have finished getting dressed for work right as Donavon makes it to the house to watch over the kids. He does not knock, walking in as if he still lives there.“Why did you need me here if Kendra is here?” He asks me barley keeping the anger from boiling over in his words.“She is drunk, and I do not trust her to keep an eye on the kids if there is an emergency while she is like this. I put her to bed as soon as she stumbled in the door. I am not asking you to do much Donavon, just stay here and sleep and handle the kids if anything should pop up.” I am already exhausted talking to him. Just seeing him releases a tornado of emotion inside me. It is like there are two parts of my body and brain that react to him. On one hand I can see the boy that I married, he has not changed much in the looks department and I have always found him handsome. On the other hand, looking at him churns my stoma
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