Mathematically put; 2blahdity - 6bluffity + 5whoopsie - 8oopsdaisy + Nerdiness.The Variable Life of Sam: where N(Nerdiness) is a constant.Has it crossed your mind to wonder how the first-all-Nigerian-schools excursion would be?Wonder no more as Sam takes us "out on dinner" with his "out of this world" narrative, weaving up his "breathtaking" adventures, with students from different schools. Hilarious moments, invented imaginations, teenage crush, life as a nerd, "The Battle of Wits: War Against Bullies"...Join this adventurous train on the railway of humour as Sam, the locomotive driver of the train takes us yonder.....View More
Sam: We are at the altitude of 100 feets above mean sea level. Prepare for touch down. All seat belts should be tightened.Osmosis: (looks up from the novel, "The Variable Life of Sam" that he's reading and stares blankly at Sam, clears throat, says nothing as he goes back to the book)Sam: Flight 201. Requesting permission for landing. Over.Osmosis: (glares at him, switches on the transistor radio) All alighting at Daviferous Humour Station. We have reached our destination. Remember to take along, your bags and luggage. Thank you for journeying with us.Sam: (alights and stretches himself) Finally, a touch of the open sky. Lemme go have meself, a well deserved meal.Osmosis: (raises an eyebrow) Where do you think you are going to?
A Short Note on the Meaning of "Benefit Boyz""Benefit Boyz" is a trending phrase on social media (as of 2020) in Nigeria. It is used to refer to S.S.3 students who got rich(bought cars and the rest) during the lockdown period and thus, when they resumed school to write their WAEC exams, they became "lords". But well, the reality of this, is largely unconfirmed. Enjoy.???????????????Temi: Mic's on. Hello, guys. Welcome to...Sam: (looks up from the video game that he's playing)Temi, It ain't a video. (more to himself) I wonder how this book would have turned out if I had included your POVs in the main chapters.Temi: I heard that!(waits for him to resume the game. Shakes his arms violently as soon as he doe
Oprah Winfrey once said, "'Great Expectations', a book written by Charles Dickens in all its beauty and my ignorance of the contents therein, forgot the sweet, sensational and great expectation of going home".It was the great day I had waited on from the first week of this tourist programme, the day to finally go home.The departure day was just like arrival. Students were excited and everywhere was busing with activities.A brief "Vote of Thanks" programme was conducted before we were allowed to go. Also, presentation of prizes to their winners.By prizes, they also acknowledged those who pioneered different clubs that night, meaning that Everly got awarded for the pioneering a club and winning the event game."Certificate of Participation" was presented to all those that played in the Hunger Games event.Schools started leaving once the programme was over as they were t
There has been one common theme in the theatrical history from time immemorial; "The Antagonist's Speech".Dr. Thanos Doomsday (Bs.C, Ph.D, Mc.U, Dc.U, An.T) in his famous monologue said and I quote;"What is a villain without his villainous tales?Or an antagonist without his antithesis?For to see a villain is to see a poetBefore his last act of mischief to serve in a trayHis evil masterminded plans to relayTo the awe of the captured protagonistAs he bemoans his clouded perception by the evil mistHave you ever heard of "good mastermind" before?For long have we been margi..."Unfortunately, he was shot three times in the head with a "Stormbreaker M14" by an U.N.N agent(not to be mistaken for a tertiary institution in Nigeria, click 70765 times for disambiguation), Agent Stark before he could finish his monologue. Our condolences go to the family especially his now widowed wife, Mrs. Hela.Coming to us, we blame the antagonists for their foolishness as they waste precious time th
Newton's third law of motion states that "when one body exerts a force on a second body, the second body simultaneously exerts a force equal in magnitude and opposite in direction on the first body".Here in this case, I was the second body. She was the body that exerted the force. Well, as the law states, I exerted a force equal in magnitude which sent her landing to the ground in the opposite direction. Talk about practical science.On a reflex reaction to the announcement, I cocked my gun and had it facing her as she was still on the ground.She squinted her eyes as she lay still with hands raised shielding her face (we had helmets on though) in anticipation of the pellet that would hit her.My heart melted instantly. I couldn't bring myself to shoot her. My years of PUBG failed me there. To further complicate things, I recognised her to be the pretty leader of the psychology club from that night.<
Did they save the best for last?, well, they did. As much as I would love to barge into the story, I won't, without our daily dose of creative start--talk of young habits growing grey hairs.Churchill Winston once said, "Life is like a suya. Sweet to the eyes. Sweet on the tongue. It is so sweet that you continue reading this quote without realising that I don't know what in the heavens, a suya is!".Let's go one more, shall we?There are two things that are the heart desires of every Goodnovel reader.The first one is most important, while the second would be considered the less.The first one is the ability to go through chapters without those annoying video ads playing up.You weren't expecting that, were you? But since when did most humans start getting their priorities right?Just kidding, the second is the most important--well, depends on who you ask though, I don't think those that have watched every single "Cinderella Story" movies would agree with me on that.You know what?, w
For today's daily dose of creative start, we will be looking at: "The Writer as a Basketball Player".Without doubt, our daily dose of Creative Start was "inspired" by the great African literary giant, Chinua Achebe's work: "The Novelist as a Teacher".There comes a time in the life of a writer that, that basket-like waste-bin is filled with crumpled papers, each page screaming "writer's block!" as they nosedive their way into the waste-bin--let's all ensure that their life be recycled for...a better nosedive tomorrow, this time screaming "9-years-old-4.5-ft-tall, brown-eyes-coloured-boy's phlegm".I didn't promise to make any sense, did I?. I only said it was "inspired"... Well, we cannot deny the fact that there is a "sense" in "non-SENSE", with that, we will quadratically simplify to bring out the "sense" in the "nonsense"I, as a writer was at that point. Well, though pages weren't screaming their way into the waste-bin, a blank space had been staring at me dejectedly as I type and
There are as many philosophies in life as there are jellof rice in a Nigerian wedding party. Two of these philosophies have always intrigued me. One being the "Philosophies of Reviews". E. Thade once said, "Reviews are like the mirror that reflects our true self. A man that cannot do his reviews cannot fend for his family".Don't think too much about it, it isn't as "awesome" as you think. Just meet that weirdo guy in that Wattpad book club of yours that is hammering on doing your reviews like...like that carpenter that lives on Drury Lane.The second being the "Philosophy of Creative Start". Speaking on that, Euphrates said, "A dive into the actual contents of a work without beating around the bush, not considering whether the bush is a different one from that to be hunted on, is like taking a bath more than once in a year".You should have pretty much figured out by now that I was just churning out a bunch of nonsense. And yup, that was my own creative start--you can argue that with
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