Sid's Zombie Survival Guide

Sid's Zombie Survival Guide

By:  Simon 1982  Updated just now
Language: English
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The Apocalypse is upon us and a group are trying to survive in Yorkshire England in a brutal new world. One man likes his simple single life but circumstances have made him rethink that life. Sid was born and bred in this town and so help him he will die here. No zombies are going to chase him away and if that means a shorter life than he could have then so be it. His old friends and family are dead as far as he knows so the only thing for it is to make new ones whenever possible. That's harder said than done when most of the population wants to kill you and that doesn't exclude the animals. Maybe he will find a way to survive and help the population recover? Maybe he won't?

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44 chapters
20th July
I'm a self-employed builder and drug dealer. my name is sid. I went out last night and I have the mother of all hangovers. my mouth is like Gandhi's flip flop.  Today is Sunday and have a day of nothing planned the perks of being single I suppose. Know one to think about and no one to tell me what to do. I slowly and carefully swing my legs out of the bed gently putting my feet down.  one hit the carpet and the other hit what I will describe as cold and slimy with a crunch to it. I look down to see that I have literally put my foot in it. when I say it I don't mean shit but a kebab from last night. there was Donna meat poking up between my toes, and chilli sauce up the side of my foot. with a sigh I put my head in my hands, this is too much for a man in my condition. I lift my head and look for something to clean up with and see that this is not my bedroom. I turn and see the outline of something under the duvet. "fuck." I whisper. think who
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July 21st
I woke up feeling OK a bit hungry and thirsty, but OK. I went downstairs and put the kettle and TV on. The news again so I change the channel news again after flicking through eight channels. I decided that it must be on every channel. Start to watch it while eating my cereal. Doctors are calling the epidemic more flu. It is spreading out of control and hospitals can not take in any more patients, in most parts of the country. The advice at the moment is to call one one one if you need medical advice. The reporter on the news was in London outside the doors to a hospital. It looks like a war zone. I see people start to fight to get in the entrance. A security guard tried to break it up and got knocked out. The symptoms so far have been sour throat coughing aching all over then nose bleeding. After twenty-four hours. Apparently, the nose bleed is the last symptom before death. There have been no reports of survivors after the nose bleeds. Words
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22nd July
When I opened my eyes I was utterly confused. I tried to sit up but my arms were like jelly. A hand landed on my shoulder. It was Earl. "stay laid down for a few minutes." My mouth was dry and my head had a heart beat like a base. So I let myself stay down. Earl passed me a glass of water and some pills. "take thease your going to feel like shit for a bit." "what happened." "I'm not sure you went into the shop and I was keeping an eye out outside. When I heard a load of noise. So I came in and saw you out cold and the other guy had a till sticking out of his head. So I picked you up on my shoulder and brought you back here.""thanks I can't remember everything properly." "it will come back to you." He lit a cig and put it in my mouth. It was dark outside. My house looked clean as well. "I have a couple of questions what time is it, and what happened to my house." "it's o
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23rd July
We got up early that morning around nine and sat down to breakfast. This time the food wasn't made by Earl's mum. It was cereal and coffee. We had everything packed up but we seemed to have a lot to carry down to the car."is there a rubbish shoot near." I asked."yeah just like a door away why?""we are going to send your stuff down. I'm fucked if I'm doing three trips up and down that lift. It is too risky.""would you send your stuff into a skip full of rotten food.""OK look we will double bag then.""I don't know.""you can use my washing machine if it gets on your clothes OK.""OK ok."So we agreed I was starting to get the feeling Earl is a clean freak. I'll work on that. I smile to myself I think this is going to be fun.We got all the bags down the shoot in about fifteen minutes. We started walking back to the lift the same noises came from the doors. We got to the lift. While we were waiting I noticed th
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24th July
I woke up like a man coming up from a deep dive with no oxygen. What had woken me up. Then my answer came loud knocking on the door. "SID OPEN UP PLEASE FOR GOD'S SAKE PLEASE" I got to my feet the knocking constant and impatient. I unlocked the door. A man pushed past me knocking my back. It was Earl he sat on my sofa breathing heavy. "it's OK man I'm hear." I put a hand on his shoulder and he started to wail tear streamed down his face. "put your head between your legs and breath slow in through your nose and out of your mouth. In and out. In and out." he did as he was told I got him a drink of water. He sat back and drank like he hadn't drunk for a week. He threw his arms around me. I rubbed his back like you would a child that had skinned a knee. " your OK now buddy. "" don't let me do anything so stupid again please promise me. Slap me if anything so stupid comes out of my mouth again."
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25th July
We got up around nine and ate breakfast a bacon sandwich with ketchup for me brown sauce for Earl. "We have a new companion as well as more supplies." "what do you mean we have a new companion. The supplies I can understand straight away. But companion what." "come with me. You need to meet her." "ooh her what's her name." "Jessie" "sounds cute." "she is very." I knew I was getting him excited for the wrong reason. But it was too easy. We went out to the kennels. "what's she doing in there." Then the penny dropped. "she is a dog." I couldn't help myself I started laughing. His face was a picture. "sorry mate it was too easy. JESSIE COME ON GIRL." Jessie came bouncing out of her shelter and up to the gates of the kennel. Earl stepped back away from the metal gate. Jessie was jumping around in circles barking happily. "SID how do we know that she is safe." "seriously look at
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26th July
Know one was feeling great this morning. We all held our heads at the table. Gaz got up and went to a cupboard in the kitchen. I watched to see what he was doing. He got a box of pain killers out.  "I don't think any of us should do that."  "Why" A rough one-word answer it annoyed me but I swallowed it down. We were in his house after all.  "Do you have an unlimited supply?"  "No." Again with the one-word answer. At least this time he sounded like he was thinking.  "So do you know how long it will take before life gets back to normal?" "No, you don't have to go on about it. I get it we might run out if we don't start rationing." He put the box of pills back. How do we get rid of this hand over then? I got up and poured a jug of water and put four glasses on the table. Everyone was looking at me expectedly.  " Let's have a bacon butty and make a plan." Lucy was the first to speak. 
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27th July
It was five in the morning and the sun was coming up. It was still dark but getting lighter. I was absolutely knackered. A few hours sleep would not go a miss but I needed to keep going. I went to my supply of speed I had hidden it away alongside my other drugs. I didn't tell anyone I had them. Looking around to make sure no one was watching I took a small amount to keep me going. I made myself a cup of coffee and sat down outside and had a fag. I was shocked to see a zombie walking through a field about one hundred metres away. I was concerned about seeing one so far away from any other houses. I saw an axe at the end of the house next to a pile of wood. I picked it up and walked to a metal gate that led into the field. The zombie didn't appear to have noticed me at this point. So I got the axe and banged on the gate softly. It stopped moving I was shocked at how sensitive its hearing was. I tapped again no louder than the first time. It looked to be sniffing the air. So tapped aga
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28th July
I was woken by the sound of the others down in the kitchen. My ears were still ringing from the shotgun the other day. I went downstairs after getting washed and brushed my teeth."Morning everybody.""Morning." everyone spoke in unison."Has anyone had any more thoughts on what they think we should do.""Sit down Sid. We have been talking already. Lucy has said that she is worried about the water we are fed from a natural spring at the moment.""Ok, that's a good point Red. What does everyone else think.""Well, I have suggested that Lucy gets on the Internet before it all goes down to find ways of distilling water and storing electricity. Gaz is worried about the fuel for all the vehicles.""OK has anyone had ideas about that.""Gaz has suggested that he and Earl go round the filling stations and fill containers.""And what about you Red.""Me personally I think that they are all great ideas but who am I to say.
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29th July
The day before had taught us all a lesson about being quiet. We saw how much they are attracted to sound. We all wanted to say thank you to Itchy Coo."So what do you know about Itchy Coo then Sid"gaz had a massive cheesy smile on his face. Like he thought I was going to tell them something good."I don't know him I've met him a few times when I was younger. I used to go up on the moors to pick mushrooms to sell. I never dabble in hallosenagenics. Whereas Itchy eats mushrooms like sweets. People call him Itchy Coo because he lives in a tank and doesn't have a bath or shower so he stinks and is always scathing. He's about sixty at guess. That's all I know about him. "We talked for a bit longer and decided that me and Gaz would carry on with the fencing and the others would go for more supplies. This time we all went out armed and heavily clothed. It was just me and Gaz at the farm when we heard a car horn. We dropped everything and went to see what it wa
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