Ch. 3 Something's Missing

Ryan's POV

Today would be one of the most exciting days of my Alpha career. I was about to wrap up a months-long negotiation by finalizing an alliance with one of our neighbor packs, RedWoods. In the four years since I took over as Alpha of Glass Lake (a title I share with my identical twin brother, Reegan), we’ve successfully negotiated several alliances but this was my first solo endeavor.

As the twin with the patient, calm, strategic-minded personality (compared to Reegan’s hot-headed, verbally explosive one), I was the obvious choice to take the lead when tenuous negotiations were required. 

“We are the strongest pack in the US with the largest territory and the most skilled warriors. These other packs have nothing to offer us. They just want to take what we have and you know I don’t have the patience for that bullshit.” Reegan had pushed back when I suggested we co-lead the treaty talks.

He had a point. He was not known for being patient, or subtle.

“But this is a chance to see through something dad started when he was a young Alpha. It would make him so happy if we could form an alliance with Ian’s pack.” I’d countered, hoping the chance to please our father would soften him. 

Ian was dad’s best friend and the beta at RedWoods. I knew this alliance meant a lot to them. I thought maybe it would mean something to Reegan too, but no such luck.

“We’re the Alphas now, Ryan.” He’d argued. “It’s our decisions the pack will scrutinize now, not dad’s. We have to be smart about who we align ourselves with.”

Recognizing a lost cause when I saw one, I decided to move forward on my own. I was definitely the more nostalgic between the two of us. Continuing our father’s legacy was important to me. 

“That’s fine.” I told him, smirking victoriously. “But I will be far too busy with negotiations to focus on this year’s Forest Preservation Summit. I’ll need you to attend and give our presentation this year.”

“Fuck!” He cursed in defeat. “Maybe I-”

“Oh no!” I cut him off. “You made your position clear. I wouldn’t dream of testing your patience with something as tedious as inter-pack relations. Enjoy the summit!”

I walked away laughing at his pissed off expression, knowing he got the short end of that proverbial stick. 

Now, six months later, I was on my way to finalize our agreement with RedWoods while Reegan was stuck at a boring summit. I was probably enjoying the thought of his misery a little too much. Though, when it was all said and done, Reegan would go back to his exciting, carefree lifestyle and I would be the one feeling lonely and bored. The success of this treaty would be a notch in my Alpha belt, but I also had to admit the work I had put into it had been a good distraction.

Despite the many perks of the position I enjoyed, my life was beginning to feel hollow. On the surface, it would seem I had everything going for me: Ryan Stone, twenty-four years old, devastatingly handsome (or so I’ve been told), ridiculously wealthy, and co-Alpha of the Glass Lake Pack. 

I didn’t mean to be vain, but I was well aware that the combination of my wealth, status, and good looks could get me just about anything I wanted from whomever I wanted it from. It was a perk Reegan had no shame in exploiting.

“Come to the bar with me and Zayne! Let loose and live a little!” My twin would hound me every weekend. 

“I would rather eat silver than watch you drink yourself stupid and pimp yourself out to all the slutty she-wolves clamoring for a title. You should be ashamed of yourself for guilting our Beta into going along.” I pretended to gag at the thought. 

Reegan would just roll his eyes at me, call me a prude or something like it, and go on his way. After a while, he just quit asking. At first I was relieved, but lately I’d been thinking it might be better than always being alone. 

Despite our differences, having a twin was pretty great! We had a built-in best friend since the day we were born and our bond was unbreakable. I would never want to do life without him, even if he irritated the hell out of me sometimes. 

I’d tried talking to Reegan several times over the last few weeks about the growing feeling of emptiness I was experiencing, but his response was always the same, 

“Ryan, you worry too much. Let it go and relax for a change.” He’d admonished me. Not exactly helpful.

Maybe he was right, but I just couldn’t seem to let it go. The truth was, I’d been feeling lonely lately and I really wanted to find my mate. Unfortunately, that was easier said than done. 

Twenty-four was old for any wolf, but especially an Alpha, to be unmated. We could find our mates at eighteen and most had found each other by twenty at the oldest. My wolf, Teague, was getting more and more restless with every passing year. 

Wolves mated for life and mated pairs were always stronger together, a fact that was even more important for an Alpha wolf.  An Alpha was meant to have his Luna. She would bring physical, mental and emotional strength to her partner. Our wolves would be larger and stronger with our mate by our side. An Alpha/Luna pair were a force to be reckoned with and were meant to help their pack thrive.

“We need to look for our mate.” Teague, my wolf, would whine in my head frequently.

“I know, buddy. But you know Reegan isn’t ready. If we end up sharing a mate and he doesn’t want her, it will destroy all of us.” I reminded him. 

“Rikkon wants our mate.” Teague scoffed at my excuse. Rikkon was Reegan’s wolf and Teague was convinced he would be able to sway my brother when we did finally find her. 

My brother and I were attractive guys, both 6’3 with chocolate brown hair and hazel eyes. We were both strong warriors who trained regularly, leading to bodies of rock-solid muscle. The combination of our status as Alphas and our good looks meant we never lacked female company if we wanted it. Reegan always wanted it. 

And that was the problem. As long as he was convinced he was happy living his current lifestyle, he wouldn’t entertain the idea of looking for our mate. Unfortunately, there was no indication he would be changing his mind any time soon. 

On the contrary, he kept systematically screwing his way through the female population. I swore that shit was going to come back to bite him someday soon. He was going to get caught with some poor guy’s mate and end up in a challenge to the death. He’d win, but that wouldn’t save his reputation or his conscience.

I’ll admit I was no saint either but unlike him, I could count my intimate relationships on one hand. I never dated anyone longer than a couple months. I didn’t want to risk falling for someone who wasn’t my mate, or letting them fall for me. I’d seen it happen before and it never ended well.

At the same time, I could never quite bring myself to go for the casual one-night stand. Reegan already cornered that market anyway. Don’t get me wrong, I craved sex as much as the next guy. I was a wolf after all. But lately any type of romantic relationship with someone who wasn’t my mate just didn’t interest me like it used to. 

Teague wanted nothing to do with it either. Without our mate, he was getting anxious and maybe a little depressed. As soon as I got close to any woman, I heard him howling in my head and saying, “It’s not her. Make her go away.” Then he whimpered and whined until I found a way to let her down easy and move on.

Maybe Reegan had the right idea to not press the issue, but I couldn’t be as unconcerned as he was any more. Although, to be honest, I thought his lack of enthusiasm was more deep-seated than he let on. As Identical twins, Reegan and I had shared many things but women had never been one of them. 

Wolves were possessive by nature. When that wolf was an Alpha, multiply that possessiveness by a hundred. For a single Alpha wolf, or even fraternal twins, that wouldn’t be a deterrent. 

But Reegan and I were identical twins, two halves of one soul. A fated mate was the Moon Goddess’s gift of your soul-mate. One soul mated to another soul for all eternity. Since my brother and I share a soul, it was entirely possible we would share a mate as well. Which brought us back to the possessiveness issue.

Reegan did NOT want to share. Admittedly, I wasn’t too stoked about the idea myself at first. But the more I thought about it, I really did believe that if the Moon Goddess designed it that way, the sharing piece would come naturally. 

Of course there would be bumps in the road, but nothing we couldn’t work out. I just wished I could get Reegan to talk to me about it long enough to convince him. So far, it was a conversation he wasn’t interested in having. 

All I knew for sure was I was lonely in a way that couldn’t be fixed by superficial relationships anymore. I needed “Her.” I needed “The One” to feel completely whole. I wanted to feel the sparks from our bond when we touched. I wanted the soul-deep connection my parents had. I wanted to hold her in my arms and know it was forever.

As I pulled into the drive of the RedWoods Beta’s house, I resolved to have a serious conversation with my brother when I got home. I was going to make him listen to me if I had to chain him to a chair. In the meantime, I would keep hoping for a miracle, that the Moon Goddess would just throw my mate into my path. If I just happened upon her, Reegan couldn’t be upset. Could he?