The contents of the package twisted my insides with an all too familiar jealousy.Somehow, I managed to tamp it down. At the end of a meeting, I had even managed to work up the courage to speak to her with a smile."It's all good, Miss Johnson. We're all adults here. I understand you have needs."I thought it was what a normal person would say.Puberty had probably taken a toll and a half on me. She did not recognize me at all.It barely stung, I swear.Later that day, I got her coffee the way she liked it—with half a shot of espresso. I even complimented the earrings I knew she bought recently.I figured I cheered her up. After all, she smiled at me.That smile had obliterated me instantaneously.Perhaps that was why I got careless, dropping my act too fast. She picked up on my intentions and began to keep a distance from me.I was distraught, but there was nothing I could do about it. I had to respect what she wanted.An opportunity came in the form of her housemate moving
There was another benefit that came with being her housemate. I was the closest person she had to ask for help from whenever she needed it.For example, she needed an emergency fake boyfriend. I was her immediate choice by proxy.I guess the luxury cars I splurged on previously came in handy then.The occasion was her ex-boyfriend's birthday party. Yes, the same ex-boyfriend I deeply despised from before.To be fair, I had told myself that he had nothing to do with us any longer, so I managed to keep my cool the entire time.When I returned from the parking lot, I saw him grabbing onto Miss Johnson's hand.The same jealousy took over me. I lunged and swung a punch at him.I knocked him over, looming over him in a heap on the floor. Just as I was about to continue, Miss Johnson held me back. She had called out my name with her soft voice.I came back to my senses in a flash.I panicked, utterly afraid that she had seen through my emotional instability.Instead, she reassured m
She started avoiding me.My fear grew, and I was at my wits' ends.I quit the company. I wanted to see how she would react.However, she stayed out until pretty late on the night of my last day of work.I drank my weight in alcohol until I finally felt its effect. She only came home then.I was only a little tipsy, but I used the liquid courage to tell her many things that I had not dared to say to her previously.At the very end, I kissed her.She dragged my unmoving body to the bed, leaving after shutting the door.I opened my eyes.I never stopped smiling that night.
The next day, I gave Veronica my address.She had tried to contact me many times previously. I just never responded.Giving Veronica my address was just to prove the horrible relationship I had with my 'family'. I wanted her to believe that I was already estranged from whatever family I had left.I wanted her to believe that I did not come from money, that I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth.I was a normal, regular person.I screwed up.She pushed me away for two months. She told me to reconsider my relationship with my parents.It was not what I had wanted at all, but she asked for it.How could I do otherwise of anything she asked?Either way, I guess it was time to deal with Veronica.
It rained cats and dogs the night before the two months came to an end.It was the kind of rain I hated the most, and it rendered me restless and antsy.I ran to Miss Johnson's house, rain be damned.I wanted to see her. She was my light.That night, we made things official.Outside the window, the pattering of raindrops seemed far less jarring.
The truth was that I kept the past from her because it hurt too much. I did not wish for her to know of such pain.However, through some ups and downs, I ended up telling her anyway.I thought that she would leave me. The way I loved was so twisted and sick that it would disgust and terrify just about anyone.However, she said no. She was not leaving. She would never leave, ever.She asked if all those years before had hurt.I replied, "I met you, Miss Johnson, and it didn’t hurt anymore."
My story ended there, with me finally coming into the light.I had to write to my mother. I would end my letter with one last note.[Look, mom. Your Jakey met his person.]
My best friend got me a 'toy' for my birthday. She even sent it to my office. I sneaked into the toilet to open it up, and I almost choked at the sight of it.She then sent me a text.[Lily: That thing cost me a fortune, so don't say that I don't treat you well.][Avery: Jeez, the size of this thing… Are you trying to kill me?]I went to the Amacon store near the office to return the product immediately.As soon as I opened the door, the delivery man and a handsome young man who was posting a parcel looked up at the same time.I clutched the box of 'tools' in my hands tightly, trying my best to keep my cool."I'd like to mail something."My palms were getting sweaty as my guilty conscience sneaked up on me.The delivery man promptly passed me a form to fill up as he took the box away from me.As soon as the box left my hands, it fell. Along with the packaging, everything was exposed in front of everyone.I froze.