“Anne
I felt weird. Everything I saw is so real. It made me think that it is my accident itself. Kemal would say that I am imagining things. But I think they are my memories. Even if you think it is crazy, they all triggered after the word, ‘Jayden.’ When I stepped out of the building, a drizzle hit me. I looked up into the sky and suddenly felt naked as if someone is watching me standing somewhere in the balcony of sky scrapers. I feel like this universe is sending me some message and I can’t understand it. It is 1:00 AM. I couldn’t sleep. It is raining heavily and I still have my windows open. I miss you and I don’t know why I miss Nottingham, especially the river Trent. Maybe, it has to do something with my regular dream in which I stand in a harsh rain waiting for someone. Funny, right? Bilmezdim.”
She felt dizzy like she woke up from a long sleep when the fact is Ayla only slept for four hours. Her dairy is under her chin. She started to rewind what happened last night. She doze off after a long time of writing dairy which is more like writing letters to her dead mother. They always start with ‘Anne’(mom). Since it is monsoon, London is decorated with monochromic color. It is dark even in 6 in the morning. Cold breeze hit her as soon as she opened her window. Her lips quivered as droplets of now silently pouring rain fell on her cheeks. She wished she is on some 35th floor in the middle of earth and sky. Somehow, she is confined to 3rd floor.
While her body protests against her mind to go back to sleep, Ayla got ready to her work. It is the only thing that gave her life a purpose. Being a data analyst is not a tough job or an easy one either. It is the only thing she has clarity in her life. If there is anyone called Jayden Knight doesn’t exist, she won’t be doing that work either. He inspired her.
She looks at her little firm which is now empty because of the losses. Five employees remained at the end. The name of the firm on the wall in the lobby is now being taken down. The cabin of the managing partner is already vacated, the name on glass door are scraped.
“I’ll miss this place. I’ll miss you too. You are going to have a new boss from today.” Her boss spoke looking at the city, his back turned to Ayla. “I assure. You will be delighted to work with him.”
“You said a megacorp bought this company and they are moving in. Do you think a junior data analyst like me could be able to work with that CEO?”
“I left a good word for you, Ayla Sargin. And the CEO isn’t that old like me. He is young. He does business with data. He will be happy to have a girl with an insight like you.”
Ayla simple nodded agreeing with him. But she knows, whatever the new company is, she will never get to meet that boss. The day went slowly. She has no work to do and the she knows from tomorrow, she wouldn’t have any time to rest. This is going to be a new office with new boss and employees. She played her favorite song keeping her headsets on. The song “Bilmezdim” is playing. She has listened to that for a thousand times till date. Every time she listens, it feels like the first time. May be it’s the word bilmezdim that gave her such a feeling. It meant ‘I wouldn’t know’ in her language, Turkish. If Ayla has to describe herself in word, she would say bilmezdim.
Since there is no one at the lobby, she got her headphones on before she even got out. She stops as the dainty glass doors opened and she stood a few feet away behind a wall to see the person who enters during this hour.
The sight before paralyzed her. A young man in his mid twenties entered keeping the middle button of his black suit. His walk shows the confidence and arrogance of his personality, he walks like he owns this damn building, it might be even true. Ayla’s now former boss, shook his hands with the man. He is tall with broad shoulders, the body is simply covered by the suit, but the fact that it is well built and chiseled like it held a six or eight pack is not hidden. He has a thick brown hair which is comb over. That gave him a simple and subtle look.
Ayla bent a little to see his face assuming that he is going to be her new boss. As if he sensed her, he suddenly looks at her side. She gasped watching his face and quickly hid herself behind the wall. He might have not seen her. Leaning her back on the wall, she took some quick breaths. She can’t believe her own eyes. It is Jayden, Jayden Knight. Jayden Knight is her new boss. The hair on her skin prickled, maybe this is how an aspirant aerospace engineer felt when he met Carl Sagan for the first time or a physicist get a glimpse of Albert Einstein or any fan girl who watched her favorite hero for the very first time. She slowly watched him pressing the elevator while he smiled a little when her boss said something. His gentle smile doesn’t hid his intimidating demeanor. And the song played as if it is meant to be.
Bilmezdim bu derdin, seni yolundan,Beni solumdan, edecegini.
I wouldn't know this troubleKeep me away from my left part (heart) keep away you from your way.
Bilmezdim en sessiz yanimdan,Yagmuruna kan terleyecegimi.
I wouldn't know from my most quiet side The rain would sweat blood And I'll sweat in the stormy mornings.
She quickly ran to the elevator after they are gone. The lift stops at 22nd floor. Watching the number 22, she smiled widely. He is his boss indeed. Her office is now a part of Knight & Grey Corporation. She finally got to work with Jayden Knight. She is now thankful for she didn’t get to meet him in the yesterday’s party in that very short dress. Now she understood why her former boss told her that she would be delighted to work with the CEO. At this instant, she really hopes the old man place a good name for her before Jayden Knight.
PRESENT DAY “Are you crazy? You turned him down? I pull out all the stops to get this done. I thought you both will be compatible. He pretty much fell for you as soon as he saw you. And you turned him down!” Quinn’s hands are spread in the air while she stood on her best friend’s bed. “Every girl at my office drools over him.” “I think I am not every girl at your office.” Ayla replied plainly while bending her body to tie her shoe lace. She is all set to go for a run, before Quinn barged into her house unannounced. “You are like 24 and you are still single, Ayla. You are not enjoying your life to fullest. You are like a typical girl from typical novels. This......" She continued all her theories on leading a life. Last night, Quinn set her up with a friend of her. He is cute, handsome, and smart and all the things a girl wants. But Ayla found zero interest in his "good" jokes. It is like a part of her is missing. There's some hole, something empty, some kind o
PRESENT DAY ‘Physically shot, emotionally hit Ready, aim, you get the party lit I'm shaken to the core, my defenses are shit Under siege, I'm marching to your beat You're staring at me, so damn piercing Got under my skin like a tattoo Let's keep going 'til hell's freezin' To get to heaven just take these two’ Maybe, it is a bad idea to listen to her favorite songs after all. Whether it is her vivid imagination or it is fate’s play, every lyric started to mean, especially, they are pointing out her situation. She switched off her speakers and removed her sweater. The top beneath was displaced when she did that and a part of her cleavage is displayed where the tattoo lay. It is a Korean word that contains, don’t know how many letters. The first letter is, 에which sounds ai, the next letter is so vague, as she got a wound there due to the accident. Everyone believed that the word is Ayla. As far as she remembered, her mother would kill her if she has a tattoo near her hear
Ayla is riding her car on the wide wet roads of London crowded with vehicles. Her heart is thumping out of anticipation of what is going to happen once she reaches her office. As she drove into a peaceful street, she saw a teen covering her head with a yellow colored raincoat on the side pathway. The girl shoved her hands into pockets of her skirt and walking slowly when someone from behind came running and removed her coat off her head. She didn’t say anything and walked like that. The girl reminds Ayla of herself. She has been through many harsh things when she was a teen. She grew up with her mom in Istanbul. When she is old enough, she started questioning her mom about her father. He was somewhere in Europe. Every time she asked about him, her mom used to smile. Just a smile, a smile of assurance saying that she was there and Ayla doesn't need anyone. And that made her feel secured enough. She was sixteen when her mom took her to Ankara for a tour. She started to
Ayla is already late when she entered the lobby. Her parka jacket and her hair are slightly touched by rain. With a bag and car keys in her hand, she rushed to the elevator which she found occupied. She moved to drive another one. But when she saw the person inside the elevator, her legs paralyzed. Ayla stared at the tall man in the black suit. He was keeping his middle button of his suit. He looked simple, sophisticated and subtle. He would have already recognized her. A wave of embarrassment hit her when she remembered what she did yesterday. He neither said anything nor his face showed anything. He looked at her as if she is nothing and pressed a button. The doors of elevator are closed on her face. "I'm dating an artist. He is cute." If it isn't for this message, Ayla could've met Jayden formally. She could've said 'good evening' and he could've wished her as wel
It is a foreign feeling for her. She is never used to that or never felt that before. Why is his gaze, so intense piercing her from head to toe, she wouldn’t understand. Being a second alone with this man, took her breath away, at the same time filled her with new life. He didn’t say anything rude, he didn’t even give a glare, he didn’t wear any kind of knives on his chest, yet he scares her. It is not the fear that he could do some potential harm to her; it is an unknown intimidation to which her body reacted without her knowledge. The rain drops are harsh on her sensitive skin. She raised her head to feel the more of piercing cold drops on her face. Slowly closing her eyes, she remembered the River Trent, the rain there. Her heart is filled with unknown agony. She started to miss something. She has no idea what. “Is that, that bad?” the voice came from the
NOTTINGHAM SEVEN YEARS BACK Ayla felt like she is sitting at the edge of a cliff, it is both excitement of meeting Blake for the first time and fear meeting many new people at the new school. She wished her father drop her off at least say how to behave or few father – daughter talks before she goes to school. But he left the home before she even woke up. She said to herself that he is a busy man that he will talk to her later. Her step brother Jack dropped her with much disgust as if she took away a very important aspect of his valuable time. Biting her lips, and fixing her sling bag, she walked briskly with a masked confidence, deep inside, she is trembling with dread. “Waoh, looker.” She heard who passed by her on skating wheels say. She didn’t understand the reason behind his jaw dropping, whether it is good or bad. She sets her red hair straight, and hurried to the office room and right before she e
NOTTINGHAMSEVEN YEARS AGO Ayla doesn’t know the meanings of the words such as bint or naff. Even if she knows good English, sometimes the slang is beyond her. When she checked them on the internet, she felt horrible, not to mention the words students used to call her, things they did to her always kept her in tears. Not even a single night after coming to Nottingham, she slept peacefully or went to bed without lying to her mother. Being in everyone’s mouths, becoming target to every harsh act is hardly endurable. Slowly, she lost confidence in herself. No matter what happens, she could never go to her dad. She highly doubts if she could even say hi to him and ask how his day was. She really hoped that Blake comes to her aid. He never did. And on one particular day, she finally saw his true colors. The same girl in the red skirt before now came in pink. Being the
LONDON PRESENT DAY Ayla looked at her reflection in the mirror and for the first time in her life, as far as she remembers, she admired her work on herself. Her short red hair has smoothened more with the striaghtener, she didn’t put much effort on doing her face as she put on her hair, a blush nude matte lipstick and a moisturizer did enough magic. She selected a blue colored 3/4 sleeve elegant pencil peplum dress. After all, she is now working at a mega corporation; she has to look elegant, class, and simple as per her comfort. The dress is in suitable hourglass shape with ruffles on the right side which hugged her body tightly showing all her curves perfectly. She always preferred simple pumps, but this time, she wore black pointed high heels. Her confidence rose to a new next level with the new perfect look. All thanks to her old boss. If he hadn’t called yesterday and informed that