Alya’s chest heaved up and down with every step her foot touched the ground. Sweat formed on the little of her cleavage shown from her sleeveless top. The song playing on her headset is nothing more than a constant buzz like an indistinctive noise when one is crowded. Her mind wandered somewhere along with her legs. She stopped at the first turn her eyes caught. Every time, she encounters a turn, she wouldn’t risk taking it, because she knows that she would lost. Sometimes, the turn appears just after two minutes of running. She would go back to her car and runs in a nearby park as long as she is not tired. Sometimes, she would go beyond miles.
She has run for four miles today. She was going to turn around when her shoes stopped in the midway spotting a lady who just got from a car. “Tamam, tamam. seni geri arayacağım,janam. Hoscakal.” She heard the woman say on the phone before she hung up. As soon as Ayla heard her language, the emotions buried deep in her chest raised down to take her into a nostalgic rollar coaster ride. As much as they hurt every cell of her body, hearing her mother tongue after such a long time, sooths her soul.
She wanted to go to her and talk to her. What happens then? Maybe, they will have a turkish tea beautifully filled in a glass appearing in bright red. Then they will talk about their country and hometowns. Eventually, the question how did they end up in London appears. Ayla doesn’t know how to answer that question when,she, herself doesn’t know the answer. Reluctantly, she recedes. Whenever she looked back, she doesn’t just see the road she ran through, she sees her whole life until that moment. She has crossed a thousand miles to reach there. She doesn’t know how and she doesn’t know why. She reached her home thinking how to prepare herself a tasty breakfast. She is both hungry and tired.
Ayla’s apartment is in the middle of the city. Even though it is small, she has a decent living. As soon as she opened the door, a spectrum of many lights incessantly moving displayed on her wall. Her living room is so dim and the TV is on. She doesn’t remember switching it on before she went out. She is so sure that she has locked the door. Her immediate thought is someone breaking in in her apartment. She sighed in relief knowing that someone is no one but her best friend, Quinn.
Quinn is sitting on the couch watching some foriegn movie. Judging by their costumes and colour, Ayla could say that it is an asian movie, but the other details are still unknown. Beside her is the breakfast nicely wrapped ina cover. Quinn, herself is having a bite from her own food. “I wanted to wait for you.” She said. “But I am hungry.”
Exactly at times like this,she would think, what good she did to deserve a friend like her. She fetched herself some water and sat beside her best friend who is so indulged in watching the movie. It’s Quinn’s job to watch movies and review them. Even though, her dad is loaded with pretty large sum, Quinn does what she wanted to do despite her family’s protests.
“Whom do you think is gonna win? The blue one are the villains and the red team is the hero’s. İt is the final match. And this movie is about failures.” Her friend questioned Ayla after a long silence of filling their bellies.
“Obviously, the hero team.” Ayla replied as she saw the two teams playing basket ball.
“Nope. The hero team losses.”
“But you said this is about failure. Eventually, they should win.”
Quinn shook her head taking another bite, “I said it is about failure. Who spoke anything about winning?”
Just like she predicted, the hero team lost the match. “You really are good at your work,Quinn.” She tapped her on her shoulder.
Quinn smirked as she said, “I am the queen.”
“Damn right,you are.” Ayla agreed.
Since it is Sunday, Ayla took her time to ease her strained muscles in a hot shower.
As soon as she got out, she find herself in a clumsy situation as her best friend shoot the question, “When was the last time you got laid?”
Fixing her wet hair and hiding her face so that her best friend couldn’t read her, she replied casually, “Why do you ask?”
“Because,people feel fresh and enthusiastic after a workout or running. You look exhausted. And you have been so preoccupied these days with your work. So, just asking.”
She doesn’t have to answer. Her silence told that it has been ages since she got laid. “You know what? We are going to a party.”
Like always, Ayla protested for she isn’t the party person or outgoing like Quinn. The high class parties scares her. She feels inferior like she doesn’t belong there.
“I don’t think it is a good idea. I will just stay at ....”
“Before you say another word,let me tell you this. Jayden Knight is attending the party.”
Ayla could barely listen the remaining things her friend says. The word Jayden Knight started to drum in her head. For her, he is a person, she wants to meet at least for once in her lifetime. All the protests are submerged in the sea as she now found a purpose to float on it. Jayden Knight.
She can't believe her own eyes when she saw herself in a royal blue bodycon dress with a v neckline. It showed all her curves perfectly. Her red hair is down in free curls. A little make up and she doesn’t look herself. ‘Beautiful.’ Ayla thought.
"Beautiful is not the word. You look hot. Your red hair, grey eyes, that dress, everything matched so perfectly. You are hot. You are going to steal hearts, darling." Quinn said as if she heard her thoughts.
But the fact is Quinn looks more beautiful in her bandage Bardot black dress. She looked not less than a model. As much as her blonde hair, round lips, her short height, made her appear cute, Quinn’s body and her attitude say otherwise.
"May be I should change. It's a little uncomfortable." Ayla said pulling down that dress that hugged her a little.
“Uncomfortable? You better be great full. It isn't showing much cleavage. I know you well. That's why I picked this. And don't even try to turn this plan down." She snapped.
"Thamam(okay)." She raised her hands in surrender. Anything for Jayden.
*
Ayla sat at the counter without having any drink waiting for Quinn. She found a group of people, two women and two men making toasts while laughing loudly. Some one behind her started to speak something about Jayden. The word Jayden started to come out from many persons. Suddenly, their talking started to sound like an echo, a vague memory just like this came at a glimpse to her. The next second, Ayla is on the road when the truck moved swiftly towards her. She gasped as someone moved her by her shoulder.
This isn’t a dream. She is still in the party. Somehow, memories related to her past triggered. She rushed through the crowd to go out. “Next time.” She told herself when the image of Jayden Knight appears in her mind.
*
Jayden stood in the balcony of the 21st floor. Watching the city lights in a clear sky amused him. It felt like man is the sole ruler of universe. His silky brown hair was comb over. He is tall with broad shoulders. His sleeves are rolled at his elbows and the two buttons of his white shirt are opened revealing a little of his chest. His face revealed no emotion but his brain and heart held a strong sense of admiration for the city. But at the end, he knew that the universe decides. As much as he wants to change it, he couldn't.
He heard the steps coming towards him.”'Not now, Mason. I said I am not coming." He said slowly.
Mason is his best friend, his partner. He is the brother from another mother. That's why he got to hear all his non sense.
"Then don't. But listen to me. I saw her."
"Who?" Jayden asked plainly as if it has not affected him, but only he knew how much surprised, excited and at the same time hated he is to hear that. He knew who she was. He had not heard of her for six years until now. The word "she" itself brought all the memories back. He tried not to think of it. But the damn good memory came at a glimpse.
"You know who. She was with that blonde. She hasn't changed much. She was still like that clumsy little lost puppy. She felt like she doesn't belong here. It was evident in her face. She is a woman now, a beautiful woman..." Mason kept talking about her until Jayden turned back to face him with an undeterminable glare. Leaning back on the railing, he shoved his hands into his pockets.
"She isn't a lost puppy. She wasn't. I don't care whom you saw or what you saw. It has nothing to do with me. Now don't waste my time. Get out." He spoke in a hoarse tone and continued what he is doing. But now, his heart and brain are not with him.
“Anne I felt weird. Everything I saw is so real. It made me think that it is my accident itself. Kemal would say that I am imagining things. But I think they are my memories. Even if you think it is crazy, they all triggered after the word, ‘Jayden.’ When I stepped out of the building, a drizzle hit me. I looked up into the sky and suddenly felt naked as if someone is watching me standing somewhere in the balcony of sky scrapers. I feel like this universe is sending me some message and I can’t understand it. It is 1:00 AM. I couldn’t sleep. It is raining heavily and I still have my windows open. I miss you and I don’t know why I miss Nottingham, especially the river Trent. Maybe, it has to do something with my regular dream in which I stand in a harsh rain waiting for someone. Funny, right? Bilmezdim.” She felt dizzy like she woke up from a long sleep when the fact is Ayla only slept for four hours. Her dairy is under her chin. She started to rewind what happened last
PRESENT DAY “Are you crazy? You turned him down? I pull out all the stops to get this done. I thought you both will be compatible. He pretty much fell for you as soon as he saw you. And you turned him down!” Quinn’s hands are spread in the air while she stood on her best friend’s bed. “Every girl at my office drools over him.” “I think I am not every girl at your office.” Ayla replied plainly while bending her body to tie her shoe lace. She is all set to go for a run, before Quinn barged into her house unannounced. “You are like 24 and you are still single, Ayla. You are not enjoying your life to fullest. You are like a typical girl from typical novels. This......" She continued all her theories on leading a life. Last night, Quinn set her up with a friend of her. He is cute, handsome, and smart and all the things a girl wants. But Ayla found zero interest in his "good" jokes. It is like a part of her is missing. There's some hole, something empty, some kind o
PRESENT DAY ‘Physically shot, emotionally hit Ready, aim, you get the party lit I'm shaken to the core, my defenses are shit Under siege, I'm marching to your beat You're staring at me, so damn piercing Got under my skin like a tattoo Let's keep going 'til hell's freezin' To get to heaven just take these two’ Maybe, it is a bad idea to listen to her favorite songs after all. Whether it is her vivid imagination or it is fate’s play, every lyric started to mean, especially, they are pointing out her situation. She switched off her speakers and removed her sweater. The top beneath was displaced when she did that and a part of her cleavage is displayed where the tattoo lay. It is a Korean word that contains, don’t know how many letters. The first letter is, 에which sounds ai, the next letter is so vague, as she got a wound there due to the accident. Everyone believed that the word is Ayla. As far as she remembered, her mother would kill her if she has a tattoo near her hear
Ayla is riding her car on the wide wet roads of London crowded with vehicles. Her heart is thumping out of anticipation of what is going to happen once she reaches her office. As she drove into a peaceful street, she saw a teen covering her head with a yellow colored raincoat on the side pathway. The girl shoved her hands into pockets of her skirt and walking slowly when someone from behind came running and removed her coat off her head. She didn’t say anything and walked like that. The girl reminds Ayla of herself. She has been through many harsh things when she was a teen. She grew up with her mom in Istanbul. When she is old enough, she started questioning her mom about her father. He was somewhere in Europe. Every time she asked about him, her mom used to smile. Just a smile, a smile of assurance saying that she was there and Ayla doesn't need anyone. And that made her feel secured enough. She was sixteen when her mom took her to Ankara for a tour. She started to
Ayla is already late when she entered the lobby. Her parka jacket and her hair are slightly touched by rain. With a bag and car keys in her hand, she rushed to the elevator which she found occupied. She moved to drive another one. But when she saw the person inside the elevator, her legs paralyzed. Ayla stared at the tall man in the black suit. He was keeping his middle button of his suit. He looked simple, sophisticated and subtle. He would have already recognized her. A wave of embarrassment hit her when she remembered what she did yesterday. He neither said anything nor his face showed anything. He looked at her as if she is nothing and pressed a button. The doors of elevator are closed on her face. "I'm dating an artist. He is cute." If it isn't for this message, Ayla could've met Jayden formally. She could've said 'good evening' and he could've wished her as wel
It is a foreign feeling for her. She is never used to that or never felt that before. Why is his gaze, so intense piercing her from head to toe, she wouldn’t understand. Being a second alone with this man, took her breath away, at the same time filled her with new life. He didn’t say anything rude, he didn’t even give a glare, he didn’t wear any kind of knives on his chest, yet he scares her. It is not the fear that he could do some potential harm to her; it is an unknown intimidation to which her body reacted without her knowledge. The rain drops are harsh on her sensitive skin. She raised her head to feel the more of piercing cold drops on her face. Slowly closing her eyes, she remembered the River Trent, the rain there. Her heart is filled with unknown agony. She started to miss something. She has no idea what. “Is that, that bad?” the voice came from the
NOTTINGHAM SEVEN YEARS BACK Ayla felt like she is sitting at the edge of a cliff, it is both excitement of meeting Blake for the first time and fear meeting many new people at the new school. She wished her father drop her off at least say how to behave or few father – daughter talks before she goes to school. But he left the home before she even woke up. She said to herself that he is a busy man that he will talk to her later. Her step brother Jack dropped her with much disgust as if she took away a very important aspect of his valuable time. Biting her lips, and fixing her sling bag, she walked briskly with a masked confidence, deep inside, she is trembling with dread. “Waoh, looker.” She heard who passed by her on skating wheels say. She didn’t understand the reason behind his jaw dropping, whether it is good or bad. She sets her red hair straight, and hurried to the office room and right before she e
NOTTINGHAMSEVEN YEARS AGO Ayla doesn’t know the meanings of the words such as bint or naff. Even if she knows good English, sometimes the slang is beyond her. When she checked them on the internet, she felt horrible, not to mention the words students used to call her, things they did to her always kept her in tears. Not even a single night after coming to Nottingham, she slept peacefully or went to bed without lying to her mother. Being in everyone’s mouths, becoming target to every harsh act is hardly endurable. Slowly, she lost confidence in herself. No matter what happens, she could never go to her dad. She highly doubts if she could even say hi to him and ask how his day was. She really hoped that Blake comes to her aid. He never did. And on one particular day, she finally saw his true colors. The same girl in the red skirt before now came in pink. Being the