Be Mine
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For a second he couldn't believe it, he stood there staring at her dumbfounded, his emotions went from anger to pain to anger again then back to pain. "Why?". His voice barely came out, he was afraid if it came out loud then it'd be as a roar. "What's your excuse for all this?". "I....I don't want to live anymore, I'm tired". She cried. "I've been tired for a long time now Raysham". Unable to control himself he grabbed her shoulder and backed her against the counter so there was no gap between them. "That is not an excuse!". He almost yelled. "That is not a fucking excuse!". She said nothing, just sobbed and sniffled quietly. "You are a coward Sayya, you lost faith in us, in yourself, Sayya you gave up on everything!". He said. Tears pricked his vision but he forced them back by blinking. "Yes you have been through a lot but you had absolutely no right to do that, you should have spoken to someone, if you hated me so much that you couldn't talk to me then you should have at least told Hytham!". He said. "My life isn't worth living Raysham, you know it!". She cried. "I don't know! All I know is that in months to come I will sit alone and grieve knowing you did this to us, I will grieve knowing you caused the pain". He said.
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Be Mine THIRTEEN
He was half way up the stairs when he heard one of the house help calling his attention, he turned around to face her."Yes?"."Sorry to bother you , sir, but I felt you had to know; ma'am has been in her room all day, she barely ate anything". She supplied efficiently."Is she unwell?". He asked at once."I'm not sure sir, she's been crying though". She replied quietly as though she wasn't sure if she was supposed to be telling him.He rubbed his temple wearily as guilt set in, no doubt she was like that because of him. Perhaps it was time he stopped trying to avoid the inevitable and just talk to her."Have some food taken upstairs to her". He said."Yes sir, shall I set the table for you?".He shook his head and said a quiet "Thank you" before he turned around and continued his way up.Food was obviously the least of his concerns at this point of his life, he just needed peace, but who was he kidding?He had two women in his life, one of which he had left with great difficulty a
Be Mine TWELVE
Somehow they had made their way to the living room, they both sat on the couch curled up against each other, and both said nothing, just quietly thought about what was to come. The silence was peaceful after all the piercing words that had been so bluntly said.…..It was quiet and peaceful until his cell phone rang.For a moment he ignored it, just sat there holding onto her.Ring ring....."You're not getting that?". She asked quietly."I don't want to". He told her.She simply nodded and leaned further into him.The ringing soon stopped and the silence returned momentarily before the phone began to ring once more.Sighing irritatedly, he grabbed the phone and glanced at the caller ID, his jaw clenched and his mood darkened even more, reluctantly he answered the call."How you doing?". He spoke quietly.A meek voice answered from the other end:"I'm fine. I was wondering if it'd be okay if I paid Sayya a visit". Without heisting a said a flat:"No"."No?". She asked shocked by his r
Be Mine ELEVEN
He lowered the glass after draining the content, the sour taste had him squinting his eyes and knitting his brows reflexively. He hopped of the counter he had been sitting on and made his way to the sink."You good?". Sayya said from behind him.He nodded."Yeah, better". He said as he turned on the tap and rinsed out the glass quickly."You sure? You still look....""Enough about me". He said cutting her short.He set the glass aside and made his way back to her."Tell me, how many hospitals have you been to?". He asked her.She averted her gaze from his."One". She replied quietly."One?". He said in disbelief. "You've only been to one hospital, Sayya, and you've given up hope?"."I trust the doctor Raysham, he's competent enough". She said and made to walk passed him but he placed his hands on both sides of the counter behind her , efficiently tapping her between him and the counter."If you believe he's so competent then why didn't he get the tumor out of your head before it got
Be Mine TEN
With what dignity he could muster he walked down the stairs, eyelids heavy and head light, he tried hard not to think about how stupid he had been last night.Weren't people supposed to forget what they did in their state of drunkenness??"God almighty". He breathed quietly.What was he to tell Sayya when he went to her looking like a walking corpse? That he, Raysham Muhammad was nursing a hangover? A hangover…He groaned quietly as he rubbed his temple wearily.He dragged in a deep breath and straightened up when he got downstairs, ready to face his shame and stupidity, ready to apologize for his shameful acts last night, however he found the dining room void of her presence, she was never late during dinning hours, unless of course she wasn't coming at all. He lingered around for a few minutes, and on making peace with the fact that she wasn’t going to show, he heaved a sigh and headed out. He'd talk to her, but not now, for now he needed to be with Sayya.One last glance at the
Be Mine NINE
‘I'm dying, Raysham……’Her words never stopper replaying themselves in his mind. They had somehow managed to bury themselves in the deepest and darkest part of his soul.He took another long sip from his glass of wine. He had intended to drown everything out but no amount of wine could mute her voice in his head; no amount of wine could numb the pain.He stared at the reflection of the moon in the pool, it glowed brightly; almost carefree he thought. He found himself fantasizing about what being the moon would be like, up in the sky with no pain and worries, he laughed at his silly thoughts and took another sip, emptying the content of the glass.He reached for the bottle to refill the glass but found it empty; irritated he stood up and walked into the house to get another, his head felt light and faint, too faint to think straight.Her voice made him turn around reluctantly."Lateefah". He said lazily. "You're not asleep yet?".She got up from the sofa she had been sitting and walked
Be Mine EIGHT
* I saw the beauty of the sky Colors so vibrant you'd think they never die* I saw the beauty of the waves Every splash telling a story of younger days* I saw the beauty of the rains Every drop falling freely like horses without reins * I saw the beauty of the night For only then were the stars alight* I saw the beauty in the flames of a fire Each one burning with a different desire* I saw the beauty of Gold Glistening with bitter stories untold* Oh I saw the beauty of dust and clay Simple reminders of our end someday. Opening her eyes she realized it was afternoon for sunlight now streamed into the room through the partly parted curtains.She felt better after a nap, it did her as much good as a few hours of sleep could do. It took a moment before her memories came flooding back like waves crashing against the shores, death was hanging in a corner.She dragged in a deep breath and pulled herself up so her back leaned against the headboard, just as she began to ponder on why
Be Mine SEVEN
She said nothing, did nothing to stifle the sobs that rattled her entire being.Again he reached out and brushed her tears off gently."I'll do it". He said.And of course she knew he wasn't one to bluff, especially not in situations like this."Please don't". She said almost breathlessly. "I can't bear to see you in pain and misery, Raysham, so please do not ask me"."Sayya I am in so much misery right now, I feel helpless and useless. I have failed you in every way there is, I have failed as a friend, as someone who's supposed to look after you, I have failed as your husband". He said. "So don't talk to me about pain and misery".She blinked and fresh streams of tears flowed down her cheeks smoothly, swallowing the lump in her throat she took hold of his hand and clutched it tightly, as though her life depended on it. she knew she could never win against him so she decided to tell him, perhaps she’d feel better in a way; lighter."I....I'm unwell". She stuttered quietly.As if tha
Be Mine SIX
They held onto each other not wanting to welcome reality back into their little bubble of bliss, but when the ringing continued they grew irritated and broke apart breathing heavily."Sorry for the interruption". He said to her, his voice hoarse and low. She merely nodded; it was all she could do at the moment.He picked up the phone resting on the armrest of the couch and glanced at the screen, his jaw clenched visibly and he made to return it when she said:"Aren't you going to answer that?".He shook his head."I'd rather not". He said."Who is it?". She said."Mother". He answered dryly.She forced on a smile and said:"Well answer it". She could see the reluctance in his eyes but she encouraged him with her faint smile and a small nod. He dragged in a deep breath before tapping on the answer icon and raising the phone to his ear."Morning Mother". He said dryly, coldly.Her heart broke on hearing his tone, she couldn't help but remember how fond of his mother he used to be; she
Be Mine FIVE
A ghostly smile lingered on her face as she stared blankly at the flat screen, true that the movie was indeed very interesting but what caught her attention and held it was the fact that it brought up so many memories, good memories.Regardless of her smile a tear drop slid down her cheek, who was she deceiving anyway? She let the smile fade slowly, she took a deep breath and brushed off the tears with the back of her hand, the emptiness and quietness of the house was usually comforting but it suddenly felt depressing. A house which had been so alive with people was now hollow and depressing, first her parents, then Aunt Zarah, even Ima had left when she got married, she probably didn't think she'd come back anytime soon, it felt as though she was leaving with ghosts, the cleaners would come and tidy the house five times a week when she wasn't home.It was better that way, or at least that's what she told herself. The less people you chill with the less bullshit you deal with.She tri
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