I'll surely update regularly from tomorrow. Thank you so much for patiently waiting and stay tuned to conclude the bittersweet journey.
ChrisannaYou know what's the worst part of this phase? I know every bit of change happening in my body and my mind but people around me— who love me— are trying their best to hide those changes I may not see but feel. I snuggle into Samuel's arms after breaking the kiss and exhaling deeply as his grip tightens. I feel his heart racing, faster than ever.He thinks I didn't notice anything. But I did feel everything. I felt the sudden change in his voice which he tried to hide. I felt his hands suddenly moving more gently than ever as if he was scared to touch my hair, as if he feared the more he'll mess with them the more they'll come out. He thinks he can prevent them from falling anymore. Maybe. But he can't.I know everything. I feel everything.I feel him. He can't hide. He can't lie. "You're feeling well? We can cancel the date if you want to", he asks me, squeezing my shoulders gently. "No. I wanna go""You sure""Hmm", I lift my head and smile at him. *We spent the rest of
Hello, everyone. This month has been a really bad one. After I posted the previous chapter almost 10 days ago, I was doing pretty well. None of my family members nor I have ever suffered from Dengue before which is why I had no idea that after the fever decreases abruptly there is a higher chance to have a very bad fever after a couple of days. I wasn't fully recovered. Had to get admitted in the hospital. I really tried my best to use my free time to write something but it was next to impossible. It's been two days since I have come back home and doing pretty well. But due to a gap in writing, I'm unable to get motivated to write the next chapter. Must be an absurd request but please let me know in the comments how many of you are still with me, waiting for the rest of the chapters, so I can have some boost in motivation and push myself to finally get back on track. Thanks in advance for all the good wishes. Hugs?
Chrisanna"Samuel said YES", I'm goggling at the message reflecting on my screen. I have read it more than a hundred times now, countless times pinched myself and it's not a dream. "Is he old?""No. He's twenty-five. Maybe, two to three months older than me""Is he ugly?""No""Is he a playboy?""No. I mean— I don't know""Is he an Andrew Tate fan?" "No", I shoot Nancy a glare as my voice comes uncontrollably like a thunderstorm.The tiny opera club where people have been vibing idly is now converted into people who are eyeing me. "Then what's the problem?" She asks, sipping from her beer. "He doesn't sound to be that bad""I never said he is bad", I shrug, taking a look at my wristwatch. "Or else you're into girls", Nate suddenly jumps into the conversation as he settles his glasses carefully on the middle of his nose, looking into his phone. As usual."Huh?" I choke on my drink. "Gosh!" Nancy enlarges her eyes. "Girl, I hope you never intended to kiss me on the sleepovers""Wha
Chrisanna Wait!I blink twice, take a deep breath and look up at him again. He's looking straight into my eyes, unconcerned, unaffected as if I'm a literal stranger he's talking to. "What?""Break the damn alliance, Auburn!" he repeats with a fierce tone. I hadn't been called by my middle name ever since he left because he used to be the one to call me Auburn. I try not to dive into my thoughts right now since I have to know what the hell is going on."Okay. I'm definitely not getting anything. You want me to break the alliance?" I ask again.His jaw clenches as his thick eyebrows narrow as if he's done with repeating. "Yeah. You have good hearing. I said it", says Samuel.And what the hell!"Okay. Then why did you agree in the first place?" I scoff. He doesn't reply for a second. "I'm not here to take on a rivalry with you""Why do you want me to do that?" I exclaim. "Simply because I don't wanna marry you", his voice is much harsher than before. His abrupt confession has me i
ChrisannaI left everyone discussing my decision and came back to my room to take a shower. I'm indeed a little nervous about the thing I have done only to teach Samuel a good lesson. What if it somehow goes wrong?I hope it does not. I'm doing it after joining all the practical thoughts together. If I wait for Samuel to announce his actual decision, he's going to eat up all the time we'll be getting before the wedding. I can't carry this facade for so long. And it's gonna build more excitement and expectations in everyone. I'm sure Samuel is going to lose his mind and immediately announce his decision to call off the marriage. A knock occurs on my door after I get dressed in my sweatshirt and yoga pants. I open the door and discover paa standing over there."Were you about to take a nap?" he asks."No, paa. Please come inside", I say.My heart races faster. Paa knows me more than anyone. And I hate to lie to him. I hope he doesn't ask me anything about my decision."How's your lea
Chrisanna Damn! Was that a— dream? I find myself on my bed when I open my eyes wider. I was sleeping! That was a dream! That marriage— I get up right away and roll my eyes around. Meanwhile, mama comes into the room. My eyes widen at her. She's wearing the same dress that she was wearing at the wedding!"Hey, you woke up?" She smiles and strides towards my bed. Cupping my face, she looks at me with concern in her eyes. "How are you feeling now?"I frown. "What happened to me?""Chrissie, you fainted after the wedding ceremony", she tells me.My lips part in shock. I look down at myself. I'm wearing the wedding dress. This means I actually fainted."I'm married?" I exclaim."Chrissie, are you alright, sweetie?" her voice is more serious this time as she stares down at me. I pull on an immediate smile and hold her wrist. "Yes. I'm fine, mama. I just don't remember how I— fainted. I thought I was dreaming about the— wedding", I mutter, recollecting every moment of the ceremony. I can
Chrisanna Which message? My eyes widen at his question. Meanwhile, before I could say anything else, Kylee comes inside with Zoey. Zoey meows at me right away, jumping onto my lap. "She missed you", Kylee pets Zoey's head as I smile, rubbing her fluffy furry torso."Wait!" Samuel husks. As my gaze drifts back to him, he gawks at us in disbelief. "What's this?" he scoffs, narrowing his thick eyebrows in annoyance. I look at Zoey before focusing back on Samuel again. "This? This is a dinosaur with lots of furs and fluff"Samuel throws me a blank look. "I didn't know you had never seen a cat before in your life, Samuel", I gasp under my breath as Zoey snuggles to me. Kylee cracks up. "I can see, it's a cat. But why is it here?" he shrugs."First of all, she's a female cat. So, stop saying 'it'. Call her 'she' And her name is Zoey. Cute no?"Samuel rolls his eyes. "Okay. But it— why is she here?""Because I'm here""Why are you even here?" he grunts with a voice of frustration.I t
Samuel "Denial is normal. Having no clue what to do is normal. You don't understand why you're doing a certain thing. It's fine. Everything makes sense as long as you accept yourself, your emotions, and your decisions. Acceptance is the key. God accepts you, understands your dilemma and you also SHOULD"I lock my phone and take my AirPods out after turning the podcast off. Summer has finally arrived and I didn't realise that until I landed in Texas. It's still colder in Melbourne. It's always cold over there, at least to me. The warmth is missing which I always feel in Texas. For eight years, I was away from this warmth. I am scared of it, even though I like it. I'm scared of light, sunshine and zeal. Over the years, it only got worse. I look at my phone. It's already eight. Sitting on the wooden bench, I watch the unknown faces cheerfully jog around to start a better day. And I'm here to start a day without the expectation of any change. I get onto my feet and put on the hood of