"Hey, I'll just buy something downstairs." I told Ivory who's now busy with the report that she had to do as the president of the student council. "You sure you're okay to go out alone?" She asked. "I'm a hundred percent sure." "Okay." She replied with a nod. Her eyes didn't leave the screen of her computer. "Wala kang ipapabili?" Tanong ko. "Nothing. Just be safe. Diyan ka lang sa baba, ah." I nodded and made my to the convenience store. When I was inside the elevator, I had a hard time composing myself. Ang daming tao sa loob, siksikan pa. I almost couldn't breath, not only because it was crowded inside but because I was triggered by that traumatic memory I had in Cebu when I went out alone.This is so tiresome. Lagi na lang ganito nararamdaman ko every time I try to do my usual routine alone. I am already breathing heavily and was about to get back to the unit dahil sa takot kong baka maulit na naman '
"Hey, you can do this." Ethan told me as he gently hold my hand. We were in front of my parents' house and I am feeling a little nervous to get inside. Actually, halo halo ang emosyon ko ngayon. A part of me hated the fact that my parents were not really caring and nice to me ever since. They were blinded by their fame. They enjoyed their spot under the limelight. They caused me both emotional and mental damages. I could feel anger boiling up in my heart again just by thinking every cruel thing my parents put me in, so I tried to execute the breathing exercises for me to calm down. I can't be like this right now. I needed to get things done. I needed to fight against my own monsters. "Masama ba ang pakiramdam mo? Let's just go back when you're ready to face them again, Erin. You need to compose yourself first, okay? Please don't push yourself too hard. May nakalaang oras para sa lahat ng bagay. There's no need to rush." Ethan tried to make me feel better with all tho
"Are you feeling better now?" Ethan asked me, but I didn't look at him. Namamanhid ang labi ko nang dahil sa kanya! "Hey. I'm sorry. I was just tempted to kiss you." I groaned. "Ugh. Can you please just shut up? Masyado ka nang nakadagdag sa problema ko sa buhay." "I'm sorry, okay? I just wanted you to feel better through my kisses." Tingnan mo nga 'to at binibiro na naman ako! "Tumahimik ka na lang, please. Tama na kaka-mention tungkol sa kiss na 'yan!" Naiirita kong sambit. At tawang tawa naman si gago. Ang sarap talaga nitong suntukin, eh. Hindi ko na ulit pa pinakinggan ang mga pinagsasabi niyang hindi magandang pakinggan para sa 'kin. Mahawaan pa ako sa kaharutan niya. "Hoy. Kung gusto mo talaga ako, samahan mo nga ako sa loob ng house nila mommy." Paghahamon ko sa kanya. I thought he was going to say no but he immediately offered his hand to me. "Take my hand and hold on to it tightly. I'll always be by your side, no matter what happens." I rolled my eyes after hearing
"Love-" I was about to say something to Ethan but stopped when I realized what I just said. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang lumingon si Ethan sa 'kin. And his eyes widened as well. Of course, we're both shocked! He obviously heard what I just called him. Magkatabi lang naman kaming dalawa. Umawang ang labi nito at nagtatanong ang mga mata. "Did... did you just call me 'love'?" He asked, amused. I bit my lower lip. I didn't know what to say again! Pasmado talaga ang bibig ko at kung anu ano na lang ang lumalabas mula dito! Palaging nadudulas, eh. "I mean-" Umiwas ako ng tingin nang mapansing sumeryoso ang mukha nito. I'm never ready to talk about 'this' yet. Para akong kakapusan ng hininga kapag pag-uusapan namin ang relasyon namin or whatever. Kasi alam ko na kung saan 'to patungo, eh! As I said, I don't want to commit myself to Ethan for now. And I don't to disappoint or hurt him in any way. "Alam mo bang ilang beses ko nang pinangarap na tawagin mo rin ako ng ganoon, Zephyrine?"
"That wasn't your fault, okay? It was mine. I'm sorry." Ethan said repeatedly even if he didn't need to. "Let's stop putting the blame on ourselves, please. And stop apologizing. We just slept—that's all. Mom was just overreacting. Didn't know she had that attitude." Napailing na lang ako.Seriously? Siya talaga magdidikta sa aming dalawa na gawin nang official ang relasyon namin ni Ethan? That sounded so weird for me."Still... ako ang lalaki. I should've known that it would put you in the bad side."I rolled my eyes. "Duh? As if sleeping together is that big of a deal. We didn't even kiss. Inaantok na nga tayo pareho kagabi. OA talaga ng mom ko, for real. Don't worry about it that much. We won't rush things the way she wanted us to."He let out a deep sigh before nodding. He looked so stressed out about what happened. Mom's pressuring him, too. I wasn't mad at her, I was just pissed. Kaya nga kami umalis agad after breakfast. I didn't want to hear mom's opinions about Ethan and I an
I guess love can actually drive us insane. It's terrifiying at most times. I could attest that."She's still not answering her phone?" Ethan asked while driving the car to the cafe where my sister frequent. At least that's what her friends told me over the phone a while back.I puckered my lips as I shook my head. I also couldn't help but let out a heavy sigh. It's been hours since my sister went missing in action. And we still couldn't track her. Pero hindi naman ako susuko sa paghahanap sa kanya. Kaya lang ay pagod na talaga ako sa ngayon. I felt like my body's about to give up any moment from now, but I didn't make it obvious to Ethan. Alam kong pagod na rin siya. The least I could do is to not stress him out more. Kahit na hindi ako sure kung anong ginagawa ko ngayon. Kasi sa totoo lang, hindi naman na dapat nandito si Ethan. This has nothing to do with him. And yet he's here—to help me find my sister. I heard him heave a deep breath as well. He then carefully pulled over near a
After the reconciliation with my sister, I called our parents to come over. I did not expect them to come right away. But they really did. Nagulat na lang ako na wala pang isang oras ay nakarating na sila sa rest house na kung saan kasalukuyang tumutuloy si Aye Zafie. Mom was hysterically sobbing as she tightly hugged Ate Zafie, apologizing for her shortcomings all over again. Dad was silently watching them but I know better. He's breaking down deep inside but he just wouldn't show it off.They were both worried for my sister. We all are. My heart tugged at the sight of them embracing one another as I stood from afar. I couldn't help but break into a small smile as I watch my little family slowly getting back together. I've longed for this ever since. Despite all the issues, the disappointments, the hatred, and the betrayals... I've always found my way to them. I've learned how to forgive my parents especially my mother who had made my teenage life worse than it could have been. T
"Erin? I'm going out with my friends today." I heard Ate Zaf said from outside my bedroom.I pouted as I continued to draw myself on my sketchbook. Hindi ako sumagot kaya narinig ko na naman ulit ang boses ni Ate."Erin, alam kong naririnig mo 'ko. Huwag ka na'ng magtampo. I'll buy you your favorite Pepero pag-uwi ko," she said that made me smile."Okay po!" I shouted back and I heard her groaned to which I just laughed.I locked myself inside my room the whole day while my sister's out with her friends. Nagpapahatid na lang ako ng pagkain sa helper namin tuwing meal time na. My favorite pasta was delivered to me as well after I asked my sister to order it for me para 'yon na lang ang meryenda ko.Kumakain lang ako habang nags-scroll sa P*******t. I was looking for new makeup and outfit ideas. Gusto ko kasing ibang look ko na naman ang makikita ng mga inggitera kong school mates ngayong pasukan. Last year, I went for the hot chic look. And I'm planning to go for the classy look this ye