"I thought you would be a priest forever for me, it turns out you have a makmum besides me."
January 2019
"Sister, try to call Shabir, why is it that eight o'clock hasn't arrived yet. The head of the KUA has asked him, he said if it's still far away, he wants to go to Bale first because you have to have your friend's contract."
Haziya nodded as she took out her cell phone from the small bag that was placed on the table. Her face has been made up since she finished the morning prayer. Shabir's delay in going to KUA worried him, although he tried to be calm, his mind was already far away. Remembering last night they had a short fight. In his heart he kept on praying for ease.
Could Shabir cancel that holy intention? He had tried to call twice, only the operator's voice could be heard.
"How are you, Dick?" Shukri asked again. Haziya's shake of the head was enough to tell her without having to answer.
"Well, we'll just have to wait," said Shukri, then entered the room next to him to inform the Head of KUA.
"Relax, don't worry too much about the make-up fading," advised Lidya, her sister who faithfully accompanied her in the waiting chair in front of the ceremony room.
Haziya pulled a smile, her eyes glanced at the two old people who were sitting not far from her place. Her mother's face looked nervous.
***
"Yes, thank God!"
Gratitude filled the ceremony room. Haziya wiped her tears before greeting her legal husband.
After waiting for two years, they unite after Shabir recites the sacred contract. Haziya's heart had been pounding since Shabir and his family had arrived fifteen minutes ago, at ten o'clock exactly. He kept many questions that bothered his mind, immediately entered the ceremony room so that the marriage contract process could begin as soon as possible."Congratulations," greeted Haziya's relatives and friends who accompanied her. It wasn't that she was relieved, but Haziya's heart was pounding harder and harder.
Marriage is the beginning of a new life. Haziya was really happy after Shabir recited the consent, but her doubts were getting worse. Will she be able to be a good wife for Shabir?
"Be an obedient, patient and qanaah wife." Haziya always listened to what her mother said.
"Dara baroe, don't frown. Smile." Lidya gently nudged Haziya who was pensive while waiting for the photographer to direct some poses.
Check it out! Check it out!
"Closer, Bang Shabir holds Sis Haziya's hand. Yes, I see. Smile."
Check it out!
***
June 2020
"Sis, are you really going to burn it?"
Haziya nodded weakly at the pile of documents and photo albums in front of her.
"He just remarried, why do I keep all the memories of him?"
Lidya did not answer, deliberately turned her back on her brother and pretended to be looking for something. His heart was so hurt when he saw Haziya's sad face since half a year. The blue sky, which was often his shady place, turned dark without a moon. The butterfly in his eye had died sucking the poison in the thorn stalk.
It feels like just yesterday they celebrated one year of marriage. The happy laughter had faded and scalded in tears. Now, time seems to be running slowly. Trying to forget, in fact every memory is still so clearly etched in the memory even though it has been erased.
There were no goodbyes, let alone the word divorce that Shabir had spoken for her, but the man so easily ruined his blue sky. The man who once warmed her with affection was willing to share blankets for other bodies. In fact, Shabir married a widow with two children and now makes him a lonely widow.
"Okay, let me take it to the backyard." Lidya stuffed Shabir's related items into a box, then she immediately headed to the back of the kitchen to burn them all.
Haziya was unable to see all of her with Shabir being black dust devoured by the fire. He chose to stay in his room. While both parents were not at home, Haziya ordered Lidya to destroy it immediately before father and mother came home.
"Where are you going brother?" Lidya asked surprised when she saw Haziya coming out of the room. Lidya just finished burning all the memories.
"Just a moment, later when mom comes home just tell me you want to go to Miska's house." Lidya couldn't stop herself, she couldn't bear to see the gloom on Haziya's face. Maybe often playing with friends can drive away the clouds a little. The rain that had been in Haziya's eyes for so long had subsided, the bags under her eyes were getting worse. Although Haziya often forces a smile in front of her family, as a younger sibling she can share the bitterness in Haziya's life.
Being a widow at a young age is not something to be proud of. Lots of ridicule from neighbors. The wound left by her husband plus the insults from people's scorn, made Haziya lose her zest for life. However, the support from his family and friends has been an encouragement that has colored his blurry days.
This is the fate that she must live, not her will to become a widow. Haziya had tried to keep their marriage alive. However, what was planned and dreamed of was not as beautiful as expected.
Haziya prefers to separate from Shabir than to be polygamous, to be a wife who is neglected after Shabir marries another woman who already has a child.
Haziya will soon take care of their divorce papers, she will ask her husband's Faskh. Waiting for the man to say talak was futile, because several times Shabir said he would not divorce him. Meanwhile, now Shabir has recited the sacred promise again with another woman's name.
"Where are you going, Ziya?" Neighbors asked questions when Haziya was about to start the motorcycle.
"To a friend's house, Wak," answered Haziya politely, although she often found Wak Halim and her friends gossiping about themselves on the terrace of the chocolate house, Haziya tried to act as usual, pretending not to know anything.
"His friend has a perforated widow, doesn't he?"
"What, Wak?" Haziya asked again because her hearing wasn't very clear after wearing the helmet.
"Do you have a perforated widow at your friend's house?" shouted Wak Halim's friend, interspersed with laughter.
"They say a pot costs up to a hundred million per hole, you know. One leaf costs fifteen million, who knows your friend has one, just ask for a leaf."
"Isn't it crazy, the price of a perforated widow is so expensive, let alone the price of a widow now?"
"Oh, flowers huh, Wak? I'll try to see later, but it looks like he doesn't have flowers at home because they like to raise fish," explained Haziya, remaining calm, not wanting to be disturbed by the sarcasm of her neighbors.
"It's okay, Sis, just go, it's going to rain and thunder again, I'm afraid Brother will be hit by the thunder of doom!" Lidya shouted at the door, the mothers suddenly fell silent.
"Oh yes, Sis, if there is a neighbor's tongue flower, you don't have to take it home, no one will buy it, it's not worth it, it's better to give it to the nirvana fish," continued Lidya, deliberately heating Wak Halim and his friends.
"Don't forget to pick up the clothesline, sis. Brother go first, assalammualaikum," said Haziya, immediately driving the motorbike.
"Waalaikumsalam, be careful, Sis."
"I wait for you in a roar, like waves hugging a rock, patient with dew to warm the morning and faithful to dusk in orange."Haziya was full of emotion holding the tespack, her eyes turned to the ocean, tears rolled down her cheeks and the veil she was wearing. He was so impatient after coming home from the pharmacy to buy a pregnancy test, he went straight to the bathroom after placing the bag carelessly on the bed."Alhamdulillah, O Allah, I have waited this long." His knees were weak, his body was shaking from the joy of getting answers to his prayers for almost a year. Allah has granted the groaning in the third of the night.Haziya couldn't stop smiling looking at the two red lines. Her husband must also be very happy to hear this happy news.Crack!The door was pushed from outside. Haziya flinched from her seat, then stood up when the figure of her husband appeared."Bro, I....""Why haven't you cooked yet? Th
"The rain that once visited is starting to subside. The flowers of love that you spring, are starting to bloom. I hope your love never fades."Haziya could no longer hold the waves in her chest, since the roar had been pounding. Her lower abdomen was smeared with gel by the nurse, followed by the doctor attaching the ultrasound transducer until her eyes were wet when she saw the screen in the upper corner of the wall. Although it's still not clear, even there is only a small circle, he himself doesn't know what it is if the doctor doesn't explain immediately."This small circle like a bean is called an embryo, Mom. It's still very small because you're only four weeks pregnant. Before that, congratulations, you're pregnant." Haziya replied to the doctor's words with a smile, she was still so touched by the sight in front of her, Shabir replaced it with words."Thank you, sir. This is our first child after waiting. Alhamdulillah."Haziya sobbed silently, ho
"From him I learned to love in tears, slowly letting go even though I don't know how to be patient when the sky falls again destroying hope and intention."Dersik caressed Haziya's face, when his foot stepped on the first floor of the granite mosque after climbing the stairs, he immediately felt cool and calm. The wind rustled from the gap in the glass window, getting into the mosque which has two floors, the calming air was felt.The blue-domed mosque called Masjid At Taqarrub is never quiet, it is located in a busy shopping area visited by worshipers who want to pray and the children appear to be on the right side of the mosque. They are studying regularly every afternoon. In addition to providing Early Childhood Education, the mosque which was formerly known as the Phep Mosque also has library facilities, the Bilal room, the Imam's room and meeting rooms, as well as the secretariat office. The wuzu places for women and men are also separated.Haziya imm
"A woman can be strong while smiling even though her heart is shaking with hidden bitter sobs. The shoulder support makes her strong, listen to her complaints and provide comfort so that her grief does not widen.""Bro, I'm scared!" whispered Haziya as she was about to be taken to the operating room for curettage. Although the doctor who treated her has explained repeatedly, the curettage process will only take a few minutes and Haziya will be given an IV so that she will not feel any pain. However, he was still shrouded in fear. Plus the emotional grief of accepting the fact that he had to lose the baby he was waiting for to be born into the world in the next few months. Before they even know the sex of the fetus."Read the prayer, dear. Brother, Mak and father outside will continue to pray for you too. Don't worry, God willing, everything will be smooth and easy."Shabir grabbed Haziya's hand, gently stroked her shoulder and kissed her head before pushin
"Don't expect more from humans. Hug your wounds with prayer. Cleanse your soul from grudges. Let go of all circumstances and leave everything to the Owner of All Nature."Bang, Brother where are you going? This dish is ready, Brother, just eat first," Haziya interrupted when she saw Shabir about to hold the doorknob."Brother to mom's house, Brother Lathif said to cook pliek sauce. Brother eat there. Don't forget to lock the door," said Shabir, then pulled the algae and went out to the front yard. He immediately rode the motorbike, leaving a roar that was getting further away and left Haziya standing cold on the terrace watching her husband leave for the umpteenth time.Haziya may not be good at cooking, but she continues to learn how to cook properly. Record recipes from mom, also watch cooking tutorials from YouTube so Shabir can eat healthy food at home. However, her struggles are always to prepare dishes, not to mention getting praise from Shabir, even her h
"I've fallen many times, and when I rise among the stars, a ray of hope illuminates. Even though the sky is dark, doesn't my dream have a chance to come true?"Before he got married, his dream was to teach at an elementary school where Haziya came from to study. However, her plans don't go as planned when her ex-husband forbids her to work. Moving to the in-laws' village, making the distance back and forth took almost an hour. Shabir is worried that he cannot divide the time. Pursuing her husband's pleasure, Haziya complied.Now, after the two of them separated. There was no income from Shabir since his return to his mother's house, so Haziya had to rack her brains to find a job. Even though both parents said they were still able to pay for their needs, Haziya didn't want to burden them at the age of almost twenty-five. He wanted to help ease their lives."Oh, it's almost late!" Haziya immediately got up from the chair, enjoying reading a story about herself wri
Haziya doesn't like being at the same table with Zaweel, after all she's been married before so her status is still hanging because the court hasn't decided yet. Shabir was not present at the first divorce hearing, delaying the trial again."Where do you want to go already?""It's none of your business, you don't have to ask to come. Remember, you're here to work, not to find prey."Zaweel laughed like a possessed person. "Who do I work for? Yes, for my wife and children later. Just give your blessing to Ziya, how about it?""Bang, do you want me to plug your eyes with a fork?""Oh my goodness!" Zaweel stood up, leaving them with an echo of laughter."See, right, tiktok kid is stray." Miska finished the rice on her plate, since last night she was made dizzy by Zaweel's behavior."Please come in passengers, I will take you anywhere except to your ex's house," Zaweel greeted when the car door opened from behind. Both Miska and Haziya lo
"Bang Shabir, I..."Haziya backed away spontaneously as Shabir stepped forward. Her body was locked by Shabir's strong arms, their faces so close."Bang, don't be like this, it's not good for people to see. This is a women's toilet," Haziya scolded hoping Shabir would distance himself, but the man brought his face closer."Don't act holy, I've enjoyed it too. Why can he be with you, while I can't be your husband, huh?!" Shabir's emotions punched the wall to the left of Haziya's face."Bang, control your anger, brother," asked Haziya half hoarsely holding back tears, the events of that hot night re-imagined. She was afraid that Shabir would get out of control and slapped him a second time."We're also not husband and wife anymore, Bang. I've already proposed--""No, I will never divorce you. You can be happy to be free with that man, never."Haziya recited a silent prayer, hoping that someone would save her from Shabir's disturbance.