CHAPTER FIVE

“Can anyone tell me the moon’s phases?” Professor Towles’s eyes land on me, and I tense up. “Winter?”

I gulp. “Um… there’s the full moon and… uh, the crescent?”

At the desk next to mine, a girl’s hand shoots up. She was with Gregory at lunch and, like most of the students here, she’s cast me a lot of sidelong looks but hasn’t said anything to me yet.

Professor Towles picks up a piece of chalk and nods at the girl. “Yes?”

“There’s New Moon, Waxing Crescent, First Quarter, Waxing Gibbous, Full Moon, Waning Gibbous, Last Quarter, and Waning Crescent.”

Professor Towles writes them all on the chalkboard, her hand quickly moving across the green. “Very good.”

I flip open my notebook and scribble the phases down. If I don’t survive socially at Hawthorn, maybe I can get ahead when it comes to academics. My grades were pretty good back home but it takes more than “good” to impress college admissions.

So far, I don’t know half of what’s been mentioned in Astronomy. I might be hanging on by my fingertips but hey, at least I’m trying.

The bell rings, and Professor Towles wipes her hands against each other to remove the chalk. “Read pages sixty-two to seventy-five tonight.” She grins. “And don’t forget to stop and look up at the moon. Pay her your respects.”

Half of the class has already left the room, but I cock my head at the last piece. This teacher is pretty cool, and not just because of the red streaks in her hair or her nose piercing.

“Winter.” Professor Towles leans against the front of her desk. “Stay back a minute, will you?”

“Sure.” I linger at my desk as the last few students pass me by. It’s not until the door has banged shut behind the last person that Professor Towles speaks.

“I’m sorry if I put you on the spot with my question.”

“Oh. No.” I shake my head. “Not at all. It’s cool.”

Her arms are crossed but she looks relaxed leaning against the desk, like she has all the time in the world. “How is your first day going?”

“It’s…” I suck in a breath but can’t find the answer.

The truth is, more than anything else, I’m surviving. If I am having a horrible time, I know, I’m not letting myself fully feel it. It’s been like that ever since my dad’s funeral. Sure, I’ve been shattered, but the world keeps spinning. I still have to get up and brush my teeth, dress myself. Put one foot in front of the other.

If I were to truly let myself feel everything, there’s a good chance I would shatter into a million pieces. And who would be there to put me back together? No one, that’s who. My friends are a thousand miles away and all of my family is dead. I don’t have the luxury of falling apart.

“Good.” I smile at her. “Really good.”

Her eyes narrow. She’s not buying it. “It’s hard picking up and starting at a new school. My first day at Hawthorn I was terrified.”

“Yeah.” My gaze drops to my sneakers. “It’ll be okay. I just don’t understand why my dad sent me here. He never mentioned this place before he died.”

“He had his reasons.”

The way she says it–so assured–makes me look up. Almost as if she’s trying to avoid my gaze, Professor Towles goes around her desk to take her seat.

Did she know my dad?

No. That wouldn’t make sense. He went to high school in New York.

“We had everything planned out.” I blow out a breath. “We had a house, friends… I was going to go to college in state and come home to visit every weekend.”

“Maybe he thought that, in his absence, you would be less alone here.”

I can’t help my disbelieving sputter. “So far, that’s not the case.”

I cringe, feeling like I just disrespected a teacher. “I’m sorry.”

She waves her hand. “It’s okay. Give it some time, yeah? You might just find you blink and suddenly opportunities open up for you.” She stands, and it’s my cue to go.

“Thanks,” I mumble, walking backwards.

She winks. “Remember, page sixty-two.”

“Got it. See you.” I wave and slip into the hallway, which teems with students.

Keeping close to the wall, I take a turn down a side hallway. It’s quieter here, the hubbub from the main hall turning into a distant hum. Dropping my backpack from my tired shoulders, I sink into a bench in a little alcove. With curtains framing the recess, I’m tucked away into my own little spot, far away from the chaos.

Pulling out my Astronomy textbook, I find page sixty-two. The Moon, Lycans, and Werewolves.

“What?” I chuckle at the heading. O-kay. I didn’t know Astronomy would come with a serving of mythology, but I’m down for it. English is my favorite class, after all.

“She’s in my Chemistry class,” a girl’s voice says from somewhere in the hall.

“What’s she like?” another girl asks.

“Quiet. I don’t know. She doesn’t seem like anything special.” Her voice grows louder. They’re about to walk right past me. “I mean, she’s only been here one day. Who knows?”

I stiffen. I had Chemistry this morning. Are they… are they talking about me?

“Professor Towles kept her back to talk to her,” the other girl says. “I wonder if it was about her dad.”

I hold my breath, waiting for them to appear on my side of the curtain and for us all to enjoy a group moment of discomfort. Instead, they stop right before reaching the alcove.

“What do you think will happen during The Selection?” one of them asks. There’s the sound of someone rooting around in a bag. “Darn. I can’t find my lip balm.”

“She’ll be torn to pieces.” The other girl chuckles, and suddenly I feel like I’ve been dunked in ice water. I literally can’t take it anymore.

Standing, I step around the curtain. “What happens at The Selection?”

The girls, both of whom I recognize from my classes, stare at me with dropped jaws.

“Uh…” The one with her hand in her bag looks to the side, like she’s searching for an escape route.

“Everyone keeps talking about it–” I try to keep my voice calm “--but no one will tell me what it is.”

“Did you hear us talking?” The first girl cringes.

“I don’t care about what you said.” Except… “Why did you say Professor Towles might have talked to me about my dad?”

The girls exchange a look that I can’t read. I open my mouth to ask again but a bell cuts me off. This one’s longer than all the ones before it, its high pitch piercing my skull.

The second girl nods at me. “You can find out all about The Selection now. It’s starting in ten minutes.”