I wake up from my post-sex nap. Aiden is still here, holding me. We turn to look at each other. I roll over and lie on his chest. I start kissing him over and over. I don't want this moment with him to end. It's as if I'm trying to make up for the lost time and apologize for my actions. He rolls over and finds himself on top of me again. I admit I'm a confusing girl. But this feeling I have with Aiden is fire. My fire for Zander has gone out, and I know he lied to me. Perhaps I'm horrible for having sex with Aiden now. My parents still haven't come home from work. I'm lucky not to have been caught. "Aiden, can we go to the ballet studio now? I really do need to get this note and x-ray over to Madame." "Sure, give me two more minutes. I want to look at your forever." He looks at my lips and kisses me slowly again. We aren't rushing to leave as I had hoped. Aiden puts himself inside me again as we start having sex a second time. "I love you, Ash. I know you might be confused right
I wake up to the sounds of a crackling fire. It's 4 am, and Aiden is still half-naked and lying next to me. We've had so much sex these last three days, I'm almost convinced Zander and I broke up. But the truth is we aren't. I'm the worst kind of terrible for it. I never wanted to be a cheater. But what am I supposed to do when Aiden loves me and Zander....wanted sex? I go into the kitchen and look around for anything resembling breakfast food. Instead, I find eggs and bacon. Protein it is, then. Clearly, a man went shopping. The only thing I find remotely similar to juice is lemonade. Good enough for me. Aiden wakes up and squints his eyes. He sniffs around the room, wondering why it smells like meat. A true hunter-gatherer if I ever saw one. He's a caveman at heart. "Are you cooking for me?" "Obviously!" "I knew you were perfect, but this is unexpected." He comes over with his shirt off and shorts on. He has the 'I just had sex' smirk on his face. He waltzes about the cabin, f
Aiden and I get ready to leave the cabin. I put my clothes back on to avoid suspicion from my parents. I'm already going to be in trouble with Zander. I don't need to get my parents mixed up in this drama. At least not today. Aiden gets in the car. He puts his sunglasses on. He is wearing his letterman jacket. The name Buckland is in black bold letters on his back. I wonder if that last name means anything to him now that the cat's out of the bag. I can't worry about that now. I'm a nervous Nellie. It's ridiculous, really. But this is Zander we're talking about. The man I shared my first bed with. Did it mean something, right? Did any of it mean anything? Have I just thrown something special away? Aiden parks in the Hogan's driveway. I get out like an embarrassed deer. Brittany and Stephanie open the door. "Hi, Ashley, why are you with Aiden? You're mom called, and I covered for you. I told her you were asleep. Were you with Aiden all night?" Steph asks. "Yes, I was. That's not i
A week has passed since I broke up with Zander. Aiden and I are in a new relationship, one I intend to keep. Christmas break is almost here, and with it, the opening of the Nutcracker ballet. I know I'm ready. I have studied and have practiced more and more with Madame. My mother has even attended a few of my last minute one on one sessions. She praised me for my comeback. I know it's a small comeback that a seven-year-old could perform...but for someone with an injury, a comeback has so much meaning. I was told I would never dance again that the tumor in my ankle was too vicious to even dance upon. Well, during Christmas break, I will prove them all wrong during my final performance as a ballet dancer. I have other passions now. Thanks to Aiden and art, I have a desire to pursue more things with my whole heart. Madame has heard about my ballet paintings and has agreed to let me sit in the back of the studio to paint her students in action. She plans to decorate the entire ballet s
"Why is there a dead raccoon on the couch?" Brittany gasps."My dad just shot it before you walked in. And it's about time too. These damn trash pandas have been living in our attic for a month now. We called animal control, but no one's come over yet. So we had to take matters into our own hands," I say."Well, that's disgusting. I can't even look at you with that...thing lying there. Can we go into another room, at least?" Brittany Hogan, my best friend, she's the girliest girl I have ever met. Then there's me, Ashley Tudor, the tomboy. I ride dirt bikes, climb mountains, and read graphic novels. I'm the son my dad always wanted but never had."It's just a raccoon. Even Pocahontas from that Disney movie loves them.""Please, Ash? Can we not be here? That's the most fucking disgusting thing I've ever seen," Brittany complains."Yeah, sure, I was only teasing."Classic Brittany. Can't even take a joke."Are you coming to my birthday party this weekend?" Brittany asks."Don't you mean
"Brittany, I need to go home. I'm not feeling well," I lie. "Okay, well, see you tomorrow. We have a party to plan. And girls for you to keep away from Zander.""Bye, Brit."I leave Brittany's house. As I walk down the stairs, I see Zander sitting on the living room chair. The one where I just sat. "Are you going?" Zander asks."Yes, I'm not feeling well.""Can I walk you home?""Sure, " I hesitate. We both leave the house. Secretly I know Brittany would put me on trial for walking home with Zander. "Listen, Zander; you don't need to worry about me.""Well, someone needs to make sure you get home safely."We take a right, and I find myself on the secret path next to the garden again. Only this time, I'm alone with Zander. The boy I'm tasked with keeping all the girls away from. "Zander, why did you hold my hand?" I ask. "I don't know what you mean." "Never mind, forget it. Bye, Zander. I'm fine now. I'll take it from here, " I say. I walk away from Zander. Our hand-holding ear
I head home from the party. Pretending nothing happened. For the first time in my life, I feel girly in every sense of the word. Even in my tomboy make-up-less state, Zander called me beautiful and wanted to kiss me. This has never happened to me before. I want to tell Brittany all about my kiss and the chemistry Zander and I have. It's magic. It's fire. And it's a damn secret. A secret I can't share with anyone other than Zander himself. I lie in my bed and play that moment in my head over and over again. I go over every detail of our kiss. And I feel stupid. This is stupid. It's stupid to kiss. Kissing is for adults and people in love. And that's not me, not no way, not no how. I fall asleep.In the middle of the night, I hear the sound of chattering. It's the goddamn raccoons again. It must be nice to be a raccoon and steal people's shit.There's an asshole male lead raccoon. I call him Rocket. His beta male counterpart is Meeko. Naming raccoons after famous ones doesn't make me
School is a few weeks away. I haven't spoken with Zander or Brittany in a week. Instead, I've been helping my dad paint the house, rebuild his 1976 Corvette, and any other job my dad can come up with. "Are you okay, Ash?" Dad asks. "I guess so, " I say. "Well, it's summer, and as much as I enjoy spending time with you, you seem to be running away from something. Are you okay?" Dad asks."No, not really, " I confess. Crap, I didn't mean for that to slip out."Are you and Brittany fighting?" Dad asks."No, not exactly, " I admit."Are you and Zander okay? Did that boy do something to you?" Dad glares. "No, nothing. It's Zander we're talking about. As if...." I lie. "Well, that'd better be the case. You know how I feel about him, " Dad says. "Zander has a girlfriend anyway, " I say. "Oh, really? That boy is capable of being in a relationship?" Dad asks. "Not, really, dad. They make out a lot, " I reply. I think I've told my dad quite enough. "Well, dad, I think I'm gonna call,