I am staring at the ceiling thinking about my life. Definitely, I got bored from surfing in the internet and from watching tiktok videos.
" Kulang na naman tong boundry mo! " Nagising ako sa pag mumuni muni dahil sa sigaw ni lola. Araw-araw na lang ganito, paulit- ulit parang sirang plaka.
" Nag -boundry naman ako. Noong lunes lang naman ako hindi nakapag bigay dahil nga pina rehistro ko yung isang motor " Pag katapos ng sigaw narinig ko naman si Papa na sumagot.
" Wala akong pakialam! Umalis ka dito iwan mo yung motor! " lola said with so much anger. I heard her cursed and throw some of the kitchen utensils.
My heart is beating so fast as I experience this scenario once again. The feeling of loneliness and poverty. Sa bawat araw na dumadaan tila pinapa mukha sa akin, na MAHIRAP KA LANG. You don't deserve to live because of the lack of money. Worst is, if you cannot provide a money for a while people will ridicule you. Unfortunately, that people is your family. It sucks right?
Once again, I let my mind wander. Siguro bukas palalayasin na naman kami. Paano kali ako kikita? Makakayanan kaya namin? I'm just nineteen years old yet the eagerness to land a job is vehement.
" Kunin mo yung mga anak mo dito! " I heard lola shouted to Papa.
Sinasabi ko na nga ba mapapalayas na naman kami. So I started searching in the internet for online job. May nakita ako kaso puro related sa marketing. I sighed I don't have any idea about marketing because my course is Education. There are a lot of job opportunities I have seen but most of them requires a two to three years of experience. What do I expect?
I searched for more hoping that I could land a job today but who am I kidding? Napagod ako sa pag hahanap kaya naisipan kong I-chat si Maddy, my close friend.
Messenger
Athena: Hanap kali tayo trabaho? Bakasyon niyo na diba?
Maddy: uwu
A notification that pops up so I just seen her message too engrossed in wanting to land a part time job. I grimaced as I skim the job description and qualifications. What the heck is Copywriting? Apparently, the hope in my heart is gradually vanishing. May nag pop up ulit kaso sa f******k naman. I have seen one of my cousin's parents' post. Telling how proud they are about her. I feel the insecurity creeps in my bone twisting it. I closed the application and just lie on the bed.
Something crossed my mind, try ko kali yung Onlyfan sa tiktok? Ang dami ko na namang naiisip na kalokahan. However, my inner self is thinking about the good things OnlyFan can give to me.
I groaned. Nababaliw na ata ako sa sobrang kagustuhan kong yumaman pati pag patol sa matanda naisip ko.
" Ate "I heard my little small sister calling me. Lumingon ako sa kaniya at nakitang namumula ang kaniyang mga mata. Maybe out of fear about the drama that happened earlier. I stretched out my arms to her and she runs while crying. My heart clenched at the sight of this innocent child seeking for a mothers love. If I will choose between granting her a life or not? I will choose the latter. Maybe people will think I'm the worst for thinking that way. However, isn't it more ideal than living with this kind of life? At an early age, I witnessed a disease put an end to my mother's life. In her young mind and body, she tends to experience the cruelness of the world. She doesn't deserve this. Tears pooled in my eyes but I stopped it. Wala akong panahong umiyak dahil ako na lang ang mayroon siya. We may have a father but his priority is his girlfriend not us.
Unknowingly, my sister dozed off into deep slumber. I just let her and think about other job opportunities aside from selling my body.
After thinking about useless things I decided to go out. Maybe a fresh air can purify my sinful thoughts.
Tumawid ako sa pedestrian lane ng wala sa sarili. Sa totoo lang gusto ko ng mamatay. I am just kidding but the Almighty seems wanted to exhibit my morbid thought.
I heard a screech from a car na tila ba pwersahan na huminto. Para syempre hindi bumangga. Pag tingin ko ako pala yung dahilan I shrugged not minding what happened.
" Hey Miss! " I heard a man calling me as I walk away from the pedestrian lane. Bahala ka dyan Miss mo mukha mo. My eyes rolled ewan ko pero bigla akong nahiya para sa sarili ko.
" Miss! Hey wait- Miss! " he called.
But I never look back what for? Siya na ba binigay ng tadhana para iligtas ako sa kahirapan? Hindi ako naniniwala sa love story. I once dreamed that one day a prince charming will come and save me.
Pero ganon talaga no? Habang tumatanda ka nakikita mo ang realidad ng mundo. Walang prince charming, walang perfect love story because the men in the real world are all jerk and asshole.
Someone grabbed me and hold me still. He is panting hard maybe from sprinting all the way from the pedestrian lane up to where I am right now.
What a magnificent sight. Ang gwapo yun ang pinaka unang salita na pumasok sa utak ko. The man in front of me is qualified to be in a GQ model. In fact, he deserves to be patronize by all the women. From his stance you can declare that he's screaming money not to mention his manly scent that invaded my nostril. Sa matikas na tindig ipinirmi niya ako. Ramdam ko ang init sa paghawak niya sa aking balikat still panting. I have clothes on but why do I feel bare? He looked up and oh boy his eyes are the most tantalizing orbs I've ever seen. Pinag taasan ko siya ng kilay not knowing what to say.
" Are you okay? " he asked.
" Are you okay? " That was the first question he asked me.Okay nga ba ako? My eyes watered and it flows without any warning. Bakit nga ba sa tuwing tinatanong tayo kung okay lang ba tayo ay nakakaiyak. He's a stranger yet why he's so concern to my well-being compared to my family." Hey why are you crying? Are you hurt? " the man asked a little panicky. Tila isang malaking problema ang pag iyak ko. He started wiping my tears away from my eyes using a hanky. I want to laugh pa fa-fall rin si kuya e no? At first, I didn't seem comprehend his question but it resonated within my mind.Am I okay?Am I hurt? Definitely.Ang tanong na " okay ka lang ba? " ay nag papatunay na hindi ako okay. Kadalasan kaya natin tinatanong ang isang tao kung okay lang ba sila ay dahil may mali tayong nakikita. Maybe we observed that their bodies got thinner or their faces are void of delight. Its either you feel that they are stressed or you're aware about the
We both panted as we finished kissing. He leaned forward to my forehead as we breath hard. He stared at me like I'm the most beautiful woman on earth. I don't know but being with this man feels sureal.It's like a forbidden opportunity to even look at him." What's your name? " He asked still panting. His lips is swollen and reddish. I'd be a hypocrite if I say it's not tempting." Athena. You? " I asked while staring at the most gorgeous man I've ever seen. Humapa na pareho ang hingal naming dalawa.He stand straight and extend his hand to me. Pag papahiwatig ng kagustuhang mag pakilala. I noticed the veins protruding in his arm. Those tiny black hairs that rested on his arm. He looks formal and strict. Wealthy even but unlike those typical high profiled person, he seems kind I guess. He noticed that I am looking at his arm. So, I cleared my throat and looked away." Elijah Samaniego " he introduced confidently. Smirking I accept
Eh? San daw? Tama ba yung narinig ko? Kama? I'm too clouded with the thought of spending time with him to the point of foolishness. Ngayon ko lang naintidihan yung sinabi niya kanina. Is that how he perceived me? An easy to get woman just because I kissed him? Biglang kumulo ang ulo ko sa ideyang yun. " What the- " I can't even finish my sentence because he keeps dragging me. He really thinks I'm easy huh. " Wait! " I forcefully grab my hand from his hold. Grabe porket matangkad siya kaya kung mahatak wagas! Eh di ikaw na mahaba ang biyas! I screamed in my head. Akalain mong hihingalin ka lang dahil pa sa pag hatak niya. Imagine being dragged by a 6 footer. Sinong di hihingalin don? He gave me the why-did-you-stop look. Aba! Siya pa ngayon itong confused. Maybe he's just pretending or masking his true intention. The kiss earlier probably gave him the idea how willing I am to become his bed warmer. Well he's wrong but my inner self castigate me.
Bago pa ako makapasok ay nag salita na siya." So this is it? " He looked hurt. Does he really hurt? Maybe this is how I want to remember him. Pained because we will never see each other again. Unless, we'll set a time and place to meet each other. Which is impossible.Tanga ka ba Athena? I asked myself a stupid question." Anong so this is it? " I asked innocently trying to mask the pain.Pretending that I don't have any idea about what he's talking about." You're pushing me away. Like you're ending something between us. Kahit wala naman talaga " he chuckled sarcastically parang hindi rin makapaniwala. I don't know but the words he said stabbed my heart. Oh right, he's just a man who almost hit me by his car. Nothing more. I smiled bitterly at the thought." Yeah- you're right " he continue speaking while nodding as if he's convincing himself." You're just the girl I met earlier. Nothing more " sabi niya na nag pasikip ng dibdib ko. There
I woke up late because of Elijah's friend request. I mean what the heck right? I don't even remember telling him about my fb account. Who's he? A stalker or what? Maybe he's a hacker from FBI agency! Okay you're being stupid again Athena.I groaned please stop thinking about him Athena. Just think about your own problem. Baka mamaya mapalayas na kami kapag hindi pa ako tumayo. So I got up from my bed and stretch my hands upward. I inhaled and exhaled after repeating that ten times I look at the door. Behind that door lies my demon named lola. You can't blame me from calling her that alright? I love her of course but not enough to suck her attitude. Siguro kung anghel ako kaya kong maging mabait kaso tao ako.Okay here we go. As soon as I opened my door." Mabuti naman nagising ka na! " Lola said angrily.Well good morning to you too lola I greeted her in my mind. At least she said good morning right? That's better I guess compare to just ignoring me
We both don't know what to say after that passionate kiss. Maybe for anyone who will witness such scandalous scene may think that we are just driven by lust. We're just too horny that's why we can't stop our raging hormones. Well even I will conclude the same way. After all we're just human beings who happen to be judgementals. But it speaks something different for me. His kisses makes me feel wanted and loved. For someone so broken and lost I feel the Almighty granted me what I wanted all these years.A safe haven.A comforter.A salvation.The beginning of serendipity in my life seeps in through my parched soul. It's overwhelming yet as the hope arises fear also creeps in.Dahil lahat ng nag uumpisa ng mabilis at madali ay madali ring baliin at alisin. It's funny to think that even those people who waited for such a long time for someone they love. Ended up with the same situation like those who just waited for months. T
Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala. Kaya pala nag tataka ako kung bakit alam niya yung school na pinapasukan ko. I never even mentioned to him anything about my University. While we're on the road going to the school I cannot remember if I gave him any direction. Maybe because my mind was still clouded by his wet kisses.Ang landi landi kase! I rolled my eyes inwardly. Duh! Sinong hindi magiging wanton mami sa gwapong nilalang na to?" Do you have any problem Ms. Delos Reyes?" his voice took me back to my reverie. Ngayon ko lang napansin na lahat pala sila ay naka abang sa sasabihin ko. Now I have a full view of his body. Ngayon ko lang napansin na nag palit siya ng damit. Kaninang umaga naka black t shirt lang siya. Now he's wearing a navy blue dress shirt and a pair of black slacks with a designer belt. I clicked my tongue inwardly mayabang din to eh. Like duh? This is a public school gusto niya bang manakawan? Showing off such expensive things will only attract thi
After Bobble left I don't know what am I supposed to do. Should I shout at his face and tell how jerk he was earlier? Should I punch his gut to let him know how pissed I am? I groaned inwardly because even though I am pissed inside I still adore him." Hey " he said as he walk towards to where I am standing. My feet seems rooted at the floor so I just wait for him until I can see his shoes in my peripheral view.I looked at him as if I wanted to click his neck. Mukhang nagulat siya roon kaya bahagyang napaatras at tinaas ang dalawang kamay. Pag papahiwatig ng pag suko kahit wala naman akong sinasabi." What do you need Sir? " I asked sarcastically emphasizing the title. He looks offended but I don't care about it. Bakit kanina parang wala naman siyang pakialam sakin? He even punished and made me answer some stupid mathematical problems!" I'm sorry if I needed to do that " he looks so guilty. I don't want to look him in the eyes be