Kabanata 4

Warning: Slight R18 (Read at your own risk.)

Experience

"Xavier!" Mariing sigaw ko habang nakayakap sa kaniyang leeg. His face was buried on the crook of my neck. We were almost breathless as he pounded in me relentlessly.

Hindi ko alam kung ilang beses naming ginawa iyon sa kaniyang kama. I lost count of it, then he invited me to have a shower with him, ngunit ito na naman kami. I just found myself being fucked by him on his bathroom's wall. Pang-ilang beses na at hindi na ito dahil lasing ako. This is definitely because I wanted this too. I want him, alright.

"Oh, baby. Fuck. You're so tight." He traced my jaw with his kisses as he moved brutally inside me. Mahigpit akong nakayakap sa kaniyang batok sa takot na baka mahulog ako o dumausdos pababa.

"Oh, Drystan..." I moaned as I scratched his back with my long fingers. He groaned loudly with that. Another powerful thrust from him and we both came.

Hinihingal na napasandal ang aking noo sa kaniyang balikat. He kissed my shoulder as he made his way to the shower. He was still inside me. I can still feel him depositing his warm essence inside me. Marami pa rin siyang nailabas kahit na pang-ilang rounds na namin. Was he that horny for me?

Ibig sabihin ba niya ay gusto niya pang umisa? Napasimangot ako dahil doon. Pagod na ako. Gusto ko nang matulog. Wala ba siyang kapaguran?

"I'll bath you, babe."

"I want to sleep already. Ibaba mo na ako." Ani ko na kaagad din naman niyang ginawa. Hinaplos niya pa muna ang baywang ko bago ako tuluyang pinakawalan.

Sabay kaming naligo nang gabing iyon. I temporarily wore his shirt and his unused boxers bago kami natulog. Mahina akong nagpasalamat nang una akong magising. He was sleeping soundly with his arms around my waist and his face on my neck. It was already 7 when I woke up. Dahan-dahan kong inalis ang braso niyang mahigpit na nakapulupot sa aking baywang. Umungot pa siya noong una at kumunot ang noo kaya kaagad kong ipinalit ang aking unan na kaagad naman niyang niyakap. Hinalikan niya pa iyon at muling humimbing ang tulog.

Napahinga ako ng malalim bago dumiretso sa banyo.

***

"Ako lang ba ang nakakapansin o talagang... blooming ka ngayon? You're shining today, Zari. Iba ang glow mo." Si Hiraya na kumindat pa sa akin. I frowned at her before looking away. I don't want to look guilty, pero alam ko namang halata. Lalo na at iika-ika akong maglakad ngayon dahil sa... ginawa ko kagabi.

"May nangyari ano?" She asked giddily. Excitement was written on her face. "At iniwan mo?"

I bit my lower lip and shook my head. Hindi ako sumagot. Ayaw kong sumagot. Naghahanap pa rin ako ng sagot ngayon kung bakit ko iyon nagawa. I mean, I thought I hate him, but why did I let him touch me? Kiss me? I even let him fuck me like a whore last night. That was so... not me. That was so out of character. Hindi ko na alam kung paano pa haharapin si Xavier nang hindi nakakaramdam ng hiya.

But on the other hand, how sure am I that it's affecting him like how it affected me? I bet he doesn't care about what happened at all. I scoffed bitterly. Bakit ko nga ba pino-problema iyon? This is what he wants from me, obviously. And now that I already cave in to him, most probably he won't chase me like a smitten dog now. Maghahanap na naman siguro siya ng ibang bibiktimahin niya.

That fucking playboy. How could I even forget about his reputation as a playboy? He's a Consunji. Lahat ng mga lalaking Consunji ay talagang matitinik sa mga babae. At putangina, isa pa ako sa nadali.

I tried to forget about the asshole and what we did last night. I focused on the photoshoot instead. Still under Damon's contract. Ngayon ay nasa beach ang photoshoot kaya lahat ng mga modelo ay nakasuot ng swimsuit at ang mga lalaki naman ay tanging swimming trunks lang ang suot.

I was wearing a black monokini that complimented my paperwhite and my shape. Lantad na lantad ang magkabilang baywang ko. I was thankful enough that my makeup artist was able to cover the marks and hickeys that Xavier left on my body. Noong una ay nagtataka 'yong makeup artist kong si Lyn. Akala niya ay may sakit ako o kung ano kaya nag-panic pa, pero noong sinabi kong hickeys nga iyon ay kaagad namang nahiya. We were both shy actually. Nahihiya ako sa kaniya at kailangan niya pang makita lahat ng iyon.

Kaagad naman ding natapos 'yung turn ko kaya nagpunta na muna ako sa sun lounger upang magpahinga. I was watching the photoshoot that's happening not so far to where I am nang bigla nalang may humarang sa tanawin kong iyon. My face immediately contorted into a frown as I looked up, so ready to curse whoever the person is, but when I saw Xavier... parang naputulan yata ako ng dila at hindi na nagsalita. Lyn, my makeup artist, who was beside me the whole time shifted on her seat uncomfortably.

I sighed.

"Move, Consunji. Huwag kang bastos." Malamig na saad ko, hindi ininda ang kabang namumuo sa aking dibdib.

"You left me on my fucking bed alone, Zaria. Really? After you writhe in pleasure under me? After you used my body? Sino sa atin ngayon ang bastos?" Galit nitong saad sa akin habang umiigting ang panga.

My jaw dropped, the same time that my eyes almost pop out of it's socket. Napakurap ako ng ilang beses at napalingon kay Lyn na parang sinisilihan ang pwet at hindi mapakali. Namumula pa ang pisngi at maging ang tainga nito.

Napapikit ako ng mariin at napasinghap bago padarag na tumayo at naglakad pabalik sa hotel.

I can't fucking believe him! Sinabi niya talaga ang bagay na iyon sa harap ng makeup artist ko! What the fuck is wrong with this man?!

"What the fuck are you wearing, Zaria Ismene?! What the fuck! Your butt is fucking showing! What the hell! Your waist too?! Babe, damn it! Your bikini is too offending!" Galit na saad nito habang sumusunod sa akin. Bago pa man ako makapagsalita ay kaagad na ako nitong nahawakan sa kamay at hinarap sa kaniya.

I gritted my teeth and glared at him. "Pwede ba, Xavier! Stop acting like a possessive boyfriend because—"

"Then what am I, Zaria?! What the fuck am I for you?! Your whore?! Then be fucking it! I'll be your whore! Just don't fucking run away again and avoid me like a plague again!" Galit din na sigaw nito sa akin pabalik. Xavier Consunji's poise was completely stripped off now. His serious, quiet, and ruthless facade is nowhere to be found. He looked... frustrated and problematic.

Napalunok ako at napailing. No. I won't fool for this. He's a playboy. I know his reputation with girls, and I know that he's no different with my sperm donor. Lantaran lang siya kung makapang-babae, habang pa-sekreto naman and butihin kong ama noon.

I scoffed.

"Ano bang sinasabi mo diyan, Xavier?" I face him while crossing my arms. I tried so hard to act not affected with how I intense his stares was. Napalunok ako at pasimpleng suminghap. "Di ba iyon naman ang habol mo sa akin una pa lamang? That was your reason for chasing me, right? At ngayon na nakuha mo na ako, why don't you just go back to the life that you were used to? Iyong puro babae, huh? Huwag mo na akong intindihin. I was a virgin, but I am not holding you accountable for taking it. Pareho nating ginusto ang nangyari at hindi ko rin sinabing dapat akong panagutan."

His eyes turned darker as his face turned grim. Mas lalong umigting ang panga nito. Galit na galit siya at parang pinipigilan niya lang ang sarili na magsalita.

I gulped and stood straight. Tinitigan ko siya ng diretso sa mata kahit na ang totoo ay nanginginig na ang mga tuhod ko sa kaba. "Tigilan mo na ako. You got what you want, and I got the experience that I want too."

Experience. Heck, who am I even kidding? If he's really just my experience, then he would be the best experience I could ever have.