Thirty-One

“Why are there so many colors?” I ask Annie as we wander the isles of the toy shop. “Sizes, styles, I can understand. But colors?”

She laughs as she holds up a double ended jelly dildo and wiggles it at me, “because Ali, sometimes you just want to get railed by a purple dragon.”

She puts the dildo back on the shelf and I have to resist the urge to poke it, “not all of us fantasize about having sex with Barney.”

“Well, what do you fantasize about?” She asks. “We can go from there. Build you a sexy bag.”

“Oh.. umm,” I stutter as I try to think of something. “I don’t really.. do that.”

She gives me an incredulous look, “you don’t have any fantasies?” I shake my head slightly and she asks, “at all? Like, not even the most basic saved by a mafia boss one?”

“I’ve never really thought about it.”

“Ali,” she sighs. “Have you even read a good spicy book?”

“You mean porn?” I ask her over a row of glittery vibrators.

“Yes I mean porn!” She exclaims. “Good old fashioned porn! With some mons