Leo
I take a deep breath and stretch my arms over my head. My eyes feel heavy and all the sleep I have been avoiding is coming over me. I haven’t slept in three days; I had to work three nights in a row. And now I have test week.
The toll of three back to back 10 hour shifts after a full day of school and then another 8 hours taking care of my siblings is all taking a toll on me.
I yawn out loud and the people in the library look at me weird. I whisper sorry and go back to looking through my notes. I shake my head trying to wake myself up. I really need to get some rest.
I look up and Golden is standing in front of me. She looks at me and then at the people behind us. My heart starts racing, I take a deep breath and quickly look back at my notes. I hate that she has that effect on me, but come to think of it she has that effect on every guy in this whole school. She’s beautiful and popular. So she’s way out of my league but my heart doesn’t know that does it?
She places her bag on the table and pulls the chair out slowly. Or is it my sense of time that has slowed down?
I look back at her and she’s staring at me. I look away again.
“Hi” she whispers when she sits down.
“Hi” I whisper back and go back to going through my notes. All the tiredness I felt a minute ago gone. Now I am aware of everything. I can smell her sweet scent, I can feel her breath. And if I sneak a quick glance I see her cute concentration face.
How her brows drag together when she’s trying to figure out something, how her mouth opens slightly when she finally understands something. Especially when it’s a math problem.
I shake my head to get all these thoughts out. I shouldn’t be thinking about Golden the “it” girl who is dating the school “it” guy. I just need to concentrate on my studies and making sure that my siblings don’t starve to death.
Liking popular girls is out of the question.
We sit opposite each other in silence for what feels like forever.
“Shit” I hear her whisper and look up at her. She has a pencil in one hand and a broken pencil sharpener in the other.
I reach into my bag and take out a sharpener and hand it to her. She looks at me and smiles sweetly. My heart beats faster. She has an amazing smile, I’ve always seen her smile at other people never at me so it feels weird to have her direct it at me. I smile too, unable to resist. She has an infectious smile.
When she smiles her whole face lights up. Her eyes sparkle.
She stops smiling and cocks her head to the side as if she’s confused. I stop smiling confused too. I look back at my notes, I feel so conscious. Why am I smiling at Golden or am I overthinking all of this?
She sharpens her pencil and gives me the sharpener back. I can feel her eyes on me the whole time. I take a deep breath to calm my heart down but it doesn’t calm down. I feel her eyes on me, I look up and our eyes collide. I look away quickly. Why is she staring at me like that?
I need to get out of here, why am I feeling anxious all of a sudden? She looks away and sighs so deeply that the students sitting on the table behind her look back at her.
I slowly start packing my stuff and get out of the Library. When I get to the hallway, I’m thankful it’s empty, I take a moment to calm down.
Why am I freaking out from just sitting across her. Sure I think she’s beautiful and honestly, I might have a little crush on her but that was so dramatic.
I shake my head to clear it. I head to my next class. I need to get a grip.
“Hey Leo, you good?” My friend Zach says when I walk into my physics class. “ You look like you just saw a ghost man, you good?” he adds. He’s the only one in class, I should have come here after my math test, instead of the Library.
I sit on the desk next to his and nod yes to show him that I’m good.
“I’m just tired man” I say as an explanation so he doesn’t get worried about me. Zach knows all my secrets and that means he worries about me a little too much.
He knows what the situation is like at home with my mom, siblings, and everything.
I don’t want him to freak out over nothing. It’s just girl problems.
“You know you can tell me anything Bro, right?” he says tapping me on my back to let me know he’s here for me. I smile and tap him back to assure him I’m good. Although I doubt he’ll believe me.
“ I know Bro.” I tell him and he nods, deciding not to press the issue any further.
The class suddenly gets loud as all the other students walk in, in a loud raw of laughter. And of course, Cole is in the middle of the commotion. He always has to say something.
“Okay class please settle down, so we can begin with your test” Mr Ken says over everyone else. He’s a very short man but he’s loud.
The class gets quiet instantly, Mr Ken makes a gymnasium full of kids silent in one second.
Golden walks in as everyone takes a seat and Cole starts whistling. And the whole class starts applauding. She stops in her tracks surprised at what is happening.
“Isn’t my girl just gorgeous?” Cole says and stands up to pull a chair for her next to him.
“Okay, okay. Settle down” Mr Ken says and the class goes quiet again.
“You need to stop doing that,” Golden says to Cole when she finally sits down.
“But it’s true” Cole says and he has a huge smile on his face.
“Cole, I’m serious” she says softly.
She turns away from him and looks towards where I am. Our eyes collide again and we lock.
I give myself a small moment to really look at her. We look at each other for over a minute.
“Okay let’s get started” Mr Ken says and Golden looks away. I feel my heart get going again but this time it doesn’t feel like I am suffocating.
“Are you tired?” my little sister Mina asks me when I yawn for the 5th time in less than 2 minutes. I know this because she has been counting for me, out loud. I just picked her and my little brother up from school. Their school is a 15-minute bus ride from my school, I could walk but taking the bus means I get there faster and I will have more time before I have to go to work. And then the three of us have to walk home from their school. I’ve been doing this for the last six months and I can feel my body fighting me. But what other choice do I have? If I don’t work, my siblings and I can’t eat. And if I don’t take care of them no one will. My mother went missing again, she’s been missing for three months now, leaving me to take care of the three of us. Don’t ask me where she disappeared to because I don’t know. I learned to stop looking for her a long time ago. All I think about now is making sure that these two are safe, warm and fed. This is the life I know, she’s been disappea
I get home around 1 am in the morning. I walk to the babysitter's apartment. I know she’s asleep and she probably doesn’t mind keeping Mina and Jon over night but I would rather have them wake up with me than have to go get them from the babysitter in the morning. I knock at her door and wait. I knock again after a moment and I hear her walk to the door. She opens it and looks at me sleepily. “Hi Sophia sorry for waking you up” I say when she finally looks like she has her eyes focused on me. “No, don’t apologize. Come in” she says and lets me in. I get into her apartment and head to the bedroom I know the kids are sleeping. I get Jon out of bed first and then Sophia gets Mina for me. I thank her and head to our apartment with both of them in my arms. They’re so heavy but I’m too tired to make two trips to go get them. I use the last bit of strength I have to get them to bed. I quickly get all of us in bed, in the dark. I don’t want to turn on the lights or even think about taking
19:00 Mooikloof, Pretoria “Wow” Gina exclaims next to me when we get Amara’s house. The driveway is lined with large pink balloons. The front doorway is decorated with pink roses. The grass has been spray painted pink as well. It’s like someone came and dropped a large pink paint ball in her front yard. And it stained everything. I love it! I know I will never be able to convince my parents to throw me a birthday party like this. They love me but not this much. “Wow is right” I say when I we get out of the car. They even have valet. I hand my keys to the guy and he gives me a card. “I mean, I knew Amara’s parents were loaded but this is next level loaded.” Gina says looking around uncomfortable. She fiddles with her dress, trying to fix it. I feel her anxiety creeping toward me and I don’t like it. I feel off enough, I don’t need her emotions. “Why are you surprised? We’ve been here before.” I say confused by her reaction. She’s been to Amara’s house before, why does she look
Sundays are my self-care/ self love days. That means no boyfriends, no commitments and most definitely no best friends. It is a day all about me, for me; I take the day to do what I want to do. I do what makes me happy.That can be anything from taking a long nap, to getting my nails done or going people watching in the park.Today I am going on a solo picnic date. I have my grilled chicken and ham sandwiches packed, in my basket. I also have a nice fruit bowl situation going on. And to drink I have my mother’s famous pink lemonade, all I need is a nice strawberry shake for desert. I love strawberry shakes, I’m not too picky about where I get it, as long as it’s the flavor I like.I am driving to the nearest McDonald’s in my area. The picnic spot I want to go to is 44 minutes from Pretoria. And I don’t want to waste time driving around Pretoria. I am going to Bronkhorspruit Dam for my solo date, I’m so excited. It’
LeoI walk on the school property not really ready to get into the grind of the coming week. I am tired as usual, it’s a miracle I woke up this morning.. I get to the parking lot where all the popular kids hang out. Their car doors open and music blasting from their speakers. I know if I look straight ahead I’ll see Golden. She’s with her friends leaningZach’s words filter into my head uninvited. I look straight ahead and Golden is looking in my direction. I quickly look down my heart in my throat. I look behind me maybe there’s someone there, a bunch of 8th graders are leaning on a wall. But they are not looking in her direction, they are staring at a phone.I look back up at Golden and she’s still looking at me. I look away and take deep breaths. Was she looking at me? Why would she be looking at me? Am I tripping?I need to get my head straight there’s no way in hell Gol
Golden “What was that all about?” Amara asks, me when I walk back to them. “Nothing” I say hoping she’ll let it go. “That didn’t look like nothing” She says looking at Leo and his friends. She has this disgusted look on her face. She always makes that face when she feels someone is beneath her as if she has the authority that decides who is worthy. It’s been like this since eighth grade. She would pick on the less fortunate kids because she was born rich. The older we get the older her attitude gets. Or am I getting old? I’m realizing I have less tolerance for her nasty side with each passing day. “This is about me and I say it’s nothing. Will you let it go please.” I say looking at her straight in the her eyes so she knows I’m serious. “Well, I’m just looking out for you. I don’t think Cole would like it if he saw you talking to boys like that.” She says pointing to Zach. I feel myself getting angry all over again why should Cole decide who I talk to? He’s not my keeper. “Let
I watch Mina walk toward us her interest peaked. Her eyes are focused on Golden; she walks next to me and looks at me for a long time. As if she’s asking me what the hell bro? She sits down next to me and looks at Golden for even longer. I can see her little mind working over time. I open my mouth to say something but she beats me to it. “Who are you?” she asks Golden still looking at her intently. “I’m Golden.” Golden says extending her hand to Mina. My little sister looks at her hand and then she looks at me. I smile and she looks back at Golden’s offered hand. She looks Golden in the eyes and then finally decides to accept her hand shake. “I’m Mina.” She says. “Nice to meet you.” Golden says looking unfazed. “How do you know my brother?” Mina asks still curious. “We go to the same school.” Golden says looking intently at Mina. I guess she’s not backing down. “Okay” Mina says and then turns to me. “I’m going back to play.” She declares, she waits for me to nod and then she’
Golden I’m sitting with Cole and his friends at a park; we’re just lying around doing nothing really. Everyone is listening to one of Cole’s stories. He’s the center of attention, where he likes to be. Everyone is so engrossed in whatever he’s saying not really contributing anything. I have nothing against him being in the center, it’s just that it’s gotten so old. This is all we do, sit and listen. I tune out thinking about where I really want to be. It’s been about a month since I spent time with Leo and his crew. I wish we could hang out with his siblings and Zach again. Mina and Jon are barely old enough to spell their names but they have more fun than this lot. There really is magic in being a child, maybe that’s why I’m drawn to Zach. He has this fun free spirited, child like quality about him. He doesn’t mind being dumb. Why do I want to spend time with Leo? He seems so mature. I like he doesn’t feel the need to speak just because. He’s comfortable with silence; we live in