It’s like every time I think I might be able to manage to keep it together around Delilah, the universe, as Americans say, says, ‘Hold my beer’ and finds a new way to screw with me. Given what I had seen on the security footage, I'd been holding it together well. I’d even been hopeful that while I may still need time to handle in-person interactions with Delilah, we could at least talk on the phone as we used to, or somewhat like we used to. Then it all came crashing down. Delilah brought up Cesare, and it was like the rug was yanked out from under me, and I fell into the abyss of darkness. I know Delilah didn’t bring him up intentionally. From how she phrased the question, she not only doesn’t know that Lia had a boy, but she doesn’t know if Lia kept him. On the latter, we are in the same boat. After Cesare was born and I knew he couldn’t be mine, I didn’t want to know anything. I let André handle everything after that. He was the go-between and only told me what he thought was most

I worried about how he’d react to me kissing him. I didn’t want to be someone that violated his boundaries like that. And while Lucius had kissed back, it wasn’t the same. I had been ready to give up, assuming a kiss wasn’t enough to shock Alexander from his PTSD episode. Then to my surprise and delight, the kiss changed, and I knew it was Alexander kissing me. It was perfect, especially when he pulled me closer. I didn’t want it to end, but karma is a thing. So when André burst in with everyone, I could only blame karma. Persephone received karma for all the times she interrupted Crista and Alec. And now I’m getting karma because I was the one that gave Persephone karma. Or maybe it’s also Alexander’s karma. I’m not sure. I know I was annoyed that we got interrupted. I didn’t have to say anything because Isadora did enough on our behalf. Which was good because I was too embarrassed at them walking in on me in Alexander’s lap. Of course, my embarrassment quickly faded when we were in

I considered pointing out that Alexander could have borrowed clothes from Darren. After all, Darren and André have shared clothes in the past, which meant Alexander would fit in Darren’s clothes too. Plus, Darren’s wardrobe would be less… well, less André. Yet, I didn’t say anything since he seemed set to borrow clothes from André. Who was I to argue with what he was comfortable with? Especially with results like this. I recognized the shirt. I’ve seen André wear it when he is expected to be more business-like and less loud in his wardrobe. André may never want to hear this, but it looked better on Alexander. The blue always made André’s eyes and especially the blue streak in his hair more prominent. However, it does the same for Alexander’s blue eyes and goes well with his blonde hair. The fitted cut highlighted Alexander’s muscles. And I will never complain about that. I rather enjoy Alexander’s physique. I would and should complain about him calling me out about checking him out.

I’m not going to lie to you. I felt satisfied watching Alexander break Liar’s nose as he stood up for me and claimed me as his. We know we are mates, and a few people know that fact. And while we’ve indirectly acknowledged we are mates, this was different. This was him claiming me to someone outside the family. It was more than just claiming me as his mate. He made it clear that we had a future. He wouldn’t have called me the next Beta female if he didn’t believe we could and would make this work. And that indirect affirmation made my heart swell with joy. I was confused by how he left paternity and, in general, the background of my condition so ambiguous. I mean, he was accurate that I carry the future leaders of Madonie. They are the Alpha heirs. But he didn’t specify that, and I could only assume he did that to ensure she didn’t know I was the surrogate of the Alpha heirs. He’s been more worried that this attack against him was in some way related to the heirs I carry. And we have

My heart broke for Cesare. This poor little boy was innocent in everything. He doesn’t deserve to have his world turned upside down like this. He also doesn’t deserve to have such a negligent mother. I don’t understand Liar’s thought process. I know why she targeted Alexander. She wanted to be a Beta. She was supposed to be a Beta female with Gastone. However, that doesn’t answer why she neglects her duties to Cesare. He may not be of the paternity she desired, but he still deserves her love and care. I can’t wrap my mind around her behavior regarding her child. She carried him in her womb for nine months. As disappointed and outraged as she was to learn that her plan to trap Alexander failed, it’s no excuse to mistreat this sweet boy. I didn’t want to let him go when I held him. He’s two, but he felt so light, and that only made me angrier at Liar and more heartbroken for him. Maybe it’s because I have many hormones from the pregnancy, but my feelings about him and his plight were h