Chapter 38

~ BELLA’S POV

I hate him. I fucking hate him so much. I can not believe how foolish I am. I fell for his trap one more time, I let him have his way around me one more time.

I am such a loser, I say a lot of things about him, and I always talk about how much I hate him and how much I despise his behavior but the moment he touches me, everything changes. It’s almost like I can not control myself anymore, I lose a complete sense of myself and it’s really bad. It’s killing me to know that I can not control my hormones when I am with him.

Whenever Austin hurts me I pin the blame on him but right now, I’m not gonna do that because It’s not his fault, it’s my fault. I always let him do this to me. I always give him the opportunity to humiliate and insult me. I caused this for myself, If I didn’t let him touch me, none of this would have happened. He wouldn’t have hurt my feelings and I certainly won’t be so upset right now.

Thinking about this, I feel like a hypocrite. I mean only hypocri