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All Grown Up A Distraction
AudreyI should have known that Jesse would realize this wasn’t new info. I should have prepared something better to say when he asked me how long I had known. Of course, I would never lie to him. I could never lie to him. But there had to be something better to respond with than a guilty look and a mumbled, “Couple of weeks.”He looked shocked and then angry. And he had every right to. I should have told him sooner. I just hadn’t wanted to ruin the time that we had left. I didn’t want it to be all about saying goodbye. I just wanted to make the most of the time that we had. Now that I thought about it, it had been pretty selfish of me.It wasn’t like I had any real choice, though. He knew that I was going back to Paris at some point. So that was a little sooner than we had planned on. What else was I supposed to do?The part that killed me was, I wanted him to be happy for me about the lead role. I still could barely believe that I had gotten that lucky, that all my hard work was fin
All Grown Up Role of a Lifetime
Audrey“If you’d just told me about it, maybe you wouldn’t have had to ask,” Jesse snapped. “I was going to talk to you about that. I was thinking of maybe handing over the hardware store to Joe, at least for the time being, and coming with you. I guess that’s just not something that you would want, though.”I stared at him, mouth agape for a moment. He had thought about coming with me to France? I had never even considered that he might want to. Had I screwed everything up by not telling him?The reality was, though, that I just couldn’t picture him fitting into my life in Paris either. With this lead role that the director was granting me, I needed to have 100% of my focus on my dance training. I was going to be exhausted whenever I went home. I didn’t need to argue with Jesse over whether or not I was taking it too hard, putting myself through too much pain for the sake of dance.What would he do while I was off dancing? How would we make ends meet? It was too soon to be talking ab
All Grown Up All My Fault
JesseI thought bitterly back over my plans for the evening as the oven timer started going off in the kitchen. I had planned to have Audrey come over for a nice dinner, then we would talk and cuddle on the couch. Maybe watch a movie. Have sex and hold one another for the whole night. She had agreed to finally stay over again. It felt like a huge step for us.Then, I’d realized that there was no more holding back my feelings from her. I had to tell her that I loved her.I didn’t know what I had expected from that conversation. I guess the truth was, I had thought she would tell me that she loved me too. Then, I would sweep her off her feet and carry her upstairs, kissing her, ready to show her just how much I really loved her. Instead, I had screwed up everything.Well, not really. She was the one to stop me before I had a chance to tell her that I loved her. I was kind of glad for that now, with everything else. Because clearly, she didn’t feel the same way.She hadn’t even had the d
All Grown Up Ghosts
JesseI felt most terrible when I thought about the fact that she didn’t want to even try to figure out how to make things work with me. It made me think about what Annabelle had said about her using me. She had said that to Audrey, and Audrey had mentioned it to me. Now, I wondered if that had been the truth, if Audrey had been lying to me all along.I sat down at the kitchen table and took a bite of the dinner that we were supposed to share. I nearly choked on the first bite, the food like ashes in my mouth. I pushed my plate away and put my head in my hands. The house hadn’t felt this empty since right after Dad passed away.I had the sudden urge to head into town, just to be around other people. But where would I go? Gabby’s? I couldn’t do that. Annabelle worked there, and Audrey might be in there. Besides, even if neither of them were there, I would be stuck thinking about the last time that I had been there with Audrey. About the first time that I had been there with Audrey.I w
All Grown Up Back in Paris
AudreyI took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Then another. I peeked out past the curtains. There was no one out there in the audience yet, but there would be soon. Just a couple more days and it would be time to go for real.The lighting guys ran a few final tests, and then we waited for the call. It was almost time to step out for the opening routine in the show. I was the first one on stage, and the last as well. What I did here would set the tone for the whole performance. I felt a little shiver run up my spine at the thought of that.The director suddenly appeared there before me. “Audrey, ma belle!” he said enthusiastically, kissing both of my cheeks. The man had never been quite so open and friendly with me before, and that, over the past week, had told me all I needed to know about both my dance and my ability to channel my sadness. That final piece nearly brought tears to my own eyes each time I performed it, and I knew the audience wouldn’t be able to help but be moved.
All Grown Up Some Advice
AudreyWe took our final notes from the director. He didn’t have anything but praise for me. It should have made me thrilled. I was dancing better than I ever could have hoped. Especially given that I’d had an injury that had kept me from dance for weeks. I wished that I could forget about Jesse and just enjoy the now.Then I felt guilty for thinking that. Forget about Jesse? As though he meant nothing to me?I wondered what he was up to right now. I calculated the time difference. It was early in the morning there. He was probably just waking up. Suddenly, I ached to be there with him, beside him in bed. I wanted his hands on my bare skin; I wanted to feel his soft lips pressed tenderly to mine. That was just a memory, though.I opened my eyes, not sure when I’d closed them, but I opened them to a quiet auditorium in France rather than to the sight of Jesse’s bedroom and swaths of naked skin. The other ballerinas were starting to trickle out, talking and laughing as they did so. I no
All Grown Up Gone Girl
JesseIt had been over a week since Audrey went back to Paris, but things still hadn’t gone back to normal. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I couldn’t stop feeling alone. Joe had been coming over nearly every night, just like he used to when Dad had died. He brought beer most times, but I drank most of it by myself. Getting drunk seemed to be the only way I could sleep.Not that I slept all that much. I couldn’t bring myself to go upstairs to my bedroom most nights. I’d had Audrey in that bed. I’d planned a life where we woke up together morning after morning. Instead, I was sleeping fitfully down on the couch, and waking up feeling as though I had never slept at all. I knew I probably looked like I was going through hell. It seemed like the whole town was in on it, giving me sympathetic looks.I almost wanted to remind everyone that it was my own damn fault that I felt this miserable. I’d known she’d be leaving. I knew better than to get attached. It wasn’t like she hadn’t disapp
All Grown Up Calling Her
JesseI found myself walking over to the studio that Audrey had rented. She had been gone for over a week now, but no one else had taken over the place. It wasn’t like there was much demand for real estate in the town. Hell, for all I knew, Audrey might still be renting the place.Either way, the door was unlocked, and I headed inside. I grabbed one of the beers that I had stashed there and sat heavily on the couch, running my hand absently across the leather as I thought about Audrey in there. I would give anything to see her dance one more time.In my mind’s eye, I could see her that one night, when we had come here after our date. She had looked so ethereal and beautiful as she spun around barefoot, dancing to music that only she could hear. It was so different from the way that she danced at Gabby’s, but both were equally entrancing. The thing about her dancing here, though, was that it was all for me. There was no one else to see her. No other audience.And that was part of why I
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