Chapter 44

CORNELIUS

Thriving in the asshole department was what I did these days.

I was beyond mad. Mad at myself. At her. At my fucking life. When I sent her away to Santa Monica, I did so because I loved her, because I was protecting her from me, from Mafioso, from this sort of life but remembering her face back then.

Remembering my actions, forcing myself on her, forcing her to accept me, that right there clawed my insides like Lucifer’s hell hounds nipping at my soul.

The nastro azzuro swirling in my tongue did nothing to numb my thoughts or the gut-wrenching feeling weighing me down like bricks.

I preferred a bottle of Sam Adams any day to whatever shit I was drinking at the moment. The bartender, a pale gringo who’d eyed me cautiously since my ass settled on the damn stool looked a tad bit apprehensive when I asked for another bottle.

Was I drinking way too much for one night? Maybe, but I’d prefer knocking myself cold with hard liquor than going back to the mansion. An hour drive back an