Eighty-Two

Sadness and hopelessness ranged deep in my bones, seeping like rot. I was filled with an overwhelming sorrow of experiencing two losses at once.

My heart hurt, and I felt a deep regret, blaming myself day and night for being responsible for all of this. I sat in my dark room, staring blankly at the wall. It had been over three weeks since her disappearance.

We had no idea if she was alive or dead, and fear ate at me from the inside. Nothing seemed to matter anymore.

The guilt weighed heavily on me. I'd have made wiser decisions and released her sooner. Maybe she wouldn’t have been adopted. She was paying the price for a crime she did not commit, and I didn’t think I would ever forgive myself.

Day and night, I sent lifeguards to search for her at the shore. Perhaps seeing her washed up and dead would let me grieve properly, but I just couldn’t give up. I needed to be sure.

Someone knocked on the door, but I didn’t bother to respond. Fred walked in holding a tray of food.

I hugged my kn