Marley Benson is Pathetic

MARLEY

I am pathetic.

So much so that I should probably get it tattooed on my forehead because everyone can already see it.

And I don't need anyone to tell me because I already know.

Maybe I should feel ashamed or sad for pining over a beautiful boy who is already taken, and maybe deep down inside, I do.

It doesn't stop me from admiring him from afar, though.

There's no shame in looking, right?

There might be shame in daydreaming and wishing that it was me he looked at, but no one has to know that.

And so what if it makes me look pathetic, it's no one's business but my own.

Besides, Luca Valentine looks way too hot in his blue t-shirt. A lot hotter than the green one he wore yesterday.

It would be a shame for him not to be looked at.

"You're staring," Lilith hisses, snapping her fingers in my face. Her red painted fingernails catches my attention, and I blink. "Stop it. You're getting creepy."

Lilith tosses her equally vibrant red hair over her shoulder, a curly strand catching on her black cat shaped earring. She drops her hand and grabs her travel mug, taking a big sip of the contents inside.

I blink again, my pale and freckled face flushing red as I push my thick framed glasses up my nose. I quickly glance back at Luca Valentine's pretty face before refocusing on my best friend.

"I can't help it." I murmur, body shifting on the bench I sit on.

It's Monday, the first day back after relaxing on the weekend, and I need to refill my Luca-meter. It's practically empty because I wasn't able to go to Billy's Burgers on Sunday.

Billy's Burgers is the most popular fast food restaurant in town, and the only place Luca and his friends go to eat after school and on the weekends.

And the only reason I couldn't go is because mom needed me to go through everything in my closet to donate what didn't fit me anymore.

To say I was upset would be an understatement. I was up until three am stalking Luca's social media to make up for the loss.

I stuff a spoonful of mashed potatoes into my mouth. The lack of salt and pepper makes my nose wrinkle, but I swallow it anyway.

The food at school is never good, but I forgot to pack my lunch last night -too busy staring at pictures of Luca- and I have to eat something.

"He looks good in blue." My gaze shifts and I find myself staring at him once more.

He laughs, white teeth flashing between pink lips as his friend across from him talks. Lush brown hair falls into perfect green eyes and I sigh.

How can a boy be so pretty?

It should be illegal. Maybe I should petition a bill to the state governor and demand all pretty boys be removed?

If I did that though, I wouldn't be able to look at him, and that in itself is criminal.

Dyed blonde hair touches his shoulder. The strands sticking to the cotton sleeve of his shirt, and a sad sigh escapes my lips as my focus shifts to the beauty sitting next to him.

Stephanie Michaels is a constant reminder of why I cannot and and will not ever have him.

The blonde haired girl curls a manicured hand around his muscled biceps and leans into him. The front of her cheerleader uniform brushes against his chest as she whispers in his ear.

Everything about the couple screams perfect.

She's the cheer captain to his quarterback football player.

And worst of all, she is my cousin.

My bottom lip juts out as I can't help but compare myself to Stephanie for the thousandth time.

Unlike me, Stephanie isn't pathetic.

She is everything I wished I was. Beautiful, popular, athletic, has a hot football playing boyfriend named Luca Valentine.

The list goes on and on, but I decide to save my heart ache for when I'm alone and I can wallow in my self pity.

I'm stuck watching as Luca leans down and kisses Stephanie, arm wrapping around her waist to tug her closer against him.

Would he hold me like that if it were me he was kissing?

I sigh again.

A yelp of pain escapes me when Lilith kicks my shin under the table, "I said stop it! You look like a bitch in heat." Lilith wrinkles her nose at me and stirs her mug.

I pout and push my glasses up my nose when it slips, "Geez. You're so violent to me."

"I'll stop being violent when you stop being pathetic." Lilith retorts, lips curling into a smile. "Besides, Luca isn't the one you should be worried about."

I frown, "What do you mean?"

"While you've been drooling over Luca, he has been staring at you," Lilith nods her head in the opposite direction from where Luca and Stephanie sit.

With furrowed brows, I turn to look over my shoulder when Lilith kicks me again.

"Ow!" I hiss, head whipping back to glare at her. "Seriously, this is a toxic relationship. We need counselling."

Lilith snorts, "You can't just turn around and look at him. Do you want to be beaten to a pulp? He's practically killing you with his eyes."

I huff, "I don't even know who 'he' is. Just tell me already."

Lilith glances over my shoulder, thick red brows furrowing, "Ares. He's looking at you like you ran over his puppy ten times over."

I swallow down the sudden lump that forms in my throat as a jolt of fear rushes down my spine, "Ares Abernathy?" I whisper, horror dripping from my voice.

While I may be at the very bottom of the social food chain, Ares is there by choice. And even that makes him cooler than me.

With his 'no care' attitude, Ares is the definition of a badboy. He's always wearing his signature leather jacket, and while it's an old cliché, he makes it look good. He's adorned in black from his hair color to the heavy combat boots on his feet.

He's always in more trouble than when he's not, and I avoid him as best I can when he's wandering the halls.

Lilith nods, eyes darting over my shoulder once more. She leans in and whispers, "Did you run over his puppy?"

My face falls flat, "You know I didn't." I bite back. "I don't even have a car."

My fingers curl over my eating utensil, back going stiff. Now that I'm hyper aware, I can suddenly feel the heat of his gaze on my neck. Goosebumps rise on my skin, and I subconsciously twirl a lock of brown hair around my finger.

Sucking in a breath, I chance a peak over my shoulder, dark brown hair hiding half of my face and I freeze when I meet ice cold eyes.

Dark black hair falls onto his matching eyebrows, which are furrowed down into an angry glare. His jaw is set tight as he leans back in his chair.

One leather clad arm is draped behind his friends' chair, the other resting on the table with his hand curling around the edge. His blue eyes are glued to me, and I swear they darken when he finds me staring back at him.

Ares leans back like he has no care in the world, but the tick in his jaw suggests otherwise.

A squeak escapes my lips and I turn back around, eyes wide as I stare at Lilith.

"M-maybe he's glaring at someone else?" I ask.

Lilith glances behind me and snorts, "No. He's definitely staring at you."

I duck my head, long hair blocking the side of my face and groan.

What could I have done to deserve his piercing gaze?

I don't remember bumping into him or stepping on his shiny boots. I don't remember interacting with him at all because I go out of my way not to even walk down the same hall as him.

Because Ares Abernathy is bad news and everyone knows it.