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Chapter 15 - First Rule of Flirting
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Always Finding Mr Wrong Chapter 16 - In the Bag
I’ve truly never considered myself an expert on fashion, beauty, or skin and hair care. But relative to Scott I’m Kate Moss. I certainly know enough to help him improve his appearance. And given that I can’t count the number of times he’s helped me out over the years, this project is pay back. I’m not saying I can’t survive without him. Well who am I kidding, he saved me on the most traumatic night of my life and he’s been a solid rock guiding me to the light ever since. Despite having his own problems to work through and finally reconnecting with his family, he’s always been there for me. Even when he was homeless, he would remember key dates and events and would always ask about them. We may have met in the most unlikely of circumstances, but he’s a true friend. My parents took to him straight away. You could completely forget about the night that changed everything and they’d still love Scott, he has a way of connecting with people and a quiet charm about him. But if you ad
Always Finding Mr Wrong Chapter 17 - Dumped
Dani was right about the lovely Ryan. He wasn’t that lovely. Or at least he wasn’t lovely enough to stick with Katie. I can tell that she has been dumped, the moment she turned up at the house with red eyes and swollen features distinctive of a newly-ditched girlfriend. Fortunately, Scott is at one of his veteran meetings, so there’s only me to console her, which I can’t help thinking is a good thing. Scott might only be Scott, but he’s still a man and nobody wants a man around at a time like this. “I just can’t believe it,” she sniffs as she takes a shaky sip of her wine as we sit at the kitchen table, conducting a post-mortem of her relationship. “I honestly thought he was…” her voice trails off as she begins to cry again. “The one?” I offer. Poor Katie has told me five times already that she honestly thought he was the one. Her faces crumples as she blows into her tissue with the force of a hurricane. “Do you know what he said? He said I wasn’t exciting enough. What
Always Finding Mr Wrong Chapter 18 - Date with Chris
I keep telling myself that my contribution to Katie’s emotional recovery was crucial. To the untrained eye, it may have appears that Scott waltzed in and transformed her from a gibbering wreck to a triumphant feminist. But I definitely laid the foundations. “How’s Katie?” asks Scott, after he returns from his morning run and fills a pint glass from the tap. “She’s still rather fragile,” I take a bite of my slimming bread toast. It tastes rotten and as though it may have been on the floor for a while. But it will help me lose weight. “I think it will be a long time before she turns the page on Ryan.”“Really?” Scott wipes the sweat from his brow and downs half the glass. “That’s a shame. I hope she picks herself up soon.”“Hmm,” I say as I take a big gulp of coffee. If I’m honest I’ve been left stunned by Katie’s apparent buoyancy since the breakup. I wouldn’t say she’s 100% rehabilitated. But I expected her to spend all week sobbing relentlessly, she’s been over here twice since it
Always Finding Mr Wrong Chapter 19 - Ready for The Practical
To my credit, I don’t end up sleeping with Chris. I always knew I wouldn’t, but sometimes I surprise myself by how old-fashioned I am. Instead, when we get back to his house, the two guys he shares it with are competing with their girlfriends at Just Dance. Never missing an opportunity to crucify a dance track, we sing and dance until 3am. At least, I sing; Chris abstains coolly, which would make me feel self-conscious if I were sober. When the others disappear to bed, things get steamy again on the sofa. Look, I never said I was a complete angel.I reluctantly call it a night at 5:30am, determined to leave him wanting. This requires every bit of will power I can muster – a challenge given that my willpower is largely obliterated, along with my ability to walk or talk properly. I sometimes wonder how I would have coped in the nineteenth century when you had to wait until your wedding night before reaching the inner sanctum of your beloved’s trousers. Still, they didn’t have tequila s
Always Finding Mr Wrong Chapter 20 - Scouting for Girls
Dani’s attention to project Scott has dwindled before we’ve even been here for fifteen minutes. It’s not through lack of commitment, she’s keen to point out, but because a six foot four Jake Gylenhall look-a-like athlete walks in and well we can’t say that she didn’t warn us.She instructs Scott to watch and learn, and practically shimmies across the room in her skyscraper take me to bed heels. She touches the athletes elbow in a way that couldn’t be sexier if she was a burlesque girl.Dani cares not that he is engaged in conversation with a group of five. She cares not that as she tosses her hair over her shoulder in a bewitching way, she almost knocks someone’s drink out of their hand. She cares even less that, as she introduces herself to him, the women around him glare at her so intensely that you can almost see daggers.Within mere seconds, she’s deep in conversation with the best looking man in the room – and he’s lapping her up.Scott shakes his head in amazement. “If that’s th
Always Finding Mr Wrong Chapter 21 - The Chatting Up Chat
“This is killing me. We can’t stay in here all night. Go to the toilet again. Go on,” I tell Katie. “I’ve been three times already in the last hour and each time it was rammed,” replies Katie. “Why is it so busy in here? It’s normally quiet and civilised.” “I don’t know. Maybe it’s payday or something. Come on, Katie. Do it for Scott.” “If I go again, people are going to think I have a urine infection or something.” She frowns. “Do you think I’d get away with going again?” I ask. “I don’t think so. If Scott spotted you the last four times, like you suspect. We should just let nature take its course. He’s still over there, so he must be doing something right.” “We think he’s still over there,” I clarify. “He could have gone anywhere in the last three minutes.” “Pop your head up again, if you must.” “Okay,” I nod. I clamber onto my hands and knees and spin around on my seat in preparation for my latest recon mission. I have this down to a fine art now. Pop up my
Always Finding Mr Wrong Chapter 22 - Another Failed Attempt
Scott’s next series of seduction attempts aren’t much more successful. Although Katie and I aren’t supposed to be monitoring him, in the end it’s a good thing we have. Everything and I mean – absolutely everything - that he learned in our practice sessions is forgotten when he’s within a few feet of a real, live, in the flesh female. The main problem though, is how uncomfortable he looks. Every time he approaches someone, his worried eyes give off strange vibes that make the women glare at him suspiciously, as if wondering if they may have to use their rape alarm on him. When he finally does engage with a woman at the bar, she’s so drunk that she can barely stand up, let alone focus on Scott or any kind of conversation. After a few minutes of apparent conversation – which on Scott’s part involves spewing out over 100 words a minute and on her part involves a lot of slurring and dribbling, she slips off the bar stool and onto the floor. Scott rushes to her aid and is grabbed o
Always Finding Mr Wrong Chapter 23 - Mum and Steve
“What’s new?” I ask mum, as I demolish my second custard cream. I keep telling myself that I didn’t enjoy the first. But they are annoyingly more-ish. Probably because there’s only half a syn in them. “Oh you know,” mum sighs as she polishes the picture frames for probably the third time today. “Your dad has been reciting romantic poetry and has been on a huge shopping spree. I have to say, I love the Gucci knickers.” “Not a lot then,” I say as I take a sip of my tea. “Oh well, I’d I make the big pay roll I’ll buy you as many pairs of Gucci knickers as you want.” “I’m sure they’re overrated anyway,” she sighs as she puts her duster down. “Your dad definitely wouldn’t notice the difference between Gucci and Asda George.” “That’s men for you, mum,” I tell her. “They aren’t all like that, are they?” She asks. I lean back on my chair as my brother Steve walks in. It’s march, below ten degrees and as per usual he is wearing his shorts and hoody. “Alright, sis?” He mutters a
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