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Chapter 40
I'm drowning.
I can't breathe and cant get a grip on anything. I'm struggling to swim my way back to the top and my body is ready to give up at any moment.
No one is helping me and that's the frustrating part. I keep calling out for help yet my words are drowned out by the water I swallow. My body feels heavy yet I push through that, using all my strength to try pull myself back up and for my face to be out of the water.
My arms are flapping about and my feet are beyond exhausted from working. I'm not a strong swimmer, I made peace with that fact a long time ago, now I'm paying for this. I can't even get myself out of this situation.
A situation I'm not at fault at, I didnt end up here by my own will, I wouldn't have.
The last of my strength I can feel, I decide to use, recalling every type of lesson taught and
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BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 41
Silence had long taken over because neither one of us, has attempted to say a word after what he has revealed.All I can do is just stare at him since the news are too hard to grasp, it's too heavy to bear and my heart pains for him. He lost his mom." Hazel Grace no, no don't cry for me." He sighs when he turns to look at me.I cant help myself, the tears are too heavy to contain and that's why I let them freely fall." But it's your mom Roman." I whisper out." Hazel -" " I'm sorry Roman, I'm sorry." I say, launching myself to him and wrapping my arms around his waist, resting my head against his chest."It's okay Hazel.""No it's not. I wasn't there when you needed me most and I know that you needed me more then ever then, I bring comfort to you. Me being where you need me most makes everything okay for you. It's always been this wa
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 42
Two Weeks Later.....I have never seen Danny as shaken as he had been two weeks ago, it's still affecting him until today and his actions prove my point as he is relunctant of leaving for his college visit. He's visiting two colleges and both offer sport scholarships. His uncle will be accompanying him today.His uncle has been like a second father to him and though he can be a little intimidating, he's an okay man I guess. He never gave me problems when I first met him and seemed to think that I was right for Danny.He and Danny have a close relationship and Danny values his opinion very much. I was glad that his uncle jumped at the chance of accompanying him on his trip."It would have been way more awesome if you were coming with me." He says, pulling me closer." I know but, I have a heck lot of work to get into, just to get the teachers off my back." I explain.
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 43
Left me to die?No, no, I must have heard wrong.I slowly turn around to face him. My eyes follow his every move, where he walks towards me." Hazel you have to listen to me, let me talk and explain to you-" "Why did you say such a thing to me Roman?....Why would you say that to me?"" Danny is not good for you Hazel Grace. He is not." " Roman, not this again." I say through a sigh, dropping my eyes to the ground." Hazel." A gasp slips out when his hands cradle my face and tilt my head up so I am looking into his eyes." Hazel I am here, not as your enemy. I am your bestfriend, your Roman. Eversince we were young, have I ever given you a reason to not trust me?" "No, but - ," I pull out of his touch but his hands are quick to hold my shoulders, keeping me from taking another step further.
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 43 part 2
"How's your head now?" He asks, after I'd taken a pain killer, to relieve me from the pounding headache." It's not bad anymore." "Are you sure about this?" Roman asks me as we arrive at my destination."No, but I know that I have to do this. It's better now then later I guess." I respond, turning to look at him.His eyes search my own and I just stare at him. He's concerned, I understand but I need to do this. I want to get everything over and done with." I don't know, let me go with you." He says, a plea in his tone." I have to do this on my own." "You don't have to do this on your own, let me be there for you and - " " Roman." I cover his hand with mine and look him straight in the eyes." Let me do this on my own, I can't be dependent on you for everything, there are some things that I will sometimes have to face on my own. And
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 44
It's my fault, it's my fault.It should have been me and not him.The thoughts repeatedly play in my head as tears stream down my face. Tonight has been the worst night of my life and I wish, more then ever for someone to tell me that this is all a bad dream. That I'll wake up and he'll be fine. All he wanted to do was to protect me but I couldn't do the same for him. I couldn't protect him. I couldn't protect my best friend.He called out for me. Oh my gosh he called out for me and I should have answered, maybe then he would have stopped. This is all my fault."Hazel!" I jump off my chair when I see Sam and Avery coming my way.I rush towards them, literally throwing myself to him and wrapping my arms around him. " Hazel, hey hey are you okay?" I shake my head, burying my face in his shoulder. I can't stop my bo
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 45
"No.""W-what?" I ask, frowning." That's what I mean, you are not going anywhere near my son." Mr O'Connor says."B-but I have the same blood type, I'm sure of this. I can save him." I try explain."My son is in there because he was busy trying to save you , so no, I wont let you go near him, or even see him for that mattet."" Nick, if she says that she is a match with Roman, then we should be jumping at the chance to save him. Everyone has been tested and no luck, she's our last hope. Come on, stop being so stubborn." Mrs O'Connor says in frustration."That boy hasn't returned yet so we don't know the results." He says, talking about Sam who's the last to go in."He wont be a match, I know this. I am the only one who is, he needs me, he needs me more so now then ever." I say desperately.He shakes his head no, already protesting.
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 46
" Hazel, wake up......doctor!" I feel myself being shaken awake.I would have resisted, had it not been for the repeat call for the doctor. That's when I remember where I am and why I had been in here. For Roman.A moan slips out as I tiredly open my eyes and the first thing I see are Roman's hazel eyes. " Ha, thank God." He sighs in relief, his eyes closing for a moment.I blink up at him, confused by his actions."You're awake, you're awake." He repeats, burying his face in my hair.What's wrong with him all of a sudden?" Roman?" He leans back to look down at me, his eyes moving all over my face. I watch with a confused frown as he traces his finger along the side of my face as if trying to put it into memory." What's wrong?" I finally ask."You weren't waking up." " I was asleep Roman, I t
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 47
"Dad, please say something." I plead quietly.His eyes snap to me." I'm taking you home. For good this time." He says, jumping off the bed." Dad, come on I can't just leave!" I say incredulously, rising to my feet too." You almost died Hazel!!" He shouts with eyes wide." I know that dad. I was there!...B-but that's not what I want to hear right now. I need my dad. I need my dad!" I cry out, tears trailing down my face.His head drops, breathing hard." I failed you didnt I?""Dad." I quickly go over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my head against his chest.He quickly holds me tight as he releases a shaky breath." I almost lost you, I almost lost the last thing I have left to live for." He says with a shaky breath, causing a pinch in my chest." I'm sorry sweetheart, I'm s
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