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Chapter 50
" Roman?" I blink twice, trying to make sense of why he would be here in my room, this early. More over watching me sleep.
"Hey."
" Morning." I mumble, sitting upright.
We look at each other for a while without saying a word. " How long have you been in here?" I ask, tucking my hair behind my ears.
" Not long. "
" What's the matter?" I search his eyes and I sense him bothered somehow.
A minute passes before he speaks up. "Your birthday is coming up soon."
I look away from him. " Is that why you're in here, watching me like a creep."
He doesn't answer.
" I don't celebrate it anymore." I say, turning to face him again. "Those days are gone now. It's just a day and nothing more."
" Because of me?"
" No." I say, getting out of bed.
" It's because of what happened isn'
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BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 51
His name is Jacob, the guy who had returned my book to me.He is simply a cool, down to earth guy that I like talking to. We had coffee once when I was done with therapy, I had popped by the nearest coffee shop whilst waiting for Roman and he simply showed up. He had been around and I invited him over, just because I felt like it and I didn't regret my decision.Conversation flowed easily and I found myself laughing, he gave me a reason to not even glance around me. Because he couldn't stay long and had to be elsewhere, he couldn't meet Roman. I am actually glad about that because it turned out, that Roman had been in a bad mood. I feel bad for half listening to him vent that day, since I was still in that calm and good mood I received, in my time spent talking to Jacob.I wanted Roman to meet Jacob and I think he will like him. Jacob plays the piano and is in the band. He likes to read, just like I do. He makes me laugh a
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 52
He mentioned Roman and I was already agreeing.He took me to the coffee shop close by, which was a walk away and the only place I felt comfortable talking at. Thankfully he had an umbrella ready, so we didn't get wet. The coffee shop smelt like coffee, obviously, but the earthy colour theme with the dark floor, brown and creame white walls and a hint of orange here and there. The place screamed cozy and comfy, just what I liked.He chose the booth at the back with a window seat, sitting opposite me. A waitress came by and we both seemed to order our own different hot beverages and nothing more. I took a good look at him and one thing came to mind. He looks just like Roman." You wanted to talk about Roman." I speak up, not wanting to drown in the silence." Yes, Roman hates me." I blink at him, surprised by what he just said. " You don't have to say anything to that, we both know that it's true.
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 53
I woke up all sweaty and with my heart racing. I had a bad dream. It's the same one that seems to visit me right around this time of year. I wish it would leave me alone but it's more of a haunting memory turned bad dream. I tried to forget, I tried really hard but each time the day comes, my birthday comes, it feels like I am taken back to that dark place.The same where I was a prisoner in my own skin.I sigh, pushing back my hair away from my face. It's still in the early morning and checking my phone for the time, I see that I have an hour or so before my alarm goes off. Getting out of bed and needing something to keep my mind distracted, I get out of my room and head downstairs.My stomach starts to grumble in hunger and I remember that I didn't exactly eat, before going to bed. Might as well make myself something to eat. I decide on making myself a bowl
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 54
I kissed my best friend and I l-liked it. Oh my gosh, I'm so horrible." Hazel, open the door please!" Roman calls from the other side of the door as he knocks.I don't answer, still trying to come into grips with what just happened downstairs." Come on baby please, open the door!" He called me ' baby'. Oh my, I'm really dreaming right now." Hazel -" " I kissed you Roman!....Oh my gosh I took advantage of my best friend!" I gasp as my words sink in." What the fu - no Hazel you did not. I kissed you first and you know what, I want to do it again!" My eyes widen at his admittance.He would?.A few seconds pass before I turn around and unlock the door, opening it slowly and nervously. I hear him come in and I don't dare look at him, until I close the door.I quickly glance at him
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 55
I have never laughed and smiled as much as I do, in a short space of time, like I've done being around Roman. It's only been hours and never a full day since he confessed his feelings to me. I've lost count of the many times in which he's stolen kisses. He can be quite sneaky when he wants to. Either way, I like it and I feel strongly about everything. Though hours in but like I had said, things feel natural and good.It was a good idea to skip school today because then I would have missed all this. And even if I went to school, I'd be bored out of my mind. So staying home was best. We had spent most of our day cuddling, eating, making out, binge watching on movies and just enjoying each others company.We had eventually fallen asleep on the couch, whilst watching a movie. Having woken up first after hours, I had found myself just watching him sleep. It truly was a pleasure, to see him so relaxed, so at peace and damn
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 56
" Lets go Sweet." Roman whispers in my ear.I glance at Danny for a second before nodding, Roman doesn't need anymore signs, he takes my hand and drags me to his car. Sam and Avery follow us. I don't even glance behind me like I used to, whenever I would walk away with Danny, walking away from Roman.There was always that feeling of leaving something important behind at that time, but now things are different andI'm only looking forward." We'll see each other on Monday." Avery says when we finally reach Roman's car, pulling me in for a hug. " And don't you dare skip." She playfully warns me.I nod, smiling at her.I walk over to Sam and hug him goodbye." Finally." He says in my ear, making me to pull back and to look at him.I give him a questioning look but he just smiles at me, stepping back.I don't say anything but wave at them, before getting i
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A few minutes have passed and he hasn't said anything yet. His body has gone rock solid and I'm afraid, that he might not be breathing." R-Roman, please say something." I whisper out.I feel desperate for him to say something, anything." What happened?" I take a breath before confessing." It was my 11th birthday and my family decided to surprise me. They didn't want me depressing over you leaving anymore. They hosted the party at aunt Karen's house and the theme was a masked party. We were playing hide and seek when it happened." I trail off. " I thought the shed would be a good place for me to hide, but I was wrong. I stepped in there and I was only there for a short while, but it was enough for someone to grab me from behind. I had no idea that someone had been in there, I swear." I stop short when I hear him breathing hard." I struggled against
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 58
I lay my head on my mother's lap, her hand patting my hair. It feels so nice and I just want to stay in this moment. I want to remain in my mother's comfort.I've missed her and I've missed this feeling. Everything feels so calm with her close to me and I never want her, to seperate from me. I never want to leave this place. I can breathe easily and I don't have to face the hurt anymore. I'm tired of hurting.It pains to hurt." Can I stay here with you mom?" I ask." If you want to." I smile at that.But then Roman comes into mind and my smile slips off my face. I frown a bit." B-but what about Roman, I can't leave him." She doesn't say anything." Mom?" I take my head off her lap and sit up, facing her.
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