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BLUE MOON 22
I slide out of his arms, arranging my wayward top from his ministrations on his chest, and hop off the table, I can’t look at him or my hands as I escape to the other end of the room, suddenly very ashamed at my lack of control and because I know the tips of my claws would be gleaming with blood for the second time today. “It’s fine” I hear Zayne say. “It’s not fine!” I blinked repeatedly swallowing past the painfully hard lump in my throat, “I’m not fine” I whispered admitting it broke something in me. But it’s the truth, what’s the use of denying it now? I bite my swollen upper lip between my teeth as my sight becomes glassy. “I feel like I’m going crazy Zayne. I’m losing it” I say to the door as tear rolls down my cheek. I don’t hear him but a moment later, Zayne wraps his arms around me from behind and a sob leaves my chest. “Shh… it’s alright princess” he turns me around until my face is against his chest. I don’t hold him back though. I can’t. Not when I just hurt him with th
BLUE MOON 23
I stand at the side the next morning, stretching a little while I wait for training to begin. I can feel the stares, have been since morning. One even did a double-take like she wasn’t expecting me. I definitely didn’t feel like coming this morning, just wanted to bury my head under my covers and sleep the day away, but I thought I should just get it over with. If I missed training today, I'd never be able to show my face again. And no matter how much I hate the stares or being talked about behind my back, it wasn't enough to keep me from getting strong, my promise, I have every intention of keeping it. So, I got up, did my early morning warm-up, had a really hot, long shower, and came for training. If anything, I'm more determined than ever. While getting dressed and braiding my hair, I told myself to calm the fuck down and focus. No more losing control. The last time was just that, an accident. What does it matter if someone calls me names? I can’t go off at anyone who whi
BLUE MOON 24
I sense him before I see him as Oliver and I get back to the arena after our run. The others who were way ahead of us must have already taken their things and left. Strangely enough, I’ve been expecting him, with the way we left things off yesterday, I’ve been hoping to avoid him, already planned on how I’m not going to go anywhere near the compound for some time, at least until I have everything figured out. Heat floods my face in embarrassment as I recall how brazen I'd acted yesterday, talking to my Alpha like that. I'd like to think it was bravery, and fire in my stomach that prompted me to act as I had, but it wasn't, crazy, I was crazy. He makes me so crazy I forget myself when he's around me. It's also why I can't face him now. I knew it would only be a matter of time before he came looking for me, I just didn't think it would be so soon. Oliver rubs my back as I’m bent over, hands braced on my knees to get more air in my lungs and buy myself some more time “See you later
BLUE MOON 25
*** Taking my hand empty hand that's not holding my hoodie and bottle, Zayne turns me and we begin walking again. “When I first met you, I could barely sense the wolf. I knew she was there, but she seemed…” he tries to find an appropriate word “Asleep? Your aura was faint, not very noticeable, usually the less noticeable the aura, the less dominant the wolf, but since that night, it’s like a veil has been removed and I can sense you better"I look at him out of the corner of my eye "Does that mean I’m a dominant female?" I ask with a small smile, not wanting to think of the implications of what he is saying.We come to a stop at the front of the lodge, I hadn’t realized we were standing so close “Compared to me or a fully trained enforcer you’re still a baby so don't go picking fights" I scoffed, my cheeks heating up in embarrassment. "That was one time" I whispered biting my top lip shyly, besides Tiana is a novice like me."But there is something to it though.” He tilts his hea
BLUE MOON 26
Thank the Goddess above there’s still some left when I get down. I help myself to a decent portion and a large slice of bread. I’m just sipping the last portion of my soup when Mara joins us. Like Esther, I don’t know her really well so I just give a polite smile and then proceed to tip my bowl halfway up so I can get every last bit. “Well, why are you smiling?” I hear Esther ask, with a quick look I confirm that she is indeed smiling, a cheshire grin on her lips. “Did you finally get Levi to fuck you?” Who’s Levi? I want to ask but again, don’t really know her, so it might be kind of rude so I bring my spoon to my lips and finish off the last of my meal. She waved her hand and scoffed, “That’s old news, I’ve moved on. But you won’t guess who I ran into on my way here” she gasped and fanned herself with the palm of one hand, her eyes rolling back in what I can only describe to be ecstasy. I half pay attention to them as I cross to the sink to wash my plate. Her cheeks look fl
BLUE MOON 27
“Gather around,” Colin says with a clap of his hands to get our attention. “Today I’d like to test your abilities with different members of the team.” He says when we come together. “When you’re not fighting, I expect you to watch and pay attention, you might learn something.” Hmm, you don’t say, I look around and I don’t see Naya. She’s being my partner for the last few days and I am not feeling elastic about it. “Philip and Rachel, you’re up,” Colin says when we come to stand in two lines. They walk reluctantly to the front, facing off against each other, I guess this might be the first time they’d be sparing. The rest of us get comfortable on the ground to watch the sparing session, Colin orders them to engage and they set off. He continues to call names randomly and I’m just glad I won’t have to fight Naya today. Yesterday was a complete annihilation I didn’t even get a single hit in. I was too busy trying to get away from her and even then, I wasn’t really successful.
BLUE MOON 28
The next day after training, more like getting my ass kicked by Naya, I shower, ate, and then take my time getting to the compound. I half hoped Zayne won’t be there when I get to the house, so I can just use that as an excuse but I sense that won’t be the case when I get closer to his office. Great. I knock on his door twice “Crazy wolf reporting for duty” The door opens a moment later “very funny” he says with a quirked eyebrow. I cross my hands across my chest “Can’t you see me laughing?” He inhales, exhaled then shrugs his muscled shoulders “Let’s go” Confused, I step back. “Go? where?” I thought we were doing calming exercises? “You’ll see” He tips his head motioning for me to come with him, I’m frowning when he leads me downstairs and outside. I try to keep up with his large strides as we leave the compound and into the woods. “Stop looking at me like that,” he says with a small laugh. I know I’m giving him really suspicious looks but who can blame me? he’s leading me d
BLUE MOON 29
“We’re going to do sight now,” Zayne tells me. I nod my head sitting up and taking the meditation position. My back already feels better from relaxing for a few minutes. “Close your eyes, relax and breathe. Tune out the sound and scents around you, when you feel it’s at the lowest you can get it, when you can’t hear anything and smell anything or feel, I want you to open your eyes.” I nod, going with what he said, my closed eyes, breathing to relax my senses, I stop smelling the damp earth and listening to the trees and feeling the wind on the skin of my cheeks. It was difficult, having to tone down these senses after I’d just learned to open them up. I don’t know how long it takes, I don’t know if Zayne is still here with me but after a while, I'm able to suppress them, my senses. And then I look. Before me is lush green grass, so clear. I see a grasshopper hop and land on the grass, I see its wings, its tail, and a lighter yellow shade of its inner belly. I notice that the sun
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