***
I stay quiet in my seat and stare closely at the clock on the wall that's been ticking, it's 7 pm already and Mom should be back by now. It's not odd for her to be working this late but she usually calls to inform me about it.
My anxiety level's increasing with every minute that goes by without a word from her. Curling up in a ball, I tug my fleece up to my chest. Calming my restless heart is certainly not my area of expertise but there's nothing else I can do other than wait.
My phone flashes and instantly, I pick it up. Upon reading a message from Mom, I heave a sigh of relief. Well, at least she texted.
Mom, "Don't stay up late waiting for me I'll be home in an hour, just make sure to lock up everything alright? Call me if anything."
Being home alone most of the time is nothing new, with mom working all the time, it gets lonely at times, and sometimes it's scary. As safe as my neighborhood is, sometimes I worry that ghosts from my past will come back to haunt me.
Becca, "Okay, you had me worried but I'm glad you're okay, I hope."
I sit still staring at my phone, waiting for her reply, however, she doesn't and minutes go by without receiving a text from her or anyone else.
With Tessa out camping with her family, the feeling of loneliness creeps in. Knowing so well how her family treats her, I can't help but wonder what made them do this.
She's like a shadow that roams around and nobody notices. She could be thousands of miles away from home and nobody would care about her whereabouts.
Even though she's the third child in a family of seven, it doesn't justify her parents' actions, no child should be ignored by their parents regardless.
At least her brother does, he's the only person that cares about her, that's protective of her, and who always supports her. How she's always jovial and caring towards others despite the demons she's fighting still baffles me.
My phone rings and I'm astounded upon seeing Micheal's name pop up on the screen. Immediately, I swipe right to answer and that husky voice paves its way to my ears and pulls the corners of my mouth into a smile.
We start by talking about how wonderful today was, the new things we learned about each other, and of course our last weird moment of the day. We both laugh about it and spend the rest of the conversation talking about nonsensical things.
When we finally say our good nights, I hardly notice that an hour has gone by; Mom should be back by now but the door's still shut. My phone goes silent and I stare at it for a while, hoping to see Mom's name pop up on the screen but it's still dark and silent. When I go to speed dial, I place the phone to my ear, and not long after, my phone chimes.
Mom,
"I know I said I'll be back in an hour but something came up. In case you're still awake don't wait up for me, I'll be home in an hour, I promise. I love you."Upon getting from the couch after I get the confirmation that she won't be back anytime soon, I get up from the couch and as soon as I do that, I feel my body ache and my joints weaken.
Trudging up the stairs, I suppress a yawn. It's one of my bad habits that Tessa dislikes.
Upon shutting my bedroom door, my phone rings, and as soon as I look at my screen, I tug my lips into a smile upon seeing Jake's name. With the little strength left in me to hold a conversation, I pick up the call and let out soft hello.
We don't talk much, he's rarely in school and spends most of his days out. He seldom lets me in on what's going on in his life but I know that he's up to something, something for whatever reason he doesn't want Tessa and I to know about, but regardless of what it is, I know I can't force him to tell me.
Nothing seems odd about this phone call, it's not weird and neither is it concerning. It's simply joyful, fun, and filled with banters.
* * * **********Waking up with my phone next to my pillow, I'm not surprised that it's not on my nightstand where I usually put it to let it charge while I'm asleep. I don't know how or what time I slept but all I remember is debating with Jake about nonsensical things that my brain can't recall.
When mom walks in, she rings up the curtains -- letting the crepuscular rays penetrate through the window and beam all over the walls. I narrow my eyes into a slit to block the light from piercing into my eyes but it's too strong that it forces me to get up and be fully conscious.
"Good morning sunshine. How are you?" She says as she proceeds to open the window.
When she comes to me, she embraces me right -- her embrace is so warm and yet impatient. Shortly after she starts walking hastily around the room as the squeaky noise coming from her sneakers fills the room. With her eyes turned away from me, she starts moving things around at a hurried pace as if she's rushing to go somewhere. Though her eyes are fixed on other things, I can tell she's hiding something.
"What time did you come back?" I scrunch my brows while trying to clear the blurriness from my eyes.
"10 o'clock, I think, I don't know somewhere around that time." She says while hastily organizing my room which according to her is in disarray
though I don't see it, "I'm so sorry I kept you waiting, it's just that things got busy at the hospital and I couldn't leave Gemma all-""It's fine," I interrupt, knowing that regardless of what I say she won't listen, so I don't argue with her.
"I just want you to be okay." My voice is so low and yet clear enough for her to hear me. I know she heard me. She hears the cracks in my voice, the cries, the fear of losing her, and yet she doesn't respond, and neither does she attempt to show that she listens -- perhaps she doesn't.
She stops for a moment and forces a smile. Her bloodshot eyes are rimmed with purple shadows, her neutral undertone skin is slowly turning pale and only a thin string's holding her weight.
I'm still in denial of what I'm seeing, even though I clearly see what's in front of me every day, I turn away from the truth that constantly whispers loudly in my ears.
Her phone rings and she quickly picks it up as she walks out of my room. Sitting still in my bed, I wait for her to come back, hopefully.
I'm still battling with the truth I'm clearly witnessing, I know I should talk to her about it, she may or may not listen but I can try or better still talk to someone, either way, something needs to be done.
She hurries her way back to my room, and her footsteps are so loud I can hear them getting closer. Her shoulders fall back and without a word, I already know what she's about to say, I know that look.
"You can go, I'll be fine," I mumble, sounding disappointed.
Upon biting her lower lip, she presses a warm lingering kiss on my forehead.
"I'll be back before nightfall alright? I'm sorry," She says just above a whisper as she gives me an apologetic look.
My throat's clogged up with emotions I can barely speak. I watch her walk out of my room, her back's turned to me and I know she won't turn around. When the door closes behind her, silence creeps inside these walls once again.
* * *
**********So far I've done all that was on my to-do list, it's become a routine doing all this by myself and it bothers me a lot that I can't spend some quality time with Mom as before.
After taking a long hot shower, I grab a novel and head to my backyard. I've been so hooked on mystery novels lately, Louise Penny novels to be precise. All that mystery gives me the drive and curiosity to dig deeper than the surface and somewhat be part of a team that helps to solve crime.
I lean against the garden chair and immerse myself in a world of mystery, my eyes are glued to the book and my elbows are resting on the armchair. Perfect, just how I like it. The place is quiet and peaceful with no distractions --until now.
I hear a loud cry coming from the other side of the fence, it's so high pitched, and it doesn't take me long enough to realize it's a child's cry.
Melissa!
Jumping out of my seat, I dash to her yard in a bat of an eye. When I see her holding onto her bleeding finger, goosebumps erupt on my forearms while I stand still and watch in complete shock. Willing myself to move, I manage to run to her in hopes of helping her. Recalling all that mom taught me if ever I was in a situation like this, I pull out a clean cloth from my pocket and use it to apply pressure on her finger -- her loud cries haven't stopped but I manage to stay calm and focus on slowing down the bleeding.
Seconds later Ryan comes running from his house, his eyes mirror nothing but perplexion and worry at the same time. When he picks her up, he runs back to the house and I follow behind.
I watch him silently as he pulls out a first aid kit and starts to treat his daughter. Fear is painted all over his face and I can't even imagine how much pain his daughter is in. I offer to help but he doesn't let me, his eyes are wholly focused on treating his daughter and I stand back while her loud cries fill the room.
Upon finishing cleaning her cut, he rubs some antibiotic ointment over it and covers it with a band-aid.
"That was very scary," he says while his gaze is still on her, and unlike before, he seems relaxed.
"I'm alright Daddy," she responds with a bright smile on her face as she wraps her arms around him. How children's emotions can switch in a heartbeat is incomprehensible but I'm glad she's okay.
Wrapping his arms around her, he closes his eyes as he heaves a sigh of relief -- his face is serene and I can't help but watch in awe and embrace every father and daughter moment I am witnessing, something I thought never existed.
Hurt flashes in my eyes as the memories of the past start to taunt me, reminding me of the affection I yearned for at an early age, a father's love I craved but never received, instead all I got was rejection and pain.
"Thank you so much for being there for her. I can't begin to imagine what would have happened had you not been there," he says as he reverts his eyes to me.
"There's no need to thank me, I just did what everyone else would have done," I smile politely in response.
Chuckling softly, he slightly shakes his head, disagreeing with what I just said, "Not everybody,"
"I'm just glad she's okay," I flicker my eyes to her and then back to him. How Melissa was brave enough to endure the pain makes her more adorable. After seeing that she's okay, I proceed to make my way out but come to a sudden halt upon hearing Ryan invite me to have lunch with them.
Turning to look at him, I'm stunned by how his blue eyes sparkle as they look into mine, they're filled with sincerity and generosity it's hard to turn down the invitation.
I catch myself gazing at his lips and upon seeing him looking at me bewildered, I avert my gaze from him. My cheeks start to turn crimson from the awkwardness and I should probably be leaving but my legs are paralyzed I can hardly move.
"Is everything okay?" his voice is laced with concern while his eyes hold mine -- slowly weakening me with every step he starts taking toward me. Why am I feeling like this?
"Ye-yeah ummm I just remembered that I was doing s-something before coming here so um-- I have to get back to that," I falter.
"Oh, no problem guess we can do this some other time?"
"Umm yeah," I lie. Spinning on my heel, I begin to make my way to the door.
"Becca," he calls, prompting me to halt just as I'm reaching for the doorknob.
"Again, thank you for today," he says solemnly.
Unable to say speak, I smile politely and turn around to open the door and get out before my strength betrays me.
* * *
**********"It sucks to be alone in a place like this, doesn't it?" A familiar, annoying voice comes up behind me. Carter.
Rolling my eyes, I pretend not to listen and proceed to stuff the cold mashed potatoes in my mouth.
With the cafeteria food looking less appealing each day, I'm still surprised by how I keep coming back, if Tessa was around she probably would have tossed this food in the bin like nobody was watching.
I love how confident she is, and how she does things even when the whole world is against her. She doesn't shy away from speaking her mind and if she's unhappy about something, she'll definitely let it be known. If only I was as courageous as her.
"Oh, I know you heard me," his voice prompts to flit my eyes to him. "What happened to your friend," he adds with a smirk on his face, "Thought you two are inseparable, like two peas in a pod,"
"What do you want Carter?" I scowl at him while I glance at him.
Putting both his hands flat on the table, he leans in, while his mesmerizing golden-brown eyes pierce into mine, nearly making me shudder.
"The project," he says after what felt like an eternity of awkward silence and intense gazing like it's some kind of a staring competition.
"What makes you think I'd want to be your partner?" I utter, sounding exasperated and curious at the same time.
"Lab partner," I immediately correct myself upon seeing him cock his eyebrow.
"Why not?" He smirks and I look at him - taken aback.
I scoff in response, probably wishing he would go away and let me get back to my miserable meal, "Just because we're the smartest people in class doesn't mean we should work together,"
Chuckling softly, he lowers his voice as he holds my eyes with his, "I meant why can't we be partners?"
He turns on the charming flirty face that gets the girls drooling over him, clenched jaw, narrowed slit eyes, and a slightly arched eyebrow.
Rolling my eyes, I get up from my seat and proceed to walk away from him.
"Too much to handle?" He exclaims, and right away, I turn around to look at him.
"Wh-what?" I puff out my cheeks while my eyes flap like a butterfly -- taken aback I can barely formulate a word. It's no surprise that he's a big flirt, however, him flirting with me is astounding.
"I know you like me Watson but don't worry, your secret's safe with me." He winks at me and then clicks his tongue.
"Yeah, you wish." I huff then swing my bag over my shoulder as I turn around to walk away.
"Oh hey, Watson!" He calls from afar and right away, I look over my shoulder to meet his eyes.
"Don't think too much of it, it was only a joke," he says as he shoves his hands in his pocket, and unlike before, he's looking serious.
I don't say anything, but rather, I roll my eyes and proceed to move my feet further away from him. What a jerk.
Making my way home, I trudge down the street, it's so quiet and empty I can hear my heart throbbing. I should have taken a bus. I grumble. My ride's not here and Jake would have been of help if he came to school today - or any other day. I really need a car of my own.
Not long after, a grey metallic Chevrolet Cruz pulls up just a short distance away from me, and the windows are tinted I can hardly see who's inside.
My true crime documentary expert instincts kick in and I accelerate my pace hoping whoever it is that's in the car won't catch up with me. I knew my 4 hours of watching true crime every week would come in handy.
"Becca! Becca," A male's voice repeatedly calls my name, and his voice starts to become familiar the closer he gets, and it doesn't take me long enough to realize who's in the car.
Ryan?!
~Wake Me Up~ I like to talk. That's why I can't karaoke in a private room. Those types of shenanigans are only good in a public space. ~ Liza LapiraI come to a halt and turn to look at him, he's rolled down the window and I can clearly see him. Radiant skin, a clean white T-shirt that hugs his body, a vibrant smile, and sparkling blue eyes that are slowly drowning me. Don't understand why that is."Are you alright? My apologies I-I didn't mean to scare you," he says and I can hear the sincerity in his voice. I am in awe of how humb
~Carry You~ A problem shared Is a problem halved ~ Katie M. John(Warning: This chapter contains some content that you may or may not find comfortable reading. #indecent exposure.) ~ ~ ~ ~I hold a coffee mug in one hand and scroll through my iPad with the other, I wouldn't say I've progressed with this report I've been working on for so long but it's almost due and I have to finish it."Do you need help?" Mom offers, her skin is so radiant with no bloodshot eyes or dark shadows under her eyes. She looks calm and free -- there's no rush in the things she's doing and neither does she look worried."No thanks, I got it all under control." I reply as I exhale a sharp breath, "I'm just intrigued by this research I've been working on about the 1963 equal pay act," "Ah I see" she res
~Broken~ Be positive stay happy and don't let the negativity of the world get you down ~ Germany Kent ~ ~ ~ ~I drift from sleep into wakefulness. Hearing noises coming from the other side of the room, I jump up off the couch and make fists for defense. My eyes are wide open, my heart's racing, and my chest is heaving. "Who's there?" I call out, my voice is calm though I'm shaking massively inside.It ca
*** The house is filled with vociferates and yelling from both of us, broken glasses are on the floor and things are scattered all over the place. Dismayed by the whole situation, I'm lost for words; my heart's beating out of my chest and it seems that none of us are bothered about the mess we've made. I'm surprised by how the neighbors can't hear us, we have never had such an intense altercation and I'm so apprehensive about one of us ending upphysically hurt. I'm sitting on the white marble floor in the corner of the dining room, a space so open you can see the door to the living room, I'm sobbing helplessly while gripping my front hair as I rock back and forth with my head facing the floor. Mascara is smudged under my eyes and I couldn't care less about the snot dripping from my nose. I feel drained and hopeless and with the little dignity I have left, I should be walking out that door, but how am I t
*** How disgusting of him to pull up such a move! I scrub my lips and rinse my mouth a couple of times. Still standing in front of the mirror, I struggle to erase the lines on my forehead. With every blink I make, flashes of what happened earlier appear. I can't erase it, I can't erase the memory. I glare at the mirror and all I can still see is him, from the time he put his hand on my face to the time he brushed his lips against mine, thankfully I didn't let him go that far but it still felt like a kiss, a kiss I didn't consent. So much resentment was brewing up inside me I stormed out of the mall without waiting for Tessa or thinking twice about how insane I was looking, I just wanted to get out of there, far away from him. Upon getting home, I was enfolded in silence. The house was empty, and I assumed mom was still at work, I can't imagine what her reaction would have been if she saw me like this.
*** "Watson!" Carter yells from behind. Ignoring him, I roll my eyes and increase my pace to try and get away from him. When he matches my pace, I hear his feet stamping on the ground and as soon as he catches up with me, I give up and turn around to face him. When he leans against the wall, he slightly curves forward and clutches his stomach while trying to catch his breath. "Jeez,Watson. You're training for a marathon or something?" He pants. "What do you want Carter?" I scowl at him and looking impatient as always every time I'm around him. How he still talks to me despite the I don't like you signs I've given him is still a mystery to me. How many more signs does one need in order to understand? "Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed, again." He comments faintly but audible enough. When I arch my eyebrow in response, he notices and his tone declines right away, this time sounding polite. "S
***House is cleaned, and the dishes are washed. Perfect. Knowing mom won't be back anytime soon I lock the door and head upstairs.It gets lonely most of the time when mom is working late. She does the most to take care of others and yet doesn't pay attention to her own needs and honestly, I'm worried for her. Pulling a note from the drawer, I stare at it for a while, contemplating whether or not I should call her Chief Nursing Officer. I have the power to call him but as always, I'm indecisive.Heaving a sigh, I pace around the room as the nerves fire off in my body. With these white walls surrounding me, I feel like I'm drowning in a state of panic I might lose the serenity of my mind. Maybe I should call him and end this once and for all, but what will happen to mom? I can't, I can't put her through this, no I need to find another solution.When the waves making vigorous troubled motions in my mind finally