Chapter 1 : Prologue to Darkness

**Trigger Warning. This book may contain the following topics that may be sensitive to readers: dubious consent, masochism, drug use, mental illness, mentions of previous assault or abuse, sexual harassment of a main character, kidnapping, abandonment, control, confinement, and attempted crimes. This book is rated 18+ due to content. Never in my life had I considered what it would be like to meet fate. To have what you thought was love turn into harsh realization of manic moments that never seemed to make sense. The haunted memories of my past were always too much for me to handle. The dark ways that my mind played tricks on me, constantly having me look over my shoulder as if waiting for him to appear, exhausted me to no end. Sometimes, I felt I was waiting for death to meet me with open arms as if I was meeting an old friend. The worst part of it all was I thought the pain of the mental abuse I sustained would never end, and I would be forced to succumb to the dark desires of Trevor—a man who should have protected me but instead made every inch of my life miserable. Thoughts of him sent shivers down my spine and made my stomach turn with disgust. If this was what men were like, I would never trust another one. Not that I could let a man in even if I wanted to. Trevor would kill anyone who tried to claim me. My body, as he stated, was for him and him alone. Payment for his kindness over the years, if that’s what it even was. The only thing he did was let me keep my virtue. At least until he wouldn’t get in trouble for taking it. My mind swirled to a place I tried too hard to avoid as I gripped the edge of my sink, once again slipping into memories that plagued my nightmares. *** Darkness filled the streets of Paris. The only lights that comforted me were from the street shops that held twinkling glimmers against the starry night sky. One would think Paris was a place that never slept, but it was deadly silent tonight. My heart raced with the anxiety that had flooded me from dinner. Never in my life had I thought to fear going home, but right now, I did. I had told my mother and stepfather that I needed to get some fresh air after dinner. That no I didn’t need someone to accompany me, but I should have known Trevor wouldn’t listen. Since the moment our parents had gotten married, he had laid more than enough hints out about his interest in me, and I wasn’t having it. My perverted stepbrother thought I was something attainable for him. The delusion in which he lived only fueled my disgust further. “No, Sasha. I’m okay. I just can’t believe that they allowed Trevor to go on this trip. He is, like, twenty years old, and should be off trying to get a wife or something.” She sighed into the phone as I passed an open cafe. The sweet yet spicy aroma of coffee drew me in like an old friend. “I want you to be careful around him, Nessa. The guy creeps me out, and you don’t know what he is capable of.” “I know,” I replied, feeling more helpless than I should have. “Look, I only have to deal with him a few more days and he will be heading to London while we head back to the States. Then it's one year of school left, and you and I will both be heading to the east coast to get away from our shitty lives.” Not that my life was actually shitty. It was just Trevor that made it feel that way. “That’s the spirit. Think positively and just avoid that asshole at all costs.” “I will.” I smiled, even though she couldn’t see me. “I’ll talk to you later.” “Okay, love you.” “Love you too.” Hanging up my cell phone, I pushed forward down the cobbled streets of Paris towards the hotel we were staying in. We had taken a taxi to dinner, but I had walked it with my mother only a few days before when we were shopping. The fresh air was worth the burn of my thighs. I turned the corner onto the street our hotel lay on, and an eerie feeling crawled up my spine as if someone was watching me. It was a feeling I often felt from Trevor, and as I glanced around, I quickly realized he was walking up the street behind me. Shit. There was no way I was going to allow myself to be alone with him and as I pressed forward, I tried to hurry and get back before he did, but as the footsteps behind me quickened, I knew I was running out of options. A firm arm around my waist caused me to scream out as I was pulled towards a darkened ally. My back was thrown against the brick wall of the building, and Trevor’s hand came down over my mouth. His dark green eyes shone down on me through the darkness, my own eyes pricking with unshed tears. I knew what he wanted. I knew the games he played, and there was a chance this time I wouldn’t get away. “You’ve been avoiding me, Vanessa,” he said, causing a shiver of disgust to rush down my spine. Shaking my head, I tried to push back my fear. If he thought I was scared it would make things worse. That was the game he played. Strategic mind games that left me feeling guilty while he had everyone around him believing he was a saint. Slowly moving his hand, he smiled down at me, his free hand brushing down the side of my face, over my neck, and over the top of my chest. I felt completely violated, but I couldn’t say anything. I couldn’t scream. If I did, I’d be punished. All I could do was play along. “Trevor, what are you doing? You know we can’t,” I told him, trying to play sweet to get him to leave me alone. “Why not? You have been avoiding me, and you know I don’t like it.” Nodding, I turned the sweetness up a notch as my hand touched the side of his face. I wanted to slap him, kick him in his balls, anything to get away from him. But instead, I stayed complacent and allowed him to hold me so that I didn’t anger him. “I haven’t been avoiding you, Trevor. I have to pretend like nothing is going on so our parents don’t find out. You know this. If my mother found out, she would destroy everything. Don’t you remember the talk we had before?” The talk I was referring to was the one we had a month ago when he came into my room late one night and thought he could take advantage of me. I had never been so scared in my life, but thankfully, I was able to make him believe that his dad was awake so he backed off with the promise he could have me once I turned eighteen. Not that I would ever let that happen. With a heavy sigh, he gritted his teeth and nodded. “I hate waiting, Vanessa.” “I know you do, but once I’m eighteen, you won’t be able to get into trouble. And I’ll be an adult so I can do what I want.” “I know,” he replied, stepping away from me. My legs felt like jelly, my knees threatening to buckle as I stood before him. But I couldn’t show weakness. I couldn’t show any flaws to my performance. Because if he knew I was lying, I’d never get away again. “It’s only nine months, and you will be off at college. So when you come home for my graduation, you can have everything you’ve ever wanted,” I reminded him, watching as his face lit up with excitement over that notion. “You’re right. I’ll try and contain myself until then, Vanessa.” Leaning forward, I swore he was going to kiss me, but instead, he placed a gentle kiss on the side of my cheek before turning me towards the exit of the alley. His hand gave me a good swat on my backside as I quickened my pace, my feet hitting the sidewalk once more as I all but ran towards the hotel with tears in my eyes. I had managed to get away again, but I knew it wouldn’t happen next time. He was leaving for London soon, then college. But in nine months, he would be coming for me. Coming for the promise I gave him, and if I didn’t find a way out of it fast…I’d end up his prisoner forever.