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17. The Start
"You look stunning," Abubakar drawled adoringly at Zeenah, who was dressed in a red and white Ankara sewed into skirt and blouse. Her hair was simply parked in the middle of her head, and her headgear tied in steps.
“You think? I personally think you look way too handsome to go out. I can imagine so many women tripping and falling for you.”
‘Oh!” Abubakar replied, a smile tugging at the edge of his lips, ‘it’s their lost then because I’ve got only eyes on you.’ He wiped the extra lip balm by the side of her lips and smiled.
Zeenah smiled and held his left hand in hers, “shall we get going?”
“Sure, after you beautiful.”
They were going to visit their families. Starting with visiting Abubakar’s uncle, and then Zeenah’s family. Ever since they got married, Zeenah had only visited both families twice. They boug
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Broken Within 18. Mixed Feelings
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Broken Within 19. Rough?
Halfway through the ninth month of their marriage, Abubakar’s determination to get get her pregnant had become all-consuming. She half suspected he would most probably hurt her if he knew she was still secretly taking birth control pills, so she hid them in one of her purses shoved back in a corner of their closet.Convinced that the problem was her, it couldn’t possibly be him; Abubakar sent her to the doctor. She cried in the doctor’s office for an hour, telling him she felt anxious and miserable and had no idea why, and came home with a prescription for antidepressants.“You can’t take that crap,” Abubakar said, crumpling the slip of paper and tossing it into the trash. “It might be bad for the baby.”Their nonexistent baby. She thought guiltily of the pill she took every morning, a secret act that had become her last desperate bid for autonomy. It was difficult on the wee
Broken Within 20. A Beast
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Broken Within 21. Woe To You
Three days laterShe felt as if she were floating. Her eyes were closed, and everything about her felt soft, a luxuriating fluffiness like the satin down comforter her grandma used to have. She thought she must have been sleeping. There was a not-unpleasant heaviness to her limbs, like the time she could finally sit down after standing and walking in the market for hours.Then her brain started to focus in a peculiar sort of way, powerless over thoughts that surfaced unbiddenly. Abubakar suddenly came to mind...how he had gotten her this way, and how she longed to tell Maam, but couldn't. Maama. . .As her consciousness began to return, she tried without success to open her eyes. Something tight and sticky was holding her lids together. Now she knew she was s
Broken Within 22. Leave
The words kept echoing in her ears as she stood rooted in the same position she had been ever since she came out to the backyard.'Zeenatu, Allah ya wadaran haihuwarki!' (Woe to the day you were begotten)What had happened to make Maama so angry as to utter such words to her? Zeenah wondered as thick tears rolled out her eyes."Never in my life have I ever regretted ever doing something like how I regret being your mother right now" Maama roared angrily. One can easily notice that Maama was not in her right senses. "Me za'ayi da haihuwa irin taki, Zeenatu? (Woe to the day you were begotten) Nothing except heartache and high blood pressure? Zeenatu, what had I achieved by being your mother?""Maama..." Zeenah started in a broken voice but couldn't continue due to the high pitched cry from her mother."I seek your forgiveness Oh God. Zeenatu is part of my qadr (destiny) and I pray y
Broken Within 23. Dear Mother
The room was eerily silent after Inna made that announcement."What are you saying?" Malam Kabir said softly."I won't let you send her away like this, Malam. We can settle everything without putting blame on anyone. What would sending her away do?""At least, I won't see her face and feel like beating her to a plump all the time.""Malam, please, you need to reconsider your decision.""There is nothing to consider woman! Zeenatu has to leave this house. I no more have a daughter named Zeenatu, ever!""Then, as I said, I'll be leaving with her. We'll come back when you're calm.""The moment you step out of this house, then you're no more my wife."Zeenah's heart slammed loudly at her father's words. What had she done to her family? She was trying to destroy everything that has been built for years, years before she had been born.
Broken Within 24. Talks
It was decided that Zeenah should go live with her Uncle for some time as things settled down. Zeenah didn't like the idea, but she understood the logic behind it.Fortunately, she had no problem whatsoever staying at her uncle's. Her cousins were amazing and her siblings visit from time to time, most especially Khadija, and she speaks with Maama on the phone every day. Her dad was the only one still distant regarding what happened, but her mum had been as supportive as she could, and that had helped Zeenah in ways she couldn't have gotten through. She was in the second month of her Iddah (waiting period after a divorce), and along with it, Zeenah had been repenting.She's still yet to speak to Samirah about what had happened, though Samirah also visits from time to time, she didn't ask about what had transpired between her friend and her ex-husband. For now, what matters the most was that Zeenah was safe and alive.*
Broken Within 25. A Psychopath
For the next three months, Zeenah healed outwardly, the bruises fading, and she started going twice a week to a therapist. Having never been to a therapist before, she expected she was going to have to lie back on a sofa and talk while some impersonal white-coated professional took notes.Instead, she was welcomed into a small, cosy office with a sofa upholstered in flowered yellow twill, by a therapist who didn’t seem all that much older than her. Her name was Karima Shehu, and she was beautiful in her own way and sociable. It was a relief beyond description to unburden herself to her. She was understanding and smart, and as Zeenah described things she had felt and gone through, it seemed she had the power to unlock the mysteries of the universe.Karima said Abubakar's behaviour fit the pattern of someone with a narcissistic personality disorder, which was common for abusive husbands. As the doctor explained about the di
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