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21. Woe To You
Three days later
She felt as if she were floating. Her eyes were closed, and everything about her felt soft, a luxuriating fluffiness like the satin down comforter her grandma used to have. She thought she must have been sleeping. There was a not-unpleasant heaviness to her limbs, like the time she could finally sit down after standing and walking in the market for hours.
Then her brain started to focus in a peculiar sort of way, powerless over thoughts that surfaced unbiddenly. Abubakar suddenly came to mind...how he had gotten her this way, and how she longed to tell Maam, but couldn't. Maama. . .
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Broken Within 22. Leave
The words kept echoing in her ears as she stood rooted in the same position she had been ever since she came out to the backyard.'Zeenatu, Allah ya wadaran haihuwarki!' (Woe to the day you were begotten)What had happened to make Maama so angry as to utter such words to her? Zeenah wondered as thick tears rolled out her eyes."Never in my life have I ever regretted ever doing something like how I regret being your mother right now" Maama roared angrily. One can easily notice that Maama was not in her right senses. "Me za'ayi da haihuwa irin taki, Zeenatu? (Woe to the day you were begotten) Nothing except heartache and high blood pressure? Zeenatu, what had I achieved by being your mother?""Maama..." Zeenah started in a broken voice but couldn't continue due to the high pitched cry from her mother."I seek your forgiveness Oh God. Zeenatu is part of my qadr (destiny) and I pray y
Broken Within 23. Dear Mother
The room was eerily silent after Inna made that announcement."What are you saying?" Malam Kabir said softly."I won't let you send her away like this, Malam. We can settle everything without putting blame on anyone. What would sending her away do?""At least, I won't see her face and feel like beating her to a plump all the time.""Malam, please, you need to reconsider your decision.""There is nothing to consider woman! Zeenatu has to leave this house. I no more have a daughter named Zeenatu, ever!""Then, as I said, I'll be leaving with her. We'll come back when you're calm.""The moment you step out of this house, then you're no more my wife."Zeenah's heart slammed loudly at her father's words. What had she done to her family? She was trying to destroy everything that has been built for years, years before she had been born.
Broken Within 24. Talks
It was decided that Zeenah should go live with her Uncle for some time as things settled down. Zeenah didn't like the idea, but she understood the logic behind it.Fortunately, she had no problem whatsoever staying at her uncle's. Her cousins were amazing and her siblings visit from time to time, most especially Khadija, and she speaks with Maama on the phone every day. Her dad was the only one still distant regarding what happened, but her mum had been as supportive as she could, and that had helped Zeenah in ways she couldn't have gotten through. She was in the second month of her Iddah (waiting period after a divorce), and along with it, Zeenah had been repenting.She's still yet to speak to Samirah about what had happened, though Samirah also visits from time to time, she didn't ask about what had transpired between her friend and her ex-husband. For now, what matters the most was that Zeenah was safe and alive.*
Broken Within 25. A Psychopath
For the next three months, Zeenah healed outwardly, the bruises fading, and she started going twice a week to a therapist. Having never been to a therapist before, she expected she was going to have to lie back on a sofa and talk while some impersonal white-coated professional took notes.Instead, she was welcomed into a small, cosy office with a sofa upholstered in flowered yellow twill, by a therapist who didn’t seem all that much older than her. Her name was Karima Shehu, and she was beautiful in her own way and sociable. It was a relief beyond description to unburden herself to her. She was understanding and smart, and as Zeenah described things she had felt and gone through, it seemed she had the power to unlock the mysteries of the universe.Karima said Abubakar's behaviour fit the pattern of someone with a narcissistic personality disorder, which was common for abusive husbands. As the doctor explained about the di
Broken Within 26. Never Ever
Saying she was frightened was an understatement. She was shuddering within her body, and her heart was beating hastily against her ribcage, she felt as though it would explode. Her eyes stung with tears, and she willed herself to stay strong and not shed a tear in front of him."What do you want?" She said bitingly, feeling confident when her voice didn't crack."Babe," he said softly again, as he moved close to her.Zeenah stood her ground and refused to bulge. She wouldn't give him that pleasure of seeing how scared of him she was."I've missed you," he added. "But it looks as though you're doing okay, with no thoughts about me. Can't you see how desperate I am?"The guts of this man! Zeenah thought miserably. She hissed and turned away. Staying in the same place as he suffocates her. She can't handle even seeing him for so long."Please, wait." Abubakar pleaded, but Zee
Broken Within 27. The Meeting
Zeenah's face was devoid of any emotions as she listened to her mother. "I don't understand, Maama," she finally said."I said," Maama started all over again, "what do you think of the idea of getting married, again?""Maama," Zeenah whispered brokenly, her voice shaking. "Don't do this to me, please.""I shouldn't do what?" Maama asked soothingly. "I shouldn't advise you to get married again? You think I like seeing you all broken and in pain each and every day?""Maama...""I understand you need time, but from what I understood, it won't change anything in you. It will only make you hate him more, with each passing day, you hate Abubakar more than you hated him yesterday. I can see it in your eyes, and that, my dear, is not a healthy trait.""But I don't want to get married anymore," by now, Zeenah was crying so hard, heart-wrenching tears rolled down her cheeks in folds
Broken Within 28. Not Again
She reeled back, trying to break free, but he followed her across the threshold. Abubakar's smile never wavered. She knocked his hand away from her and faced him, trying to keep the alarm from showing on her face.She was in the middle of a nightmare. She thought it couldn’t be real, except that misery and fear and anger were swarming over her like insects, and that feeling was all too familiar. It had been her reality for almost two years.She woke up with a start, sweating all over and her breathing a lot heavier than normal breathing. It was dark, and as she checked her phone for the time, it was 2:00 am.Slipping down from her bed, Zeenah decided to pray through the night to relieve her fear. It had now become a constant fit for her to dream about Abubakar almost every night. She goes through the day burying herself into her studies and her day to day activities.When will she ever get r
Broken Within 29. Thoughts
Her eyes blurred, and she wasn't sure if she had heard her father right, or if she did hear him wrong. She had no idea. But as she looked up again and saw the pain in her father's eyes, Zeenah knew that she had heard him right. He wants to marry her off. And she couldn't help but feel helpless, terrible. She had no idea she was hyperventilating until she felt her mum close to her, telling her to breath in and out."I think we should adjourn this seating until she's calm enough," Maama said worriedly."I think so, too. But we are going to go through with the wedding. I won't sit back and watch my daughter live in pain, live in her past life. Let's just hope that this doesn't crumble her more," her father said."I can vouch on the young man. His dad is a very good man and I've never heard of anything bad about the boy. In fact, he had been married once too, and as I explained, he's also closed off about women and relationshi
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