My Death Is Coming

As I pulled the door knob, I was relieved to see it was Cameron. My friends and colleagues. He was holding a box of donuts in his hands... 

I placed the knife on the side table and he looked at the knife and said, " O My God! What were you doing with a knife?"

" This is for the guys like you to keep away from me, and from my house.""

" I never knew how dangerous and scary a woman you are?"

" You don't know a lot of things about me," What are you doing so early at my door?""

" Honey, Bee!"" What in a world you are living in," It's eleven.'' ``He said, pushing the door inside.He went straight inside without acknowledging the fact I was still standing at the doorway.

" What are you doing, man?"" And, what's in that box?""

" Oh, this!"" Donuts for your sweet bee, and come with me.""

We both made our way inside the living room and slammed down on the couch, placing the donut box on the coffee table.

" Coffee, or tea?"" I ask, Cameron.

" I don't need anything and just want to talk to you, how is everything going on?"

He says he's with a grin on his face and I can't tell if he is seriously happy or if he did something wrong.

" What did you do wrong, now?"" Answer me honestly, Cameron."" You'll never bring me a donut, unless you did something wrong.""

He began laughing nervously and patted my shoulder and said, " I've never done anything wrong, especially for you."" I want you to be happy, so I did something without asking you."

I held his hand from my shoulder and removed it and said, " Cut through this shit!Come to the point, Cameron! I'm not here to play the guessing game.

" You are scaring me, man!"" Jeannie, you know.""

" What have you done, Cameron?"

" Okay, I'm telling you just don't get mad at me."

" I will, not!"" But if I don't like it, then I'll beat your ass off!"

" Look, I'm your good friend and I can feel your life is boring and unexciting so, I decided to take charge in my own hands to fill with your day with happy colors by bringing a man in your life so, I set up your date with one of my friends who's single like you."

"Well, what?"" Are you being real, man?" Who told you my life was boring? I've a cat who loves me and I love her. I've a job and you as a friend, what else do I need?"

" A boyfriend and cat, don't talk."" I can't be with you, always." You need someone in your life, Jeannie. My friend Adam is perfect for you."

" I can't do that, Cameron!"" If you'll tell me to hang myself down from the ceiling fan, I can do for you trust me only for you but going on a date I can't do it sorry.""

" Why, can't you?"" Why are you so terrified of meeting a guy?" He made reservations for tonight only for you. You can't do this to someone like him. He is so extraordinarily handsome."

" Who told you to arrange a date, for me?""Well, I've never said that.""

" Well, you're going to meet Adam tonight."" I'm not hearing any of you, got it." And we only have a few hours to get ready."

He got up and picked up my cat Biggie from the floor who were lurking around his feet and trying to get his attention and he took her with him inside my bedroom. 

" Come on, biggie, let's find an outfit for your mum.""Well, I need your help."He said to be a biggie.

I was still sitting, peering at the glazed donuts thinking about the fact I never went on the date in four years. I'll never be opening up myself in front of anyone but how can I explain to Cameron. He doesn't even know what I'm hiding inside of me.What dark past I've been hiding from everyone? My soul was horrified by thinking of my past.

I ran my fingers through my hair, thinking what should I do? How can I stop this? 

" Jeannie, come on!Come on in!" Cameron call me. I got up and trudged through the hallway to go into my bedroom.As I walked through my bedroom door, I saw him going through my closet.

" What are you doing, man?"

" Looking for you, something to wear on the date."

"Well, I'm not going."

" You don't need to stress out, Leave up everything to me today. I'm your fairy godfather."

He dragged me down on a chair in the vanity and started doing my hair. He curled my hair using the curling iron and then he did my smokey eyes makeup with bold red lipstick.

Next, he took my silk dress which was only nice in my closet. Cameron left me alone with my dress and tons of anxiety. This dress was a tube of finely pleated silk, each pleat as fine as a harp string... Driven by an urge I didn't question, I quickly shed my clothes and slipped the dress over my head. Knotting the belt around her waist, I went to the mirror. My reflection stunned me. The natural elasticity of the pleats defined my curves molding like rows of vines to the contours of the land... I stared at my face, growing leaner and far more beautiful. Unable to blink or move, I felt an unbearable sadness swinging through me. Tears began to curb down my cheeks. Where did this grief come from? ... It came from a terrible cause and one without remedy. The woman in the mirror flared her hair back at her in desperate appeal.

" Why, I see nothing but filth and guilt across my face?"" Why am I so hated by my own existence?" I'm not that girl anymore. The girl who was scared of his shadow? Who did everything on the one order for him? I'm not that fucking girl anymore!!! I just don't stress out, everything will be fine. I left my past behind and I just needed to move on. I can do it,I can do it. The haze faded away from my life."

I cleaned my smudge liner and fixed my make-up and wore a pair of black pencil heels. I looked at my reflections and smiles.

Next, I went straight out of my bedroom, holding a nice dazzling Jewel hand clutch. When Cameron looked at me fully jacked up, his nearly got dropped to the ground.

" Wow, my darling if I don't have a boyfriend.I would be seriously dating you. "

I rolled my eyes, SHUT UP! And this is the last time I'm doing this and taking care of biggie and my house."

" Don't worry about it, man." He walked me up to the door.I reminded him where everything is, cooking and cleaning.And especially what things he should not touch?

" Take a few deep breaths," And relax, I got everything under control... Me and Miss Biggie have a lot of fun tonight. Go have fun!"

I was sitting in the back seat of the taxi, looking out of the window. There's a booming, rotating, never sleeping city in the center of my brain and nobody can come in and I can't escape. I have a strange sense of pride that my brain works that way, but I'm also terrified of what would happen if I ever tried to think in another way. 

The driver pulled the car aside and I hopped out of the car and saw a Japanese restaurant across the street. I looked down on my phone and the address Cameron sent me. According to the address, I was at the right place. I'm treading through the road. I fixed my dress and hair and The building was very old and badly in need of a fresh coat of paint. There were also several roof tiles missing. Not exactly a five-star restaurant.

The large sign hanging in the front window was slightly tilted to the left because some broken ceiling tiles were coming out of place. It was hard to miss the brightly lit neon blinking sign that read, “T sunami”. From the front windows, I could see the tables inside and it did not appear to be very crowded. At the entrance of the restaurant, there was a bronze statue of a pudgy monk sitting crossed legged with his large belly bulging out and a huge smile on his face. As I stepped inside, my ears filled with the sound of booming noises that came from customers.

It was obvious from the sound of laughter and chatter that everyone was having a good time. 

A friendly hostess is standing at the entrance like myself and she approached me and says's," Good evening ma'am, Do you have a reservation?

" My friend has a reservation for a table, His name is Adam Lamar.""

She checks her list and holds me on Wait for a moment and then she says, " I found it and please come with me."

I followed her to the table and no one was there. I guess, I came early, I sat down on the table and the hostess offered me the drinks menu.

" Thank you so much," I say, and she gives me a beautiful smile." I observed the restaurant. The whole ambiance of the restaurant was romantic and cozy. The floor was wooden. All the decorations were delicate. There were tablecloths on the tables and the tables looked neat. 

I shifted my attention to the drinks menu and after a short amount of time, a server came to my table to take my order.

" Good evening, I'm Kevin. I'll be your server for tonight." Did you decide on anything to drink?"

I scanned the menu and decided that I wanted to have Nihonshu for a drink. He laid down the food menu on the table and said, '"Great choice, Ma'am." I'll come with your drink."He says, and goes off to the bar." I glanced over to my wrist watch and it was past 9 and still no sign of Adam or his soul.

Another alone night in my world all by myself. I took my phone out of my handbag.

I dialed Cameron's number and called him. He picked up my call and I said, " Hello, Cameron."

" Yes, sweet Bee, how is everything going?" Did you like him? And you don't need to call me for say thanks."

" Slow down, man!" He hasn't even come yet! I've been waiting for your Adam from the past half an hour and he still hasn't show up."

" Seriously, girl!" " He still hasn't come, give me a second I'll call him and ask him, where is he at?"

" Oh no, Don't call him I'm coming back."" I guess your plan has flopped."

" Don't come back, please..."" Just wait, for a few more minutes." He might be stuck in a traffic jam. "

Before words left my mouth somebody just snatched the phone from my hand, leaving me in utter confusion and when I looked up at the man he had already dismissed the call.

"WHAT THE HELL, WHO ARE YOU?"" I yelled out loud, and caught everyone's attention around me."

Out of the blue, another man came up from the entrance and told everyone to leave the restaurant immediately. I was shocked and didn't know what was happening.

"WHO ARE YOU, GUYS?" WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? YOU SICK! I demanded, but they didn't say anything but stood like a statue. I tried to retrieve my phone from him but he pulled up a gun and placed it on my forehead. I froze, unable to breathe the air caught in my throat.

The gun mouth was towards me, any second he'd trigger the gun. A bullet will pass through me, The first time I see my death so close... Just a blink of an eye away and I will be in the dark abyss without any pain, any guilt, any memory and any fear. I wasn't afraid of death. I find death more peaceful than living a life like mine, living in fear and shadow. I shut my eyes tightly.