Prologue

The moment he turned his eyes on me, I saw darkness. There's nothing but a pitch black reflection of what he truly feels inside. Just like his name, he feels like a dead body, lifeless corpse that wanted to get out of his grave.

"I hope I could make you feel better," I whispered and stared at his dark orbs. Combing his hair with my fingers, my lips landed on his forehead.

He looked at me, amusingly. The way Corpse focuses his eyes on me makes me feel like I am a bright star he's been staring in the night sky for so long. How I wish it would last forever.

"You just did," he replied and took my left hand, caressing it gently with his fingers.

I smiled, just like how I always do to let him know that everything will be okay. It already became a habit of me to be by his side whenever his anxiety attacks him. It may seem like a tough job, but I do this for him and because of the guilt that I have been feeling since the day I saw how messed up his life is.

Corpse is sensitive; everyone knows that not because he's spoiled by his Pops that could give him everything that he wanted, but because of how he had been through the past. I was there, uncertain of what was really happening to him. I saw his bruises, cuts, his black-eyes, and his broken arm. However, I did nothing but to stare at him with confused look. I wish I helped him in the past. He won't carry these boulders on his shoulders if I didn't turn a blind-eye.

"I'm sorry," I spoke. His brows furrowed.

"Sorry for what?"

"For everything." I stared at him, letting my eyes speak for the unspoken words I have stuck in my head for so long.

I don't deserve Corpse, or his eyes showering me with so much attention. I've done so much that I couldn't even look at his eyes without feeling my chest clench with guilt.

I went home after making sure that he's alright. The moment I arrived at my apartment, I went straight to my bed and buried my face to the pillows. Kicking and punching myself, the tears from my eyes started flowing uncontrollably.

I wish I could turn back the time where I was on that store, where I told my mom everything I knew about him. Maybe I could help myself from getting out of this mess we never wanted.

With all the strength I still possess, I went to my desk and opened my laptop. Adrenaline rushed through my system as my fingers tapped every letter of my email account, clicking as if it is the end of the world.

Just when I was about to open my email to cancel my manuscript, I froze upon seeing a message coming from the editors. At that moment, I knew I messed up so bad. I'm supposed to be happy right now.

This is my dream. This is what I want in life, and I am one of the luckiest people who have given a chance to publish my craft. But the more I think about it know all I want is to slit my neck with a sharp knife and curse myself to die.

I am shameless. How could I betray Corpse when he loves me so much?