Mindlessly Mindful

Whatever scattered memories my brain has recollected are enough. Like seriously, it’s ENOUGH to want me to dig a grave, find a coffin and nail me inside it.

Rather, I’d set myself on fire.

I buried my face in a pillow and muffled a yell that erupted from the depth of my heart. Did I do all of that?

‘You are still having self doubts? Seriously? Well…no, you did not do it, sweety?’

‘I did not?’ I clung to Ella with hope. Maybe, she’d remember something I do not. My heart stops beating in anticipation for a moment.

‘Nope! No, your doppelganger ascended the earth to especially create your drunken catastrophe and humiliate the shit out of you, Bitch with capital B!’ Ella snickers sternly. A permanent expression she has seemingly opted for… forever.

I groan aloud.

‘Shut up, Ella! Now is not the time.’ I roll my eyes and nibble on my nails. I squeeze my eyes to erase the images of last night that flash in a loop.

‘What the hell had gotten into my head? Mother Earth, I beg you to