Chapter 137

Perrin

Lo watches me, her expression careful. I don’t know why it hurts this much. It shouldn’t. Not like this.

We knew I’d be leaving for a couple of weeks. We knew we’d be separated for that long, and that she’d be staying behind.

But faced with the reality of saying goodbye again, and with little preparation–only a few hours? It fills me with anxiety. Nervous, palpable, horrible tension. Maybe it’s the mating bond. Maybe it grows stronger over time, a magnet that grows with its force to keep us together. Maybe it’s the fact that she’s carrying my child and I can’t bear the idea of putting distance between the three of us. But whatever it is, it’s gut-wrenching. My heart feels like it’s being ripped out of my chest. I shudder, trying not to return to that place I was when I faced exile months ago, but the looming dread is too similar; too reminiscent of what could have been.

The look on Lo’s face shows that she feels just the same. Her eyes are a mirror of the pain I feel in ever