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Chapter Twenty-eight
Oliver
I never knew waking up with someone in my arms could be so fantastic—the warmth of her skin, her hypnotic breathing, and her rose-scented hair. I never wanted to wake up any other way.
Ever since Elsie and I made love in her compartment, I kept finding myself desperate to taste her again. It didn’t matter where we were, as long as no one was around. In a tent, behind the train, her compartment, in the woods, in the storage cart, our lips kept finding each other.
Elsie was making me drunk off of her. I wanted to be with her constantly, but it was a dangerous addiction. I never let my eyes linger too long on Elsie. It was torture to know I couldn’t openly give her all of my time and affection.
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Cirque du Lune Chapter Twenty-nine
Elsie “Don’t you think you are getting a little reckless?” Shirley brushed through her long locks as she looked up at me. “What do you mean?” I hopped up on Shirley’s vanity as she continued to primp herself. Shirley let out a sigh when her brush clacked as she set it down on the vanity. “You know what I mean. I can smell him all over you. You need to be more careful.” Shirley rummaged through a few vials of perfume and handed me one. “Here, this one is the strongest one I have.” “Thanks.” I slipped off the counter and spritzed the perfume over my body. “I guess I slipped up this time.” “This time?” Shirey raised her eyebrow at me as she took the glass bottle back from my hands. “Honey, I mean this with love, but you two only have blinkers for each other. I swear you two are acting like horny kids.” Shirley picked up her powder puff and patted her cheeks. She was right. I had been getting way too comfortable throwing myself at Oliver a
Cirque du Lune Chapter Thirty
Elsie I heard my name being screamed, but it didn’t matter. Whoever they were, it was too late. My body became trapped in the fabric and plummeted to the ground. Oliver wasn’t there to save me this time; no one was. When I stepped off the side of the cliff, I had adrenaline rushing through my veins, and I had fallen into a river. This time, nothing was there to numb the pain as my body smacked into the earth with a crunch—every fiber of my being screamed in pain. I had to have broken numerous bones. I heard voices, but they were a distorted mess. Smeared faces danced across my eyes as I tried to look around me. My eyesight started to darken. Was this it? Had I finally managed to kill myself? “Elsie!” a familiar voice called to me; their tone was dripping in fear. Who was that? “Elsie!” There it was again. Why did I feel so bad about hearing them like that? The faces were jumbling around. Who was all here? I finally found something to f
Cirque du Lune Chapter Thirty-one
OliverWhen I saw the flood of people rushing to the big top, my stomach dropped. I knew something had happened, but I would have never expected it to be my Elsie, sprawled out on the ground.Blood was splattered across the ground; her eyes were barely open. She seemed dazed and confused. People were surrounding her like she was a caged animal in a zoo. Jules rushed in, and the crowd split like Moses splitting the Red Sea to let him through. He was forcing people away from her.I wanted to reach out, pull her into my arms and comfort her, but I couldn’t. From the murmurs echoing through the tent, she would be fine. I was on the verge of a breakdown when her eyelashes fluttered closed when I felt a hand clasp my shoulder.
Cirque du Lune Chapter Thirty-two
Oliver Over the years, I had felt all sorts of pain and loneliness, but right now, I felt like I had fallen into a dark pit with not even a beam of light to give me comfort. Everywhere I went, I was reminded of Elsie, or worse, I saw her. Before, she enchanted me, enthralled me, and gave me something to rely on, something to reach for. Now sadness crashed over me like a tidal wave every time I caught a glimpse of her. She seemed so unaffected by the distance, and I guess that was the difference between us. I was always going to be the weak one who couldn't hold a candle to her. She would be strong and beautiful, always out of my reach. I found myself hanging around the humans more because I didn't feel as inferior, at least next to them. I saw the pity that lingered in Carl and Shirley's eyes that repelled me from them. That look wasn't helping me; if anything, it made me spiral deeper and deeper. "Come on, Oliver. Have another drink." John slurred as
Cirque du Lune Chapter Thirty-three
Elsie As soon as I heard the knock on my door, I knew it would not end well. I could smell the cheap booze and cigarettes permeating from outside my door. I silently pleaded for Oliver to go away. I knew he was plastered, but I also knew who was lingering nearby. Stupid Jules had already visited me earlier, trying to convince me to fool around with him, but of course, that would never happen. If only Oliver hadn’t shown up tonight of all nights. “Jules, leave him alone. You know he’s drunk.” I clambered out of bed and rushed to the door. I didn’t trust what Jules would do to him. “Even drunk people need to be taught a lesson, Elsie.” I knew the dangers that lurked in those words. Unfortunately, over the years, I had witnessed Jules’s “necessary” evils, and none of them were necessary, in my opinion. Most of his actions were cruel and twisted. “What are you going to do?” I asked as my heart hammered in my chest. “Nothing that concerns y
Cirque du Lune Chapter Thirty-four
OliverI looked up at the cold metal ceiling; black spots freckled across my vision. An angry humming echoed in my ears. A salty iron flavor rolled around in my mouth. Every breath hurt. My body felt so heavy; my head felt like I had split it open.“Oh, honey, don’t move.” A voice called out to me, but I couldn’t place them because their voice almost seemed to be muffled, like I was listening to them through water. Was it Elsie? I hoped it was. I just wanted to focus on those beautiful eyes and get lost in them.It wasn’t Elsie, though. My heart and hopes shattered. “Pepper?”“Oh, they did a number on you—poor thing.” I squinted up at her; yeah, that was Pepper, alright. I shifted and tried to sit up, but pain rushed over me. “Careful, take it easy.”I blinked my eyes as I tried to figure out where I was. I was on a hay-filled mattress on the floor in what looked like a kitchen
Cirque du Lune Chapter Thirty-five
OliverThe days seemed to grow longer, and everyday time passed slower. I stopped trying to seek out Elsie, and I pretended like we never existed together. If this is what I could do to make her safer, then that’s what I had to do. I would never forgive myself if I were the reason she got hurt.I spent my days doing my job, avoiding Jules, Eddie, and Elsie. It’s not like I could avoid Grady. I felt like our dynamic didn’t change much, and I think that confused me more than anything. If anything, I swear his stare had softened, and that just gave me the damn shivers.John and I were out under the stars, breaking down the last tent with other roustabouts so we could leave yet another town. We hastily made our way around, untying ropes until the tent started t
Cirque du Lune Chapter Thirty-six
Elsie The spotlight didn’t feel the same anymore after Jules tried to red light Oliver. It was as if the world part had lost its luster and sparkle. My heart wasn’t in life like it used to be. I swear the colors grew dimmer, and things I enjoyed seemed to fizzle. I found myself sinking deeper into myself and spending more and more time alone in my compartment. One of the few things that I liked to do was sleep. Sleeping let time run through my fingers like sand. I didn’t have to think or focus. It was just me and a darkness that didn’t want anything from me. I hadn’t felt this way in a long time. My body felt heavy, and I was so tired all the time. When I looked in the mirror, I saw dark puffy bags and gaunt skin. “You know you are looking worse every day.” Shirley sat in front of me, stirring a cup of steaming tea. Her face was twisting as she painstakingly scrutinized my face. “Thanks,” I mumbled as I fell backward onto Shirley’s bed. Her sh
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