#CollisionKab18
Tahimik ako habang nagfi-fitting. Medyo sumikip na sa akin ang pinili kong gown. Ina-adjust ng tailor ang aking damit sa pamamagitan ng paglagay ng pins. Natutusok ako ng kaunti ngunit hindi ko madama ang sakit.
Austin's words keep playing like a broken record at the back of my mind.
"Because the girl I love is getting married."
Did Nic invite him?
I decided to text our wedding planner about it.
Rosie: Hi! Can you send me the list of guests for the wedding?
Tumunog ang phone ko at nakitang may PDF file na sinend. Agad kong binuksan
#CollisionKab19"Austin..." I unconsciously slurred. I woke up, feeling dizzy. Medyo umaalon pa ang paningin ko."Rosie! Thank God!" sabi ni Nic. Worry filled his eyes as he held my hand. He looked at me, a flash of misery reflected on his eyes. Medyo namumula ang mga mata niya ngayon.What...what happened?Kita ko'y nakahiga ako sa isang kama, nakasuot ng hospital gown. Nasa ospital ba talaga ako? Anong nangyari? Pagtingin ko sa aking kamay, may naka-kabit na wiring of some sort. Pati sa ilong ko. I scrunched up my nose, feeling uncomfortable. There's something attached on my index finger too."What happened?" I choked out. Napapaos pa ang boses ko. Kumuha si Nic ng
#CollisionWakas"Where have you been?" Ian asked, the tip of his cigarette was lit.Amoy ko angbahongsigarilyoatngumuso. Sabi ko nangtumigilsiya sapaninigarilyoe.Masamasa baga.Mackydoesn't allow me to smoke because my voice will be affected, and it's bad publicity. Either way, bad publicity is still publicity. There will be potential profit from the attention people will give me.I didn't answer Ian's question. All I know is that I want to see Rosie. She's been busy lately. Ang hirap na law student siya at artista ako. It's
#CollisionSimulaWalking around the fields of San Ignacio University has always been my favorite thing to do. It gives me some sort of relief from all the pressure.Hindi naman ito 'yong hiniling ko na buhay.I'm grateful, but this is not the life I want. Sometimes, I just want to escape it. Start anew. I just don't want to live up to the pressure everyone is surrounding me with. All of my brothers have graduated. At lahat ay Business Administration, katulad ko. Sino naman ang hindi mapre-pressure kung lahat ng kapatid ay successful na businessman?I also want to be successful. Build an empire using my own blood, sweat and tears. Hindi 'yong bine-baby pa ng mga magulang dahil ako ang nag-iisang babae sa aming magkakapatid. While walking, I heard two girls talking quite loudly, and annoyingly. Kumunot ang noo ko."Tingin mo magla-Laude talaga 'yon?"
#CollisionKab1It's been a week since I started law school and I have to say, I'm starting to smell coffee everywhere! Puro na lang kape ang naaamoy ko kahit wala namang kape sa paligid! Maybe it's because of my frequent study sessions, which won't be possible without coffee. Akala ko nung college 'yung pinakamarami kong in-take ng kape. But I was wrong.Law school is really changing my life.I haven't seen any of my brothers in two weeks. Hindi ko sila natye-tyempohan kapag bumibisita ako sa bahay. Tapos once a week ko lang nakikita ang magulang ko. But I'm grateful for that already. I'm lucky enough to visit my family every week. Not everyone has that opportunity. And I salute those people who stay abroad just to provide for their family. Not everyone has the courage to do that.Speaking about that, I applied for a job. Multiple jobs. People say that I don't need one, pero gusto kong kum
#CollisionKab2Pagpasok ko sa room, nakaupo na halos ang lahat. May mga lalaki pang nasa corridor at nag-uusap about their frat or about girls. Lagi namang ganon. Kahit nasa law school na, fling parin ang hinahanap ng iba, but I don't judge. Sila bahala sa buhay nila. Buti na lang at hindi pa dumadating ang prof...at thank God! Pinapasok parin ako ng guard kahit wala akong ID! Medyo kilala na kasi ako ng naka-duty na lady guard kanina kahit mag-iisang month palang ako dito sa law school. Ang daming readings. Ang daming din na groupwork. Akala ko medyo malaya na ako sa mga pabuhat na tao, pero hindi parin.Umupo ako sa tabi ni Nicolas. Isa siya sa mga unang kaibigan ko dito sa school. At first, akala ko medyo masungit siya at seryoso, pero mabait naman pala. He once offered to drop me off sa condo ko when my car ran out of gas. Nagsesend din siya ng reviewer minsan. Minsan lang, kasi pinaghihirapan niya 'yun. Over all, he's c
#CollisionKab3"Ms. Mercado, answer me! Nag-aral ka ba?" tanong ni Atty. Sanchez, mala-dragon ang tunog ng boses.Nakatayo ako ngayon at halatang nahihiya na. Nakakahiya. It took all the strength in my body to not cry. Nag-aral naman ako, e. Nabasa ko 'yung case na tinanong sa akin. But I guess I didn't read enough. Ganon talaga ang buhay.Everyone in the room was looking at me with pity. Well, 'yung iba parang nag-eenjoy kasi kilala nila ang pamilya ko. They're probably thinking I deserve this. And particular situation is exactly what I am trying to avoid. Ayaw kong nakikishare sa success ng pamilya ko. Ayaw kong isipin nila na nakakaraos lang ako dahil sa apilyedo ko. Pero ito nga, ginawa ko ang best ko ngunit hindi parin sapat."If you don't study harder, you don't deserve to cross the bar. Each case carries its own weight, Ms. Mercado. If hindi mo napanalo ang kaso, may inosenteng ma
#CollisionKab4I woke up early the next day. Usually, one hour lang ang naco-consume ko sa paghahanda. I showered for 20 minutes and dried my hair. Nagsuot ako ng white long-sleeve na may ruffles sa gilid. Nag-black skinny jeans na lang ako. I also wore nude heels pero hindi din siya masyadong mataas.Pinainit ko na lang 'yung pagkain ko kahapon at inilagay sa tupperware. Sa headquarters na lang ako kakain ng breakfast. Dadalhin ko rin 'yung Consti ko at ibang materials para sa class mamayang gabi. Kaunti na lang naman ang gagawin ko sa trabaho ngayon, I hope Macky doesn't mind me studying during work hours. I put all my personal stuff sa black backpack ko. Pati na rin ang laptop ko. 'Yung mga reviewer at codal ko naman, nilagay ko sa isang tote bag. I was about to head out nang may nagdoor bell sa unit ko.
#CollisionKab5"Ms. Mercado! You are being incompetent! Get out of my class!" My professor was heaving in anger.Wala na akong ginawa kundi sundin ang utos niya. I'm on the verge of tears and my classmates were looking at me with pity. I looked at Nic and tried to smile, to tell him I'm okay. But I failed. I carried my bag and went out. I kept walking until I got out of the building.I need fresh air.Hindi ko namalayang tumutulo na pala ang mga luha ko.I'm fucking weak.I wasn't raised like this.I'm not born to be a quitter.