IRIS
It was a simple sunny afternoon, where the sky was entirely blue, without any hint of clouds, and the fresh breeze brushes though my hair as I lean my head on the side of the window. The sun shines between the branches of the trees, and I’m not lying when I say I can hear the birds chirping as if it was singing me a song. A welcoming song because finally, after 8 years, we’re coming home. The home we abandoned after the tragedy of losing our king after being in a battlefield for almost all his life. And we knew he needed rest, but we didn’t want it to be forever. Would it be heartless for me to call him selfish for leaving us just for a very long nap? Or should the selfish one be us for wanting him to stay longer.
“We’re almost there, hon, you sleepy?”. Mom broke me off my trance and for a moment, I was only able to stare at her. I’m not the only one who witnessed her messed up state when dad died. There were lots of us. But I’m the only one who witnessed her break down every second of every night. It was unbearable. The pain of losing someone, and the pain of seeing your love one in pain knowing there’s nothing you can do to cheer them up because you’re also in that state. Every day was filled with lots of tears, regrets, and never ending yearning for our father’s presence. It was barely bearable. It was too heart wrenching so we knew we have to leave that place we called home. We needed it. More because mom had been pregnant with my little brother that time, and we knew she needed to pull herself up for the life that she holds. And the moment he was born, there had been hope for us to keep living. Raising him distracted us from the harsh reality, and made us temporarily forget the absence of our father. He was the light that we needed. And though I can still see mom silently weeping in her room every night, at the very least, at day, I get to see her smile whenever she holds my brother. It took a couple of months, but I knew it was a sign of healing.
All these years had her healed, maybe not completely, because even I, have not. I can still feel a hole in heart whenever I’m reminded of my father. And I don’t know if my brother feels worse. He may have not met him, but he also had to grow without a father. It just felt so unfair because he had never been given a chance to meet a wonderful father. Just why…did the heavens take him too soon?
“From earth to Iris, are we still talking? You’ve been staring at Skye for a whole minute. Is there something bothering you? Or is it because… you’re nervous of meeting you’re new father?” My hands halted from brushing my fingers at my brother’s hair who’s lying on my thighs, when I hear my mom’s words. My heart ache at the term. New father. How can I call somebody else ‘father’? I can’t. I still can’t. No, I know I’m never able to call somebody else father. There is only one father. And he’s the one that’s still living in my heart and memories.
“Yes, a bit. “I answered mom’s question after a minute of silence. Last year, mom had met one of her classmates and began chatting. And I never seen her so happy just by staring at her phone. That year is probably her happiest one yet after 8 years. And when she confessed to me of falling in love with that man, I have no choice but to accept it even though I’m against it with all my heart.
Because I’ve never seen her so happy. And I can’t bear to give her another heartbreak. Perhaps, it’s time to let people in again.
After a turn, a familiar house caught my attention and I almost immediately sat back up and reminisce the familiar structures; from the lawn filled with roses, to the swing tied up to the tree and to the fences painted with a night sky filled with stars. My chest tightened as I felt my eyes stinging with tears. Dad.
Tears fell as the car drove pass our old front lawn. The cold wind drying them, seemingly telling me to move on. Just as mom did. If only I could.
“We’re here.” After few minutes, the car stopped at a familiar lawn. My eyebrows knitted in confusion. It’s not just familiar. I know this place. How could I ever forget the place where I spent most of my Summer since 7? I faced mom who was already looking at me with a nervous look.
“What do you mean?” I ask, my heartbeat throbbing louder in my chest.
“F-for now, let’s greet them.” Before I could say anything, she immediately got out of the car, only rising my suspicions.
“Hey, kiddo, wake up. We’re here.” I shook Skye a little. I was on the process of trying to distract myself from the truth that’s about to be revealed. Or not. It’s not them, right? It’s been 8 years, they should have move to another place.
“Noona? Noona? “ I snap out of my trance as I hear my brother’s voice. Unlike me, he was smiling ear to ear, excited to finally meet new family members. “I can’t believe I’m finally going to have a dad! Can you believe it!” I tried to force a smile, trying to not let the kid down, but the fear in my heart just wouldn’t leave.
“Mom’s calling us, let’s go! “ I took a deep breath and slowly got out of the car. Skye was too excited and ran it’s way to the doorstep. I, on the other hand, took my time as I scatter my eyes on the lawn. It was not the same as it was back then. They also had lots of plants back then, most was what we gave as presents. Now, it was all grass, no roses, or orchids. What only remain is the tree that we used to climb back then. The leaves dried out since it’s autumn and I can see how this tree grew old. Just like us.
Mom rang the bell many times, but the door still won’t open. “Why is no one answering the door?” I walk up to them and as if my body has a mind on its own, I reached up and held the string placed near the door, and shook it gently. Mom and Skye looked at me with confusion.
“What are you doing?”
“I…I remember the Daves’ broke their doorbell back then, so me and…Sage…” It has been years since I mention his name that I somehow felt nostalgic. “So I and him made a pulley where we attached a bell on this string and placed it on his room, so that when I wanted to play with him, I could only ring it and only he would know.” Mom smiled. “Aww, that’s cute.”
I smiled remembering my childhood. Sage Daves played a big part of it. I always hope I’ll have the chance to meet him again. After all, he was my first love. “I don’t know if it still works though when they’re not here anymore.”
“About that…”Before I could fathom my mom’s expression, the front door finally opened up, revealing a very familiar face.
“Good afternoon, miss Grey. Hi, little bud, you must be Skye.” I froze and felt my heart dropped when he slowly turned to look at me. “Long time no see, Rissy.”
No…if they’re still living here, that means…
“Kids, meet your new brother.”
End of Chapter
