Chapter Three

Alice

          "Wow, you really thought this through." Teresa says as we both step out of the car, closing the door behind us. "I mean . . . look at this place, it's amazing. We get to have the whole cabin to ourselves?"

          Juliet turns around with a wide smile plastered on her face, linking her arm with Will. "So, I'm guessing you guys approve? It took me a couple of weeks to find us a perfect spot!" 

          "Well, I love it." Teresa replies. 

          My eyes wander to the cabin, feeling excited to get a step inside. This place is surrounded with trees as we're literally five kilometres away from town, it's secluded and we would be spending time without any interruptions. It seems like a perfect place for a getaway or even a honeymoon, a place to prioritise quality time. 

          Eric and I used to plan going out to places like this, somewhere private. We would spend time by ourselves, playing board games or spend the whole day cuddling. We wouldn't have much in our heads and that time, in that exact moment, it sounded perfect. It was a perfect plan. 

          It never happened. It was gone in a blink. 

          Honestly, things with Eric was never a smooth ride. There were bumps here and there, showing off the struggles we had in our relationship but when things were going great, we had plans. We made plans for the future, we even thought about getting married, how many kids we would have. The kind of things any partner would discuss together if they're thinking long-term. 

          We were thinking long-term. 

          We thought of forever.

          "Alice?" Ian, calls out from behind as the rest walks into the cabin.

          I turn around, seeing him taking a few steps towards me. 

          "Ian, didn't see you there." 

          "Well, one would think you were reminiscing." Ian replies, shoving both of his hands into his jeans' pockets as his eyes focus onto me. "I haven't seen you in awhile, Alice. Come here and give me a hug," 

          With a smile plastered on my face, I lean forward and wrap my arms around his body. He responds by placing his chin on top of my head before pulling me close. "I missed you." 

          "So do I," I mutter.

          "Come on, let's talk a walk." 

          We walk side by side towards the side of the cabin, down a pavement. The cold air touches my skin but we proceed to walk down the path. Ian wraps his arm around my shoulder to pull me close. Some people might see us as a couple but we're nothing more than close friends. Ian's a very protective friend, he cares more and the way he shows his affection is through his own actions. 

          "I just broke up with Karen," He starts. 

          Karen, it's not her actual name. Ian enjoys naming his flings as Karen because he doesn't want to take the time to remember their names, it's easier for him to just say 'Karen' and dump them. Ian wasn't always like this, he wasn't the type to break other people's heart and move on. He loved hard and it broke him. Now, he chooses to be in the comfort of another for his own pleasure. 

          "That's your fifth Karen this month." I look up at him, seeing him smile. 

          "Well . . . I can't help it, I'm too charming." 

          "Why? Did she get too attached?" 

          Ian shrugs, "You can say that. I never make things last more than a week," 

          "That's your rule. They want to play your game but they never follow that one rule," 

          He turns to look at me as we stop in the middle, "Stop thinking about him." 

          My eyes widen, "I'm not!" 

          "I didn't even say who," He points, "You just thought of Eric." 

          Eric, Eric, Eric. I can't deny the fact that I've been anxious ever since Juliet told me about this trip. I haven't seen him in years but his voice and his face, has never been vivid. They said that he has changed a lot and he is no longer the same Eric but I don't know who or what to trust—he was the closest to me. He opened up to me and we were naked. We were very naked with our feelings. We knew each other deeply. 

          So, I know him better. Knew. 

          "Who else? Of course you meant Eric," 

          "Tell me. It's clear you can't stop thinking about him," 

          "I'm just anxious. I . . . I don't feel comfortable," 

          "Because he'll be here? With us?" 

          "You already know why." 

          Ian sighs, shaking his head. "Did he do something else?"

          "What do you mean?" I raise an eyebrow. 

          "Did he—you know, hurt you?" 

          I know exactly what Ian meant. My friends including Ian, they want to know if Eric ever went ahead with his actions. If he ever hurt me more than just my heart. I don't feel comfortable around Eric anymore and it makes them wonder if he ever did physically abuse me. I wish I can say he did but he never did. He was a good boyfriend and things were great until they weren't. That ended us. 

          Eric grew distant. He kept blaming me, pressured me and forced me into doing the things I don't want. I can never tell them that . . . I can never let them know that I was forced into things. They are trying to let him back into our lives and what Eric did, he apologised. 

          "He never hit me, if that's what you're asking." I answer.

          "Alice . . ." 

          "I don't feel comfortable because I used to love him," I exclaim, "Eric was everything to me. We had so many plans and to accept the fact that it never worked out, it's confusing. He showed me what it was like to fall in love and to be happy, he showed me the goodness in someone and I believed everything. I fell for his every word and I believed him. I craved him at one point and that broke me, Ian." 

          Tears begin to appear in my eyes as I blink them away, "To love someone so hard, to trust them and to finally let them in. I wasn't that kind of person but with him, it was easy—he made it easy. That's why I'm not comfortable with having him around, it's because he lied to me. I can't forget the things he said. He made empty promises and he lied. Okay?" 

          Ian cups onto my face, "Shh, shh, it's okay." 

          Then, he pulls me in for a hug.

          That night, as the rest of us are just laying and chilling in the living room, a knock manages to surprise us. Ian steps up and make his way towards the door before pulling the door open and my heart skips a beat at the figure, seeing Eric standing tall before stepping inside. All of a sudden, everything goes quiet but I know it too well, it's just me. Teresa exclaims happily before hugging him while I'm left, trying to breathe. 

          But, on the outside, I look calm. 

          "Glad you could finally make it," Juliet says. 

          "Yeah, me too." 

          My eyes wander up to his face and truth be told, he hasn't changed much. His hair seems longer but it's neatly pushed to the back with a few strands falling onto his forehead. He appears to be more in shape than the last time I saw him. All of the memories come rushing in as I see him smile, he used to smile like that at me, when we were alone, when we were together. 

          Our eyes finally meet. 

          "Alice," He calls out my name, in which I respond with a nod. 

          "Hi, Eric." 

          "How are you?" 

          "Good. You?" 

          "Never been better." 

          Just like that, he walks away and begin to talk with the others. It's as if he doesn't even care about my presence but I ignore any unnecessary thoughts as I turn to look at Ian—seeing him smiling at me as he mouths, 'It's okay, Alice. Relax.' Four words, fours words to stop me from crying. 

          "You look so different," Juliet says. 

          "I think I look the same," 

          "We just haven't seen you in awhile," Ian continues.

          "Yeah, I've been busy but it hasn't been that long, right? We saw each other a few weeks back," 

          "It's weird how someone can change in a few weeks," 

          "Exactly. Like a completely different person," 

          They laugh, as I make my way towards the kitchen. I grab a glass of water before taking a sip, trying to calm myself down—it didn't exactly go the way I thought it would be but I'm pleased. More than pleased because he didn't try to have a conversation with me. The more he leaves me alone, the better I will feel. 

          I lean against the kitchen counter, glass in hand. 

          Just as I turn around, I see Eric standing near the doorway. A smile on his face as he gently steps inside but he keeps his distance which I appreciate. 

          "Hi . . . Alice," He says. 

          "Hi, there." 

          "You look great," 

          "Yeah? So do you," 

          It has been years. Any conversation would turn out to be this awkward after years of being apart, years of being away. Even though we did end our relationship in a good way, we did talk it through and we did try to make it work while we could—it feels as if I'm talking with a stranger. As if all the memories we created were just, a dream. It doesn't feel real anymore. 

          "You grew your hair," He adds.

          When we were dating, my hair never passed my shoulders. I always wanted to keep it short but ever since we broke up, I wanted a change and I decided to keep my hair growing. 

          "I like it better now," 

          "Of course, you look . . . beautiful." Both of his eyes wander down to my body before looking back up to my eyes, taking his time to eye me completely. 

          "Thanks." I reply. 

          Hearing Eric complimenting me doesn't feel weird. It's good to hear it from him, it boosts up my confidence because I know after so many years, I've managed to look even better. I've managed to keep myself in shape and just be happy in my own skin. 

          "I haven't heard from you ever since . . ." 

          " . . . we broke up?" I finish off. 

          He nods, looking a bit guilty. "Yeah, I just asked about you from our friends." 

          "Well, you never reached out to me. We just cut things off and disappear," 

          "We did that, didn't we?" 

          "Hmm, we did." 

          "Look, Alice—I'm really sorry," 

          I blink, feeling confused. "For what?" 

          "For hurting you. For, for leaving you behind." 

          "Nobody left anyone behind, Eric. We ended our relationship because we knew it was the best decision," I respond before placing the glass on the kitchen counter. "We stopped talking because we also knew to keep our distance. Let's not pretend that we were ever going to be friends," 

          "I know. I know and I remember everything," 

          "Then, why are you apologising? You don't owe me anything," 

          "I feel bad. I shouldn't have left that way," 

          "What way, Eric? Nobody left. We made clear of that," 

          "Alice, I'm just really sorry for whatever that happened in the past between us." 

          "Okay, you've apologised. That's done," 

          Eric continues to look at me, "Right. You're right," 

          "Just . . . don't make things more awkward than they already are." 

          I look away from him before making my way out of the kitchen, not wanting to stay for any unnecessary drama. 

          As soon as I reach the living room, my friends begin to clear their throats as they continue to chatter. It was as if Eric and I were talking loudly and everyone could hear the whole conversation. It's not a secret to them or to anyone close, they all know how our relationship would've never worked out. Eric apologised and he promised he would change but he ended up repeating the same mistakes. 

          "It was really the ice cream," Juliet says. 

          "Okay, to lighten up the mood . . . why don't we play a game?" Ian asks, his eyes wandering around the room before landing on me, gesturing for me to take a seat beside him. 

          I take my spot beside him and he smiles. 

          "Sounds interesting. Reminds me back of when we were in college," 

          "And high school." Teresa adds. 

          "I'm okay with it," I smile. 

          Eric joins us as he takes a seat near Juliet and Will, sparing a few glances towards my direction once in awhile but I do my best in avoiding meeting his gaze. It's best to keep my distance because I'm already uncomfortable—after this weekend, I wouldn't want to meet him anymore. It's also best to leave things the way they were. 

          "To rekindle back our moments, we should start with truth or dare." Juliet smirks.

          "Ah, the highlight of every teenage dream." 

          "Well, every American teenage dream." 

          "Okay, let's start! You guys got me excited," 

         Teresa starts to grab an empty bottle of beer before placing it on the coffee table as the rest of us sits in an unformed circle. Our eyes are focusing on the glass bottle as soon as it spins, landing on Juliet. 

          Juliet pretends to be surprised before leaning back on her fiancé, "Okay. Hit me with a dare," 

          "Straight to the point, I like it." Will chuckles. 

          The rest of us continues to glance at each other before Ian speaks up, "I dare you to eat a spoonful of hot sauce." 

          We laugh at the dare, knowing Juliet would've expected something a bit more wild or steamier but we just started the game, we know how to take things slow. We used to play 'truth or dare' ever since we were in high school and it was how we got to know each other better too. Things would get wild as the game proceeds and we enjoyed every moment. 

          "Oh, come on. I expected something sexier," Juliet replies. 

          "We're getting there, honey." Teresa chuckles, handing her the hot sauce. 

          Juliet fills up the spoon with hot sauce before immediately putting it in her mouth and swallowing. Her eyes begin to tear up as they stream down her cheeks, her face reddening. "Wow, this is hot. Hot as fuck," 

          The game continues with the bottle landing on Ian in which he chickens out by choosing truth. 

          "Have you ever had sex in public?" Teresa shoots her question, taking a sip of her wine. 

          Ian smirks, "I confidently admit I have." 

          "Oh, where? Storytime!" 

          "Back of an alley," 

          Our eyes widen before we burst out into laughters, "Oh my god." 

         "Back of an alley, Ian?!" Juliet exclaims. 

         "Well . . . things just happened and it was kinda, hot." 

         "You're wild," I chuckle. 

          We all agree to continue the game outside, where we would grill the chicken and the hamburgers. That way, we would be enjoying the fattening meals as we have fun. With plates in our hands and our mouths filled with meat, we're really having fun—completely forgetting about the whole awkwardness that happened a couple of hours ago. 

          "Aha, Alice." 

          The bottle lands on me and it couldn't get any worse, Eric was spinning it. 

          "Just choose truth," Ian whispers. 

          My brown eyes meet up with Eric's and I immediately ignore Ian's response. If I choose truth, I would be vulnerable to Eric and he would ask me anything he would want—he'd take it as an opportunity to learn more about me, for me to admit. 

          "Dare," I breathe out. 

          I swear, nobody's laughing now. We're all quiet. 

          "Dare?" Eric raises an eyebrow, licking his lower lip nervously. 

          "You heard me. Dare," 

          "I dare you to kiss me." 

          Low blow. A really, really, really, low blow.

          My lips curve up into a smirk before looking around, seeing the rest of our friends are surprised at Eric's dare. Either way, Eric grabbed his opportunity to make me stumble. He wanted me to kiss him and he wanted me to walk away, to show that I still have feelings for him and that'd make me weak. 

          I'm never known to walk away from a challenge. 

          So, I stand up and I make my way towards him.

          Both of his eyes are looking up into my own—if I didn't know him better, I'd say he was being serious. I know him better and I can see the way his eyebrows slightly furrow at my gesture. He didn't expect me to obey, he didn't expect me to follow this dare but I am standing in front of him. I am slowly sitting on top of him. I am slowly grabbing onto his face. 

          His hand on my back feels light and I can remember the memories of our past. 

          Our faces are inches apart as I lean forward, slowly meeting his lips with mine. The kiss starts off slow with me trying to lead before ignoring all of the silly thoughts in my head—it feels just like old times. We've been in this position countless times and he doesn't seem too shy about it. He keeps on pulling me closer. 

          The kiss continues on as he slides his hand under my shirt to rub my back which causes me to pull away immediately, seeing him blink a few times in surprise. 

          "Done," I mutter. 

          Just like that, our friends begin to cheer as I stand up, leaving him speechless.