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Chapter 86
He tried to grab my arm again so I moved away almost slipping from the wet floor and I just felt his hand shove my shoulders back against the wall forcefully. I gasped; either in shock or maybe my anxiety finally caught up to me that I believed it hurt. He grabbed my arm again trying to hold me while all I could do was push him as my panic started to grow more becoming harder to control and I’ve forgotten how strong he can be. I’m beginning to struggle to keep my anxiety under control and trying to focus on my surroundings while figuring out what to do next. I reached out to put my hands over his face scratching his face so it caused him to take a step back and this gave me a chance to run around him, but he pulled me back by grabbing my shirt. We both fell to the ground after slipping on the wet sandy floor after our quick action and he moved to be on top of me.
“Stop,” I said fitfully.
I was starting to have a hard time breathing as he kept pr
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Don't Touch Chapter 87
I didn’t want to sleep alone tonight and I still felt shaky after everything that happened that my anxiety hasn’t settled down. It should have calmed down by now, but I still felt on edge like something else was going to happen and I couldn’t let my guard down. We started making our way to the parking lot, heading back home, and my mom made sure to check on my forehead. There wasn’t much that she could do for the small swelling of it besides cleaning it, add some ointment on the cut, and cover it with a bandaid. Elliot didn’t arrive at my house until another hour later and we went to my room to lay down after my mom checked on him as well. My mom had me take my pill before letting me go to my room and I hoped that it would help me so I could sleep comfortably. I took my time in the restroom after getting home and I just wanted to wash everything away. I don't know if I wanted to wash the dirt off me or the feeling when Chris touched my body that left me this feeling that I w
Don't Touch Chapter 88
I rubbed my forehead lightly, still feeling the bruise when I touched it, and sighed figuring out how to explain. “That was someone in middle school,” I said and I can see them waiting for more information. “We used to date and he slowly became violent." I paused taking a deep breath, planning to tell them the truth so I should let it all out. "I'll be completely honest here, aside from dealing with haphephobia, I have depression and anxiety that sometimes it can be hard to deal with. Because of the relationship I had with him and dealing with everything in my past, I tried to commit suicide.” I said as I looked down hoping that they could understand. “When I saw Chris yesterday I was scared that he would hurt you guys which were why I left with him and one thing led to another…” Everyone fell silent, I felt Elliot wrap his arms around my shoulder trying to comfort me for speaking up and I wondered what everyone was thinking. “I'm sorry that happened,
Don't Touch Chapter 89
I smiled for a second before looking at him again, “What about you?”“Yeah?”“Have you ever looked at anyone while dating me? Guy or girl?” I asked, curiously. “And be serious. I won’t get mad.”Elliot didn’t answer right away until he shook his head, “I never really looked at other people in any way like I do with you. I was curious about it at first too and I did check out other guys after you confessed to me, but I didn’t really feel anything. Is that weird?”I shook my head. “No, I think it’s okay to just love whoever you are interested in and it’s okay if you're not attractive to other guys while still interested in girls. I’m not going to judge.”“I was curious about it at first, but at this moment I'm comfortable saying that I’m bisexual.” He said. “I know my parents are still adjusting to it, but I think now th
Don't Touch Chapter 90
Something within us changes afterward after that day or maybe it was me. How can the things we talked about made life easier to breathe? I was already taking slow breaths when I came to this school, taking a step when I met Elliot and they kept going higher as I made friends and being able to do more then I have ever done before. But now it felt like I was running. In my mind, I was beginning to panic because I thought I was running away from a monster that I couldn’t escape from but within the time I was able to finally lose it and found a new path that I wanted to explore. This new path that I didn’t know where it was going, what will be at the end of it, who I will meet? All sorts of wonder that slowly it wasn’t so frightening anymore. It was never easy yet, as Elliot said, I’ll be fine.Dr. Brown told me that it was okay to be anxious because I have people that I care about, which is true, but I don’t think I’ve ever told her that I als
Don't Touch Chapter 91
I took a deep breath as I rested my head against his shoulders as I just followed his footsteps and listened to the music trying to feel everything while forgetting about everything so I can focus on us. As I’m listening to the music, I can only feel the warmth of Elliot’s arms around me and kept my eyes closed as I imagined us dancing in a grand ballroom like in Cinderella. I smiled at my imagination as I pulled away once the music ended. Elliot didn’t let go of me and I looked at him immediately seeing his expression. I laughed at his hesitation as I wrapped my arms around him again and leaned forwards giving him a kiss that he was waiting for. Was this how prom will be like for me next year? Elliot didn’t mind that I didn’t want to dance again and the only time he pulled me to dance again was when they played the last song for the night. I was enjoying the time I had with him until all this is over; until summer starts and everything will change. I leaned my head against
Don't Touch Special Bonus Chapter
I was leaning against Elliot while we were sitting on my bed and I’ve spent the last ten minutes looking at the black gown that I bought at school earlier today. I’m trying to let the thoughts sink in that I will finally be graduating high school within a few days and will be starting college in a few months. Elliot has his arm wrapped around my shoulder as he’s watching me and it seems like he’s trying to read my expression. He’s been home since last week after finishing exams and has been visiting me at my home after school. Elliot put a hand over mine to pull me away from my thoughts and softly kissed the side of my cheeks. I closed my eyes as I remind myself to take a deep breath and lean against his warmth.“Are you okay? Can you tell me what you're thinking?” He asked me.“I’m going to graduate,” I tell him like I’m stating a fact that is unheard of.“You are,” He agreed.I let out a heavy sigh and shifted to face him. “I’m going to graduate,” I repeated.Elliot looked back at hi
Don't Touch Special Bonus Chapter
New YearIt was the end of December, the end of the year, and I was waiting for Elliot outside for a couple of minutes. I had on a jacket and a scar and I was still cold standing outside feeling a bit bothered that Elliot wanted to go to the beach to see the fireworks show for the new years countdown. I got in the car right away when he pulled up and sighed feeling it warm inside.“Cold?” He asked.“Yes. I can’t stand this winter cold.” I tell him.“Well, the heater is on so warm up before we go back outside.” He said as he started driving.“You know it’s colder out there? It’s dark, we’re going to be by the ocean, and it’ll be pack.” I tell him or whining.He smiled, “I have a blanket. It’ll be fine.” He replied back.I shivered a bit as I looked outside. “So how was Christmas?” I asked him.
Don't Touch Letting Go Chapter 1 [1-4]
Chapter 1For the past two years, every Thursday, I would see my psychiatrist Doctor Brown; today, I am sitting across from her. We’ve been discussing my college courses for almost an hour and my frequent visits to my dad’s house. Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve noticed that my anxiety has worsened, and it’s been challenging to overcome it than usual. We talked as if we were close friends and built a bond after my first appointment. I had a psychiatrist four years ago while in the process of living with my mom after my suicide attempt, but I’ve never felt as open as I have been with Doctor Brown and I hope I can continue these sessions a little longer.“So, what are you going to do this weekend?” She asked me after we changed topics.“I don’t think I’ll be doing anything aside from seeing my friends from high school this evening, and Elliot won’t be able to join me, but he should be here right now. He wanted to take me home, and he wouldn’t take no for an answer. He had classes ear
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