Chapter 01: The Scenarios

Do you know how it feels like to be broken? Lost? Confused? 

I think I do. Ever since this weird thing started showing, my life has never been normal. I became emptier than I've ever felt before. The vines of despair are holding me tight. Should I hold on to it too? 

I let out a loud, exasperated breath. I am now again lost in my darkest thoughts. This happens from time to time especially when I'm left alone. Even if I try not to think about it, the thoughts would just immediately rush out like the water from a broken faucet wanting to be fixed. 

I stared at the students walking along the hallways of the university. I’m currently leaning on the wall, waiting for my dear friend to fucking show up. It’s already been an hour for Pete’s sake! 

"Heavenly!" 

Almost everyone present in this very hallway looked at us because of her loud shout. She’s currently running towards me from the other side of the corridor and I swear, she looks like she’s about to kiss the floor any moment now because of her clumsiness. I put my palm on my forehead, stressing myself as I looked at her.  

The moment she’s within my reach, I grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the crowd. 

"I told you not to call me with that name!" 

"Opps, sorry!" She put her hand beside her face while doing a peace sign. 

"What took you so long?" Her lips formed a pout when she heard my question. 

She's very childish. I don't even know how she became my friend because we have totally opposite personalities. She's this super energetic girl that you usually see running around the campus like a child, just so she could be the first one to reach the cafeteria. To think that she's already in college for Pete's sake. 

"I swear, Heavenly, it’s because of--“ 

"Stop with that name!" I said warily. 

She's doing it on purpose and it’s definitely not funny! 

"Oh, alright! Take two. Ven, it’s because of that damn professor! It will be better if he’s actually deaf since he doesn’t hear the ringing of the bell anyway." 

I chuckled while looking at her. She looked cute when she started pulling the hem of my shirt like a child. With her childish appearance, not to mention her height, she definitely looks like a twelve-year-old kid lost inside the campus.  

"Let's go. I hate the eyes around here," I said, leading her away while glaring at the group of girls nearby obviously backstabbing us.  

"You’re so hot-headed. They’re just looking at us. You never know, they might be actually idolizing you.” She giggled sarcastically with her own statement and I just rolled my eyes. 

I know my reputation in this damn place. And it's not even close to positive. 

I didn’t mind what she just said and just continued walking towards the gate of the university. She was tailing me from behind while skipping happily. We were about to go out of the campus grounds when something happened that made me stop walking. 

I stood frozen still in place in the midst of people walking out of the university. And because of that, Colleen bumped her head on my back. 

"Ouch! Why the hell did you suddenly stop?!" I heard her complaining from behind. 

Here they are again. I'm seeing it all again... these scenarios. 

"What happened? Are you seeing them again? Ven, look at me!” Collen shook my shoulders frantically because I looked like someone who had just seen a ghost. 

I felt all the colors fled my face in an instant. I can feel beads of sweat forming on my forehead. And then in a blink of an eye, it's all gone. I looked around me and everything went back to normal. 

I exhaled the breath that I didn't know I have been holding in the entire time. I calmed myself a bit and then looked at the worried eyes of my friend. 

"I'm okay now." I smiled as a signal for her to stop worrying. 

"What did you see this time?" She asked curiously. 

It was the same as usual. I saw a place that was obviously not on earth. Chaos. That place is full of chaos. Every time I see it, a war is taking place and it’s not just any war. I know it sounds crazy but I think it involves magic.  

Pretty impossible, huh? It makes my head ache every freaking time. 

"The usual," I casually said before started walking again. I don't want to talk about it that much because it makes me realize even more that I’m not a normal person. 

"Ven..." I heard Colleen called worriedly. 

I faced her one more time and put both of my hands on her shoulders. 

"Look, I'm fine. I'm used to this. You don't have to worry about me because you know that I can handle myself, Colleen.” I gave her a smile. “Now, you need to go home because your father is already here." I pointed at the black BMW car that’s currently parked nearby. Her father’ here. 

"Okay." She said in a weak tone. 

I hugged her to at least make her feel better. She hugged me back that made me smile even more. 

"Now, go. Shoo!" I dismissed her jokingly. She pouted before running towards her father. I waved at her one last time before turning away. 

She's Colleen Garcia, my best friend. She’s one of the remaining people in my life whom I still trust. That's why I don't want to worry her as much as possible because I care for her more than the world knows. 

And me? I'm lucky to have someone like her beside me. Yes, I'm not normal. That's what the doctors think about me. Well, maybe I just don’t really want to admit it myself. 

Those scenarios earlier, it started flashing in my mind about a year ago. It only lasts for just a few seconds, but it happens for like once or twice a week. I can't even explain it clearly but like I said earlier, it was somewhere obviously not on earth. The whole place was different. 

Floating islands above, glowing trees and plants, structures with odd designs and there were people fighting. They were fighting using magic? It sounded idiotic but that was what I saw. I'm not sure but I saw fire, lightning, things elevating. I told you, it was a complete chaos. Imagine, it’s all I’ve been seeing for the past year. I have questioned myself multiple times on why I kept seeing that world. And obviously, I can’t find a sane answer.  

I laughed out of nowhere. I must be really crazy.  

I stopped thinking about it and focused on walking to my condominium building. It’s only a walking distance from the university. I personally picked a near place for me to stay because I don’t want to go through the hassle of commuting since I don’t have a car. 

After entering my condo unit, I immediately removed all my clothes and took a quick shower. Then, I put on my comfortable pajamas before lying on my bed, not bothering to dry my still wet hair. 

While staring at the white ceiling, my mind wandered off again. I remembered that this started off as just a dream.

I can't remember when it exactly started to appear in my dreams but I was still young when it did. I saw some scenarios but it didn’t happen that often before. Perhaps I have encountered it once in two months as far as I remember. However, it wasn’t the same as to what I'm seeing now. 

There was a boy. I can’t recognize his face because of the weird blurry effect of the dream. The only thing I saw clearly were his eyes. His emerald-colored eyes are still engraved in my mind. Even though it’s already been a year since I last dreamt of it, I still can’t forget his eyes. The scenes may be different to what I'm seeing now, but they were both peculiar and still not on earth. 

I was still young back then and I called them visions. If I remember correctly, I always tell it to my mother, my younger brother and to Colleen. We’ve been friends for as long as I can remember. She's my one and only friend. My mother said it was just a dream but I kept insisting that it may become true as I called it visions... my visions. 

Mom just laughed because she can see how my eyes sparkled every time I talked about my dream, and it was actually normal for my age to tell stuffs like that back then.

But I didn't know that the dream I once called as visions will be the beginning of my fucked up life. 

It was already a year ago since the first time I saw it, I was very shocked to the point that I ended up screaming my head out like a crazy girl. And you know what's worse? It happened while I was in school. 

Many people saw me, shouting "stop!", shouting "what's going on?!" like I was talking to myself. And it made me look crazy. They thought I lost my sanity. They all looked at me with full of disgust.  

I told my mother about what happened. I'm close with my Mom but not with Dad. I saw the worry in her eyes when she knew what happened in school. But she didn’t make big deal out of it since it only happened for the first time. She thought I was just not feeling well that day. I continued living my not so normal life. 

But when worst came, it happened multiple times continuously, I started to get really scared. I can’t understand what I’m seeing. I started having panic attacks that sometimes happened in school. And that’s when my mother brought me to a psychiatrist. 

At first, I was totally against it but eventually, it went quite well. The psychiatrist talked alright. I was at ease every session. I soon realized that it’s not actually that bad to continue consulting an expert. 

But not until she started prescribing me medicines. I asked her what those are for. She was avoiding my questions expertly but I was not stupid not to realize. In their eyes, I'm mentally crazy. And the funny thing was, my family believed her. They wanted me to drink those medications, but I didn't. 

I am not crazy. 

I kept saying those words to comfort myself. I stopped going to sessions, I distanced myself from my family. Even from my younger brother who I was also closed with. I started living alone and one of the good things is my father let me. He even bought me this condo unit. 

I still visit them though when needed, but not that often. 

Everything happened so fast. Everything happened in a span of one year. I am physically, mentally and emotionally tired. 

But still, I am here, fighting my demons hoping that I will not lose.