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Forty Eight
v e r n o n
"I can't do it." I protested as we stood outside our usual hideout.
Together with JB and Mark, we waited on a hidden alley a few blocks away from our school. It's a vacant street that looked like a dumpsite, given the vacant establishments that stood along it. We had often come here and never for a good cause. We came here to smoke, to get high, and to pick fights.
"Snap out of your cowardice, dude! This is for us! For college!" Mingyu shoved my arm as he tried to make sense of this plan.
"We still can't get into college even if we get into the basketball team! Don't you think there wouldn't be any medical examinations before then? We would still be found as junkies. The moment we did this, we destroyed our fucking future!" I lost control and yelled back at
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Euphoria Forty Nine
Forty NineCatherine insisted not to walk her home that night. So I remained on the bus as she went out for her stop. She waved at me despite her already heavy eyelids. She was tipsy. The soju bomb had taken a toll on her, I could tell that by her over talkativeness and hyperness. I have never seen her that way and it was too amusing.Despite the obvious tipsiness, she insisted several times that she could go by herself. According to her, she can manage. And I could never win an argument with her so I did not insist on accompanying her home.Back home, all the guys were present in the living room. Some trap music was blaring in the background as the weed smoke reeked in the tiny space. JB was on his computer seat; Mingyu on the sofa, and the two guys were sprawled on the floor. Bottles of beer and cigarette sticks lie with them.
Euphoria Fifty
v e r n o nI woke up still stoned the next day. But miraculously, I managed to make it early to class. I just took a couple of downers and I'm half-alive to function. I still felt like shit of course. My headache and fatigue is immeasurable but I pushed myself just so I could see Catherine.I texted Mingyu and asked if he'd seen Catherine or if she's in our class already but he said she isn't. So I waited outside the school's gate for about twenty minutes. I was only disturbed when I saw the gates slowly being closed by the school guard and by the discipline officer, Mr. Song. I cursed inwardly when I glanced at my clock. It's five minutes past 7 am and Catherine is still nowhere to be found.I was about to call her when my eyes found her running from a distance. Behind her are the other students running their life towards t
Euphoria Fifty One
v e r n o n"Cath." I called in a lower tone this time.She turned her head to me while her body remained frozen still."You know you can talk this out to me. So hold my hand and let's get down here huh?" I stretched my arm towards her.But instead of accepting it, she shook her head and looked down. The height must have startled her because her legs shook. My stomach turned as I watched her tried to keep her balance."No, no. Don't look down. That's something you wouldn't want to do. Look far away instead." I am going nuts by trying to keep her attention on me."You know, there's my favorite quote from Dead Poets Society…" I began blabbering.
Euphoria Fifty Two
CatherineI still remember how it first started. Sometimes, the worst of tragedies come disguised as the most beautiful encounter. And when you're too blinded by all the bad, you'd have a hard time differentiating love from lust, safety from danger, sincerity from trickery.Sylvia told me to have dinner with an old businessman. I was so firm with my decision. I declined a hundred times, even pleaded with her, but she won't be told. Although it was part of her business, escorting was certainly out of my job description. I only agreed to be a waitress. Sylvia respected that until this man visited the bar and according to Sylvia, he found me pretty--so pretty he paid for me, like an irresistible adornment in auction. Sylvia could never resist a huge sum of money so she immediately accepted his down payment. That means t
Euphoria Fifty Three
catherineAdam waited eagerly for what I had to say. Although hesitant, I began to tell him about Vernon because he's all I could think about."There's this boy.." My stomach was filled with butterflies just by beginning to talk about him."With a hair of gold, and eyes of caramel, and a million-dollar smile.." I grinned at the recollection of his once in a blue moon genuine smiles."And…" I sighed. "He's really nice to me. He's incomparable to everyone. He's like my angel, saves me at times of trouble, and he knows me personally more than anyone else does."Adam's forehead creased, as if the conversation was not pleasing him. Carried away, I did not mind that and I continued talking.
Euphoria Fifty Four
catherineThe anxiety and depresssion, it has happened to me a lot of times before, even when I was young and there wasn't really much to be depressed about.The first time I thought of dying, or wanting to die, was when I was eleven years old. I remember that clearly. It was my eleventh birthday and I got in a fight with my mom because she wouldn't let me invite my friends over. Don't get me wrong. My mom isn't a toxic parent, she was very nice and apologetic when she told me we had no money to celebrate my birthday and that I could not invite anyone. I, being spoiled and envious of my other friends who had nice birthday parties, threw a fit.My mom scolded me, and I tried to call my dad but he wasn't answering. It seemed like he didn't even remember my birthday. The open door of our classs that day gives an ample vi
Euphoria Fifty Five
vernonAfter a few convincing, I made Catherine agree to attend a support group. I found the pamphlet at Daeyeong's desk earlier. He offered it to me after seeing that I have been eyeing it.Obviously, that made him more concerned. He asked me to talk about my "feelings" with him anytime or to talk it out with people who are going through the same thing. We weren't able to discuss more because I got pissed when he mentioned my deceased parents. It's not something I would want to talk to with anyone. But at least, I got the pamphlet. Upon reading it, I thought of Catherine.So that was what I immediately offered to her. At first, she was hesitant but for some reason, she soon heard me out."Okay," she said with the slightest turn of lips.
Euphoria Fifty Six
catherine"What can I do to help you, Cath?" In his hoarse bedroom voice, Vernon asked.The blinds of the unused classroom where we hid were all closed; prohibiting the tiniest sunlight in. We basked in the dimness of the room, only seeing the outlines of our bodies amid the shadows.When I had recovered from weeping, I laid on Vernon's lap as he sat on the desk. I didn't even know why I broke down that unexpectedly. It was just that he was saying so much, and my heart overflowed, and I had a downpour. I am the frailest emotional wreck at the moment, a lay of the finger could break me.He offered me his handkerchief which smelled of mint and the fresh morning dew from the woods, and I dried the ocean of my tears with its soft fabric. He and his handkerchief was the safety of
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