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Chapter 37: Jude
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Family Ties Chapter 38: Portia
It was what he said, how he said it, the way he kissed me before he admitted he'd already made plans for our future. It might have been naïve to believe that two foster kids who'd been to hell and back could end up with a happily ever after that included each other, but it was a dream I wanted to fall into head first. There was no resistance on his part when I linked my arm in his and redirected us back to our bed and breakfast. I'd rather hold his hand, but if we ran into Ernie and Hensley, us being arm in arm wouldn't rouse any suspicion. By the time we climbed the steps into the B&B, the quick pace back had left us winded. We hadn't seen or heard from my parents since lunch, and my best guess was they were off touring lighthouses or something equally as boring, which would allow us several hours before they would expect to have dinner. I planned to enjoy every minute.Jude closed the door to our room and engaged the lock. The moment he faced me, my fingers worked the zipper on
Family Ties Chapter 39: Portia
Neither of us took into consideration how hard the separation would be, much less how difficult keeping our relationship a secret would be. When I got back to school, Jet honed in on the difference in my attitude before I'd left compared to when I returned, and I couldn't give her anything other than Jude and I had worked through our differences. I had to sneak phone calls to him and change my tone when she walked in the room. But it was the physical loss of not having him near that was the hardest to deal with. She'd gone to class, leaving me in our room alone. I was biding my time until I could call Jude. As soon as I was certain he wasn't at school, I unlocked my phone and touched his name on my favorites list. "Hey, babe." Those two words uttered from his mouth in a deep, rich baritone released my frustration and warmed my heart. I never thought I'd crave hearing a common term of endearment, but something in his inflection, the casual way he said it, and how the words hit
Family Ties Chapter 40: Portia
At Jude's request, we celebrated his birthday at the diner where his mom had worked when he was growing up. And when the dishes had been cleared, one of the older waitresses, who'd known him since he was a child, brought out what appeared to be the entire staff to corral around our table. Together, they sang "Happy Birthday" behind a lemon pie with one lone candle burning brightly in the center of the whipped cream. When they were done, she set the pie in front of him, and he blew out the flame. His eyes glistened, but tears never formed. The lady leaned down and whispered something in his ear. He grinned when she patted his shoulder. I had worried that being here would set off emotions he wouldn't be able or ready to handle, but he soared through the night beautifully and appeared happy.As we left the diner, I snuggled against his side. The smell of cedar and citrus wafted around me in a hug as tight as his actual embrace. And when he held the door open for me to walk through, h
Family Ties Chapter 41: Jude
"I'd hoped we were done with Debbie Downer once you and Portia hooked up." Carson squinted to keep the smoke from his eyes when he took a drag off the joint."I don't have a clue what you're talking about." But I did. Ever since she went back to school two weeks ago, I'd tried to play it off, not just with my friends, but with Portia, as well. Evidently, I hadn't been all that successful.Carson leaned back in his lawn chair and dropped one hand on the armrest, while still holding the joint with the other. He licked his teeth beneath his lips, and I studied him with odd interest as his facial expressions changed. They went from confusion to concentration and possibly curiosity. I watched him blink several times, open his mouth, close it, and he finally spoke in a relaxed, low tone. "You were you again. And then you weren't.""That's profound. Thanks for clarifying the personality shift.""You know what I mean. When you came back from spring break, you were the Jude you were whe
Family Ties Chapter 42: Jude
I had started to feel like a bouncy ball with one flat side. When I was with Portia, it was as if someone had launched me high into the air. Yet the moment she was out of reach and I couldn't smell the scent of her shampoo or taste the hint of soap on her skin, I crashed to the ground and flew off in odd directions, springing erratically around until I finally settled into a pit of despair in a dusty corner. With no one around to chase my proverbial flight path, I was forgotten until her face lit up my cell phone screen or a text message lifted me from the cobwebs. Ernie and Hensley were on my ass about going back to Dr. Vanderhugh-a fate worse than death. I argued vehemently that my emotional swings were related to stress and not at all connected to grief. I'd long since packed that into a tidy box and stored it in the recesses of my mind, never to be opened again. Even still, every time one of them brought it up, it ripped off the emotional packing tape and exposed the loss again
Family Ties Chapter 43: Jude
The best I could hope for, until Portia came home for the summer, was to stay numb. I'd successfully managed to plan our phone calls around going to Carson's house, but she knew something was wrong. I tried to convince her it was just me missing her, although I was fairly certain Hensley told her about the book and my subsequent meltdown. Then, all manner of hell had broken loose last night when I'd given Hensley and Ernie my report card.It was a good thing I hadn't planned to attend Columbia or Carnegie. After my fourth quarter grades, the offers probably would have been rescinded. I didn't give a shit. If I hadn't had straight As going into exams, it would have been far worse. As it was, I ended up with Bs, Cs, and an F for the quarter, which didn't affect my overall GPA enough for the University of Maine to care. It did, however, send the Shaws into a tailspin. Hensley threw out the word suicidal-laughing at her probably wasn't the best response. My "indifference concerned them,"
Family Ties Chapter 44: Portia
I'd lain in bed with the lights off for hours last night, waiting for him to come home. There hadn't been any point in trying to close my swollen eyes, sleep wouldn't have taken over, anyhow. Not until I knew he was safe. While I stared at the ceiling, my eyes drifted out the window. It never ceased to amaze me that no matter how much turmoil took place on Earth, the moon and the stars didn't lose their luster. They shone just as bright, and they hung safely in the sky where they'd been for ages, unaffected by any raging storm below. If I could have found a way to reach one of them, I would have. It was funny in a non-comical sort of way, ironic, maybe-until I heard Jude close the front door and pad up the steps. I worried I'd been too quick to pass judgment. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I'd left him, knowing full well he was too high to drive, and something had happened. Yet, the sounds of his shoes taking the steps two or three at a time suddenly catapulted me
Family Ties Chapter 45: Portia
Sometimes I wondered if it were possible for me to keep my mouth shut. "Why not?" I posed the question softly, more out of curiosity than accusation. "Truthfully? I don't know. Best guess is...I didn't want them to. I wanted to be angry. I felt justified in it. That one feeling hadn't failed me when my mom was sick or when she died. Every other one had." He lifted his shoulders slightly and then allowed them to fall. "Then spring break happened."I smiled. I couldn't have stopped the toothy grin even if I'd wanted to, which I didn't. I'd never regret anything about that week. He huffed through his nose, and his eyes lost focus. It was clear he was reminiscing and maybe even wishing he could go back to that place in time. "It was as though God answered a prayer and gave me a blessing all at once. Other than my mom, you are the only thing in the world that makes me truly happy...core deep."That was a heavy burden to carry, and one I wasn't equipped to hold. "Jude...""When y
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