I come out of class when I’m done with one class. I want to breath and be away from that guy. I still can’t understand why he is staring me all time. It’s strange.
“I told you that I know you”, the voice comes behind me. I look around and see Masson is standing behind me. I become an angry.
“There is a difference in knowing and seeing, you just have seen me, you know nothing about me”, I say in an anger.
“We could know each other, if you want”, he say while smiling. I feel like if I stay for one more minute, I will kill him or myself. I run from there. I run as much as I can. I run to parking area, start my car and started driving. I drive really fast. I leave all my classes. Because if I stay there I will be more irritated. I enter home and walk to kitchen, drink water as my throat is too dry. I then go to my bedroom and lay down on bed. I sleep whole day.
Wednesday, January 19,2022
1:51 a.m.
I wake up. I still feel restless. I see my phone. There are ten calls from Angel. I put my phone down on table. I don’t call her back. I’m not in the condition to talk anybody today. In fact I’m always not in the condition to talk anybody. But today I’m in worst condition. I want to be alone. I walk down to stairs and look something to eat. I walk to kitchen but then think that I should eat some thing else from outside and spend time with myself. So I walk out of home to buy some snacks to eat. I walk slowly and stop at a restaurant, I usually come to this restaurant when I feel distress. I sit on chair and looking into menu to order something. Today I’m in the mood to eat some spicy food let me correct it. I’m always in the mood to eat spicy food. I love spicy food. So I order chili con carne, which is famous food of Texas. And I love this as it’s so spicy. I leave restaurant when I’m done with eating. Now I feel better. I enjoy my own company.
“I don’t need anyone”, I say it loud as there is no one near me to listen. I’m happy now. There is no one to disturb me and to steal my privacy. I’m happy with my own company. I only need myself. I take a deep breath, smile and look up to sky. Now I want some sweet to eat. I always eat sweet after some spice. So I go to ice cream parlor and buy a vanilla flavor. I love vanilla flavor in ice cream. I buy that and walk along with road while eating it.
“Hey you beautiful lady.”
I freeze as the voice comes. I turn around and see some guys staring at me and laughing. I become afraid.
“You want to come with us?”, one of them says. I can’t understand what to do. They all are moving closer to me. I started running but I can’t run fast. I have forgotten my way. I don’t know where I’m going I just keep running.
“Oh my God what should I do now?”
“Please God save me please.”
I keep running and running and I can hear the voice of running shoes behind me. I don’t know how far I can run. I can’t breath. I feel suffocated and dehydrated. I’m about to faint. I see a guy running on my side. Wait, what he is Masson.
“Oh come on Emma , please don’t do this now.”
I say to myself while running in a low voice.
“What?”, I hear this and look by my side.
He
Is
Here.
It’s not my imagination.
“Run fast”, he grab my hand and change the direction of our running. I say nothing and started running fast as I can. Now I can’t hear the running shoes behind. I turn around and see no one is there. I stop, take a deep breath and he also breaths deeply. I hug him. I really hug him. I can’t believe is this me? I feel a strange feelings that I have never felt before. My heartbeat increases and I don’t know what it is but I feel comfort and peace that I never felt. I never hugged any guy before. I’m about to sleep in his arms as I feel peace. He has really good fragrance. I could be in his arms all night. I’m breathing heavily. I don’t want him to move from here. All my fear gone away. I really want to hug him more tightly. It seems like the time has been frozen since I hug him and I don’t want this time to go away. I close my eyes and feel the peace I’m having now this time while hugging him. It’s the best moment of my life. He doesn’t hug me. He grimaces, and it’s quite obvious that he is having a really hard time not hugging me. I move back. I don’t want but I have to so I do so. I want him to hug me back but he doesn’t.
“Thank you”, I say and I feel embarrassment. I don’t ask him that how he came to know that I’m in trouble. Maybe he was stalking me out or maybe it’s just a coincidence.
“Where were you going?” , he asks without replying to my thank you.
“None of your business”, I say in an anger. I don’t know why I’m a short tempered person. He is looking at me for a while. He turns away from me without saying anything.
I stand on the sidewalk and watch him as he disappears without looking back.
Wednesday, January 19, 2022 2:40 a.m. I’m still standing near my home where he left me and looking at a side where he left. I regret on my rudeness for the first time. I never felt regret on my rudeness before. I enter in my home still thinking about him. How stupid I am. How could I do that. He has saved me and I insulted him. How could I do that to a handsome good looking guy, who cares me and save me. I’m so silly girl. I don’t know how to behave with people or with handsome guy. I’m so arrogant. I enter in my room and lay down on bed. I don’t know how will I face him tomorrow in school. I think I should take a leave from school tomorrow. But no, I already have missed yesterday’s classes. I can’t take a leave. I’m so punctual type girl and I also want to see him tomorrow. I think I should apologize him for my behavior. I don’t know why I’m too attracted towards him. He is too handsome guy I ever have seen in my life and he gives me seductive feelings. I never felt se
Angel comes there and meet me. I’m too happy today. I don’t know this is right or not but this feelings. I like these feelings, instead I love these feelings. These feelings let me fly. I want to feel these feelings. I don’t want to let them go. I never have these kind of feelings in my whole life. “Why are you blushing Emma?” She asks in curiosity. I look at her and say nothing for a while. She is still looking at me, waiting for my response. So I shake my hand and say nothing. I don’t want to share these feelings with Angel or anyone else. I usually don’t share any thing, any feeling to anyone. And I think it’s my good habit. We move toward class to get our class. I see Masson sitting on his seat. As I enter in class, he look at me and there is something different in his eyes which I never have seen in his eyes. His eyes are clean and he is also feeling the same feelings which I feel. I think. I go back to my seat and sit. He turn around and staring at me. He stares at me whole
Wednesday, January 19,2022 5:16 p.m.I’m still unable to understand that what is going on with me. I’m changing myself slowly and slowly. I think about him all the days and nights. I can’t figure out the feelings when I’m with him. Today I’m happy in fact I’m more happy then ever before in my life. But I’m still in confusion that is it love or it’s hormone changes. As I’m going to 18 years old in few days. Anyways I don’t know what’s this but it’s the best feelings in the world. I’m lying on my bed and still thinking about him and shying. I’m excited to talk to him. I’m staring at my phone and waiting for his call or text. I want him to be with me right now. I’m imagining him on my bed lying with me. From now onwards Wednesday is my favorite day and 19 January is my favorite date.“Oh my God”, I exhale a deep breath. What the hell am I doing? Is this me? I’m tired of thinking about him. I can’t stop thinking about him. He is fucking handsome guy. I can’t help. I wonder i
“Lets go”, he is asking me to go, but I don’t know where he will take me. I think for a while. “Come out, we are going to restaurant in my car.” He is still waiting for my response. I climb out of car. He is stepping toward his car and I’m following him. I want to thank him for coming. I thought that he is not coming and I was very angry on him but now I’m in love with him more then before. He opens the front door of car and allow me to climb in and then turn toward the driving seat and sit inside. It’s my first time to go on date. I don’t know how to behave or what to say. I’m sitting in a silence. There is a complete silence between us for a while. “You okay?” He turn toward me for three seconds and then focus on driving. I tell him that I’m okay. I text Angel to take my car to her home. “So tell me something about yourself”, he says while looking forward. “You said earlier that you know me.” I reply. He laughs aloud and look at me. His laugh is incredible. I want to hear this
We leave the restaurant as soon as we finish the coffee. Now we are sitting in car.“Where do you want to go?”He asks. I want to say him to take me there where he wants me to go. Take me with you Masson. I want to be with you all days all nights and want to spend all moments with you. But I don’t say it to him.“Drop me home.”I say. He look at me like he is disappointed with my answer. I’m also disappointed with my answer. But I want to go home because if I spend more time with him, I can’t control myself to fall for him. I really want to give him a hug and tell him that his words make me beautiful, worthy and his words impact positively on me. I want to tell him that he is too beautiful and the words fall from his mouth are the most sweetest words I ever have heard. I want to tell him about all my feelings that I feel for him. But part of me don’t want to tell him that’s why I’m asking him to drop me home.He is still staring me.“What?”I ask him. He is staring me like he is about
Saturday, January 22, 2022 10:37 p.m.I’m sitting with my dad and mom, having dinner. We are having conversation as it’s Saturday and we all sit together and discuss our life with each other and it’s my dad’s idea. I really don’t like this idea. I hate this but I have to sit here.“So how’s your life going?”“Good dad.”“Good, anything new which you want to share?”I look up to my dad and think for a while. I don’t know, should I tell him or not but I think it’s not the right time as I myself can’t decide if I’m in love or not. The previous two days at school went good. We come closer to each other and we somehow know each other like I know his friends and we spend a lot of time with each other and even we sit together in class. Angel somehow feel jealous but then she allowed as she loves me. And now I’m close to Angel as well.Yeah I know it’s unbelievable.But.It is what it is.Now my life is change as previously I was rude and introvert but now I somehow have confidence
Sunday, January 23, 2022 2:29 p.m.I wake up, look at clock. I jump out of bed.“Oh God.”“Dad must be waiting for me.”How could I forget that dad always celebrates my birthday at restaurant. And dad told me that today we are going to have lunch at restaurant. I quickly get myself ready and go downstairs. I see my dad is waiting in launch. I step into launch and my dad hug me and kiss me on forehead.“Oh darling me and your mom are waiting for you.”Oh God she is also coming. Why she is coming?“Dad please stop calling her my mom.”“She isn’t my mom.”“She can’t be my mom.”“Ever.”I mumble. I look at her.“Happy birthday dear.”“Thanks Olivia”She pass a fake smile. I look at my dad and now he is looking at me disappointed. I know he doesn’t like that. He wants me to accept her as my mom. I know that he is disappointed with me because I don’t call her as mom. And I will never call her mom.“Ready to go?”My dad asks and I nod. We all getting out of home, enter in garage. My da
Sunday, January 23,2022 3:40 p.m.I’m sitting on chair in my bedroom and thinking about my behavior with dad. I’m upset. I think I shouldn’t talk to my father like that. I have made a mistake. He must be angry with me and the most thing which is disturbing me is that he must be disappointed because I hurt him. I’m too bad. I should be satisfied and happy with my dad’s happiness but I’m too selfish. I hate myself but I hate Olivia more than anything. I just can’t see her in my house, with my dad. She is too irritating.“Hey.”I hear the voice behind me. The sound is very low. I don’t move.“Happy birthday, Emma.”This time the voice is high. I turn around and see Masson.Wait.What?What is he doing here? My heartbeat increases when I see him in my room. I become nervous. I look at window. He climbs in from window. Oh God. I have seen this in movies. And it’s my most favorite part of romance in movies. I can’t believe that it’s happening in my real life and my most favorite