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35. About Dream
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Flawless Love 36. Something Starts
From a young age, all Bella could do was study, and be a model student for the sake of her promise to Mother. Because she promises to Mom, Bella can be who she is now. But to be honest she never hated studying.Bella likes studying, as a filler for free time who is alone all day at home. But she couldn't find what wanted to do in the future by studying. Can she be like Dr. Diane, Alec, and Jennie? Bella also wants to find her way, a way of life to fight for. She wanted to know where it was taking her."Okay, that's enough talking about me. Do you still think you don't need this therapy session, Bella?" Doctor Diane started the session.Bella didn't answer. She didn't know what to say. She is currently thinking that she doesn't need a meeting session."If you still refuse, it's useless for us to do it." Doctor Diane snapped."Even if I do it, I think it's useless." Bella judged herself."Why do you think so?"The silence between them. Bella decided th
Flawless Love 37. Circumstances
That night Bella again experienced a crisis accompanied by body heat that rose again. The medics immediately took action by giving a sedative injection. The symptoms were resolved before Bella lost consciousness. She remained awake until Mom came with Jennie.Bella didn't know what was happening to her, why her body was showing a reaction she didn't understand, what had brought her to the hospital again. Bella asks Mom but her mother looks like wants to cover up.“What did you talk about with Dr. Diane this afternoon? Why are you guys talking outside, can't I hear it?" Bella felt anxious for no reason."The one who knows my condition better is myself, I have the right to know too." Bella wanted Mom to be honest even once."Before that Bella, why are you hiding anything else from me. How long are you going to be like this?”Mom showed the medicine that was supposed to be safe in Bella's room in hiding."I beg you.. Bella.. I want everything to pass soon."
Flawless Love 38. Loses Control
Jennie was already there when Bella returned to the room. It was time for her to take medicine. Due to the crisis reaction of Bella's illness, she has to take several types of medication regularly. Bella felt completely sick. Her weight was getting thinner and her face was pale. The signs of life were fading on Bella's face which she watched through the mirror. She felt like a patient with a serious illness. Being in the hospital only made Bella's thoughts even more pessimistic.Going crazy and losing consciousness is the same as dying. Or did someone say that it is better to lose consciousness to be insane than to die. All Bella did while here was just stare at the outside world through the window from her patient bed. Even if Bella's world stops right now, the outside world will continue as usual. No, she said that not because wanted to die like she did last time."Sister," Jenny called. Silence. Bella remained silent."BIG SISTER!""I can hear your voice, Jen
Flawless Love 39. Be Honest
In the past, there was only one call from Father to Bella, as parents and daughter didn't talk much because there really wasn't anything to talk about. Bella herself didn't really blame Dad, because Bella didn't expect anything from him. She already knew it would be like this.But seeing Jennie who cares so much and fights for Bella's rights. The right as a child who needs attention and is entitled to affection from his biological father. Made Bella think, why did Jennie fight for Bella's rights like that, while Bella didn't make any efforts.Bella was always lying to herself, constantly avoiding this feeling. To be honest, the thoughts never left about her father. Bella wanted Dad to see her, come to her, and ask how she was. It turned out to be true, if there was no desire to meet even if the child and father were, then they could not meet. If Bella wants to meet Dad then can they meet, without the same desire from Dad to meet her?Bella wanted to know why Dad did
Flawless Love 40. Ask Help
From Aunt's statement yesterday, Bella showed signs of refusal to eat. Her condition has indeed decreased since had a therapy session with Dr. Hardy. Jennie didn't know what the two of them were talking about, but since returning from that session Bella seemed to have a lot on her mind. Her face was darker than before she went to see Dr. Hardy.“Sis, I'm coming... Today you can eat as usual, right? If not I'll find other food or something easy for you to digest." Jennie was fussy when she entered Bella's room.“Why are you back from school already? Today should be the schedule for club activities at school.” Bella is learning to be independent on her patient bed."I left because I feel unwell.""If that's your reason, you should be resting at home instead of coming here.""It's better here, if something happens I can be treated quickly.""Exactly! It's a hospital here, so nothing will happen to me. You shouldn't be skipping club training like this."
Flawless Love 41. Go Through
Bella hadn't figured out how to talk to Dad yet. But this morning when Aunt hadn't come yet, Mom worked and Jennie went to school, Dad was standing in front of Bella's room. Bella was very surprised, how could Father come. Just last night Bella and Jennie talked about Dad. Could it be that Jennie who asked Dad? But Jennie couldn't do that because Bella had forbidden Jennie not to intervene."How came? Father here now. Or Mother who wanted..." Bella couldn't think straight.It's past 8 o'clock Auntie hasn't come yet, it's not usually late. Bella was getting annoyed waiting. She hoped Auntie would come as soon as possible.“What am I thinking?! Maybe I don't want to be alone with Father." Bella wondered to herself, doubting it.Again Bella tried to run away. But this atmosphere really made her uncomfortable. Father sat in the chair right beside Bella's bed, still not making a sound.10 minutes passed, still the same silence. Neither Bella nor Dad, no one spoke
Flawless Love 42. Bottom Of Heart
"What would Bella want to say if this was your last day alive?"“I want to be a good child beyond expectations. I make sure to always study hard, be kind, and independent, to take care of Jennie. Anything that can make Mom be pleased, I'll do. But all this time I felt so lonely, I felt I had no place to share.”“I hate empty houses, without anyone present to greet me when I return. On that lonely day, I began to hope for a normal life, wanting to be an ordinary child like others. Not an extraordinary child for Mom to be proud of and Dad to turn look to me. But since I promised Mother, I can't do that. I'm stuck with my promise to Mom."“I'm sorry for not being able to live up to Mother's expectations. I'm sorry that I disappointed you and made you feel hurt by all the things I've done. I'm sorry I didn't take good care of Jennie. I'm sorry for being born like this if that's the reason why Mom and Dad separated because of my existence. I'm sorry, Mom..."“On that
Flawless Love 43. Rescue Rope
Jennie came closer to occupy where Mom was sitting earlier. Jennie also wanted to say something to Bella, which she probably should have said a long time ago."I'm sorry Sis...""What for?" Bella couldn't remember Jennie doing something that deserved to be forgiven.“To make you always burdened with a sense of responsibility towards me.”"No Jenny, it's not like that..""I know.. But let me say it." Jennie looks very serious right now."For me, no one is important, all the same. Father, Mother, you are equally important to me. I can't choose which one of you is most important and which is not. If there is someone who makes me choose then that person is the bad one.”What was the meaning of what Jennie was trying to convey to Bella. For a moment Bella felt that she was being gently offended by Jennie's words. Because for Bella the most important thing in her life is Mother.“But if you have someone very important, no one has the right to forbid yo
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