- Joelle -
It was a warm afternoon in May, and the sun bathed the campus in its golden light. The fragrance of geraniums planted all around filled the air, pleasing my senses. As I sat on a wooden bench with Jason, the only sounds that reached my ears were the melodious chirping of birds and the occasional footsteps of passing students. Jason leaned against the backrest while I lay with my head in his lap, facing the radiant sun, and my legs were comfortably bent, resting on the bench. His hands gently ran through my hair, creating a soothing sensation. Despite the impending exams, I had never felt so relaxed. Yet, there was a nagging thought in the back of my mind—when did we become so close?
To any casual observer, we appeared like any other young couple on campus, the quintessential college sweethearts filled with dreams and aspirations. But the truth was that there was nothing romantic between us. We had shared a few classes during our time at Junior College, but we never really spoke or interacted. However, fate had a different plan for us. On the first day of Medical school, Jason happened to sit next to me and realized he had forgotten his pen. In a moment of disorganization, he asked if I could lend him one. I handed him a magenta pen, which, to my surprise, he never returned. From that day forward, we became inseparable. We sat together in class, shared notes, and collaborated on group assignments. Jason was there to comfort me when I felt overwhelmed, like the time I vomited at the sight of my first abdominal surgery. And I reciprocated when he was confined to his home for two weeks with chickenpox. We talked every day—shared gossip, discussed schoolwork. He, on the otherhand entertained me with stories of his attempts to teach his cat tricks, despite my concerns for the poor feline.
During those two weeks, I realized how much Jason had come to mean to me and how deeply I missed his presence when he wasn't around. The classroom felt empty without him, and I felt adrift. Prior to starting medical school, I had never struggled to enjoy my own company. In fact, I often spent my time alone in the library or taking solitary walks around campus. But this time was different. It was as if I had become dependent on his companionship. I missed our morning coffee at the university canteen, his witty and sometimes irritating remarks about anything and everything, and seeing him jotting down notes with my magenta pen.
When he returned after those two weeks, the first thing he did was embrace me tightly. His strength and broad physique made me feel fragile and small, but surprisingly comfortable in his arms. He ruffled my hair, affectionately resembling an older brother's gesture towards a younger sibling, and told me he had missed me. I wasn't sure how to interpret it at the time, so I didn't dwell on it too much. I was just grateful to have him back and hoped he wouldn't be absent again anytime soon.
From that point on, my feelings for him underwent a subtle shift. To be honest, I couldn't exactly pinpoint or define my emotions. I loved him, but I wasn't romantically in love with him, if that makes any sense. I worried about him whenever he did something reckless, missed him when he wasn't around, but I never daydreamed about being in a relationship with him, sharing intimate moments, or even kissing him. We were starkly different individuals. Jason was the loudest, most outgoing person on campus—the life of every party, known by everyone. On the other hand, I had never attended a campus party until he dragged me to one.
In all honesty, I felt completely out of place, and it was only with the help of a Gin and Tonic that the night became bearable.Fast forward to the present moment, with my head nestled in his lap, enjoying his gentle touch on my hair.
"What's on your mind, Bugs?" he asked playfully, interrupting my train of thought.Bugs was the nickname he had bestowed upon me during our first year of Med school, four years ago. It originated when I stopped to rescue a snail crossing our path, relocating it to a nearby field. When he inquired about my action, I explained that I was saving its life, preventing it from being stepped on and crushed. He jokingly remarked that I had probably led it to certain death since the field was home to a colony of hedgehogs who considered snails a delicacy. Eye-rolling, I hoped he was just making it up. For the next week, he called me "Bug savior slash killer," but eventually settled on Bugs as a shorter and catchier nickname. It stuck, and whenever we were alone, he referred to me as Bugs. Strangely, he never used it in the presence of others."Nothing much, just lost in thought," I replied, not wanting to share the details of my musings. I confided almost everything in him, but my thoughts and feelings regarding him were off-limits for discussion."About what?" he probed, refusing to let the subject drop."Finals," I lied, aware of his disbelief. I shrugged, and he decided not to push further. Trying to redirect the conversation and distract myself, I asked, "And what about you? You seem quiet as well." He glanced at me, then bluntly stated, "I'm thinking about how beautiful you are and searching for the right words to ask you to spend the rest of your life with me." His words startled me, causing me to sit up abruptly, as if doused in cold water. But then he burst into laughter. "Relax, Bugs! I'm just messing with you. The expression on your face was priceless. I wish I had recorded it," he said, smirking mischievously. Pranking and teasing people were his favorite pastimes, and he particularly enjoyed targeting me. However, more often than not, he failed to surprise me. I had spent so much time with him, learning his ways, that I usually anticipated his pranks. Not today, though. Lost in my thoughts, I had become too distracted to see this one coming. In response, I mustered all my strength and playfully punched his upper arm. "Ouch! That hurt," he exclaimed, rubbing the spot where I had struck him. Then, he proceeded to tickle me relentlessly, causing me to collapse on the floor, consumed by uncontrollable laughter.- Joelle -Hey lovebirds! Sorry for interrupting. Wanna grab a bite with us?” said a voice from behind Jason. I leaned to the side to see who it was. It was Kevin and Matthew. They had known Jason ever since they were kids. They were following a degree in Engineering at the same University we attended and we often hung out with them when all four of us were free. According to Matthew, Jason and I were in some sort of secret relationship. That was his definition when I was around. Apparently the term wasn’t censored when I wasn’t around. I used to blush every time he said it but the more I denied it the more he said it. In the end Jason told me there were two ways of dealing with Matthew, either play along with him or ignore him completely. I chose the latter. Sure enough he stopped. By now though, I had gotten used to him and became immune to his comments. I managed to keep my cool around him and usually reacted by rolling my eyes or sticking my tongue out to him. Jason always laughe
-Jason- I had never seen that look in her eyes and a dagger pierced my heart. She was hurt, I could tell as much. Had I hurt her? How? Why? Had she developed feeling for me too? My heart rejoiced at the thought for a second but I quickly removed the idea from my mind. As much as I wanted it to be true her reaction earlier that day proved she didn’t want me anywhere other than in the friend zone. She freaked out when I jokingly said I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. From time to time I dropped hints about how much she meant to me and she always said the feelings were mutual and that I was the brother she never had. Except that wasn’t what I felt for her. I didn’t look at her as a sister, I wanted more. I wanted to call her mine. I wanted her to call me hers. God knows it took every ounce of strength of my being to stop myself from punching someone every time we were out and some guy checked her out. It took even more to stop myself from kissing her every time we somehow
- Jason -In the following weeks, our schedules became increasingly hectic as we prepared for our final exams. Joelle and I spent more and more time together either at my place or at hers. I lived alone. I had arrived in Malta with my parents and older sister when I was three years old and grew up here. I started school here having no clue about the languages spoken. We spoke Italian at home, the languages spoken here were English and Maltese. Kevin and Matthew were two of the first friends I made. It didn’t matter to them that I didn’t speak their language. We somehow found a way to communicate and before long we were inseparable. Along the years many people came into my life and left. Matthew and Kevin remained steadfast. There were maybe five or six people in the world I would have trusted with my life and my secrets. Matthew and Kevin were two of those people. Over the years, we had stuck together through thick and thin and knew they would have my back just like I would have their
-Joelle -My much awaited holiday finally arrived. This year Minna and I were meeting in Norway. It was a country I had never been to and I was looking forward to the longer days, the midnight sun and the milder climate. With Norway being so close to Finland, Minna had visited it multiple times. She knew exactly where to go, what to avoid and what to visit. We normally planned our itinerary together. This time round however Minna offered to plan the trip herself. I was glad. I had been too busy with exams and all that had been going on around me to think about the trip. Having someone plan the trip for me was a luxury I greatly appreciated.When I arrived at the airport, I spotted Minna waiting for me. She had arrived earlier that morning and had already picked up our rental car. In the Arrivals lounge, she held up a placard with my name on it, grinning from ear to ear. I rushed over to her, dropped my bag, and enveloped her in a tight embrace. We held each other for a moment, basking
- Jason -There have been very few instances in my life where I can recall being left speechless. Tonight was one of them. Standing in front of Joelle's house, I was taken aback as she emerged, looking like a star from a Hollywood red carpet event. "Where is my Bugs, and what have you done to her?" I thought to myself. Her hair was elegantly styled in a simple bun, and her makeup highlighted her beautiful eyes. Wearing a stunning royal blue halterneck dress, every slight curve of her body tempted me to reach out and touch her. She smiled at me shyly, our eyes met and my world stopped. With every step she took towards me, my heart raced faster. It was going to be a long night, I anticipated. "Well?" she said, awaiting my response. "Well, what?" I replied, caught off guard. "I'm waiting for you to offer me your arm," she teased. "Oh, right, my arm," I mumbled, quickly extending my arm and tucking hers underneath. Her smile widened as I escorted her to our waiting cab. Although the bal
- Joelle -Monday morning finally arrived, and Jason, Kevin, and Matthew accompanied me to the airport to bid me farewell. I had only informed Kevin and Matthew the day before, and Kevin was still somewhat upset with me. However, I knew his anger wouldn't last forever, and just before I checked in, he hugged me tightly. He expressed his belief that I was making a mistake but assured me that he would always be there for me. I smiled and told him I hoped he was wrong about the mistake, but I appreciated his support in helping me pick up the pieces. Matthew embraced me tightly, urging me to take care of myself and expressing his excitement about visiting me. He jokingly mentioned hoping that I would make lots of Norwegian girlfriends so he could meet a few when he came over. It was clear that things hadn't worked out as planned with Kayleigh. I suppressed a smile and promised to do my best. Matthew then mentioned needing a coffee and whisked Kevin away with him, leaving Jason and me faci
- Joelle -Six months into my contract and I’d had visitors almost every week. I was seeing more of my dad than I did when I still lived at home. In fact, he visited almost every month. Minna would visit for a weekend approximately every two months, while Kevin and Matthew came over for a week three months after I moved and were scheduled to visit again in a week or so. The only person who hadn’t visited yet was Jason. We spoke daily initially, eventually our chats become weekly and at times even less frequently than that. I was spared the torture of seeing him everyday but that didn’t mean I didn’t think of him everyday and miss him. Work was intriguing and I was doing well. I also managed to make a few friends. I loved the view from the hospital staff accommodation, especially during summer, when there was greenery all around me. Whenever I felt gloomy, I used to take a walk in the near by forest and my mood would lift itself up. It was impossible for it not to. The sounds of the
- Jason -I’d been tossing and turning all night. I’d been dating Amy for almost three months and things weren’t bad between us. She was tall and slim with dark hair much like Joelle’s. The first time I saw her from behind I’d thought it was her in fact. That’s how we had met in the first place. I’d approached her thinking it was her in spite of knowing Joelle was some 3500KM away. Then I’d apologized when I realized it wasn’t her and moved on. I saw her again the following Saturday and we got talking again. Her friend started dating Matthew and I started seeing more and more of her until eventually we too started dating. We met mostly on Saturdays with the occasional meet up during the week. While I was attracted to her and enjoyed spending time with her, I didn’t see this relationship going anywhere, nor did I envision a future with her. Then last night she mentioned something along the lines of thinking we should meet up more often and hinted commitment. She freaked me out. It was