THREE

Ortega’s POV CONTINUED:

It takes me hours before I finally manage to stop crying. I didn’t know one person could feel so much before today. My parents wanted to have a big birthday dinner with my sister and me to celebrate my coming of age, but I wasn't up for it.

I wasn't sure I could control myself right now, not with my emotions running at an all-time high thanks to my impending shift tonight. I just might rip her damn slutty head off, so I sent them a quick text letting them know I wouldn’t be able to make it. They were disappointed, of course, and tried to talk me into coming, but they would get over it.

I forced myself into the shower and turned on the water as hot as I could stand it. I relished the feeling of the warm water as it trickled down over my body. I could feel my tense, tired, and sore muscles relaxing as it seeped its way deep into my pores.

I may not be able to stand the thought of my traitorous mate right now, but I still had a lot to look forward to. I still had my wolf, and she would never betray me the way that he had. She would never leave me; I would have the most special bond with her that would truly last me the rest of my life. A bond that I could truly treasure forever. I couldn't wait to meet her; I just hope she isn't too disappointed with me. If she were here with me, she would beg me to forgive Killian for what he did. She would be hurt like I was, but for her, it wouldn't be a deal-breaker.

I might have even understood him entertaining other women before I came of age, but with my sister? And he didn't even care that I have seen it. It's been hours, and he hasn't checked on me, not once. It makes me wonder, does he even want my forgiveness?

Mates are meant to be everything to each other; they are each other's other halves, the sun, the moon, and the stars, the very thing that you live for, your soul mate and more. Sorry, I should say it's that way for normal wolves; it wasn't like that in my case. All of those things were just how the human half of us feels; it was more than that for our wolf halves. For them, their love was kismet; they didn't question it, they didn't reject it, they simply loved each other with everything they had. That was the way it was supposed to be, but Killian went and spat all over that.

My wolf was going to suffer when I fought the mate bond. Her wolf hadn't cheated on her, and yet she was going to pay the price for a mistake Killian and Jenna had made. It was unfair, to say the least. I sent a silent prayer to the moon goddess, hoping my wolf would understand why I had to stay away from him. For now, at least. Maybe one day it could be different.

All I knew now was that if I accepted his cheating, he wouldn't change, and I wasn't about to spend my life questioning why I wasn't good enough for him or writhing in excruciating pain every time he decided to step out on me. I deserved better than that. My wolf deserved better than that. I was doing this for her too.

I lost track of time basking in the gentle warmth the shower provided me. I didn't particularly want to get out, but I knew I needed rest before tonight. I was exhausted already from the emotional distress I was enduring and knew I would need all the energy I could muster for my first shift tonight.

It's said that the pain you experience during that first shift is almost enough to kill you. It was supposedly a little easier with the help of your mate, but I couldn't rely on that. Killian couldn’t have made how he felt about me any clearer than he already had. I would be doing this alone. It’s not like I would be the first or even the last wolf to shift by themselves the first time.

If I asked my parents to come with me, they would, I knew that, but it’s something I wanted to do by myself. I had dreamed for years about shifting with my mate, and even if I couldn’t have that, I still didn’t want to share it with anybody else.

I quickly patted myself dry, slipped on my underwear, and padded my way over to my large bed. It didn't take me more than a few moments to fall asleep. I really was exhausted.

*BEEP BEEP BEEP.*

My alarm sounds, and it takes me a few minutes to stir, but when I do, I look at the big bright red letters. 11:30 pm, half an hour until my first shift.

I’m only wearing a matching red panties set (reds are my favorite color). I slip a robe on over the top, not bothering to get dressed. I would only rip anything I put on when I shifted; there's no point in wasting a perfectly good outfit, and it wasn’t like anyone was going to see anything anyway.

I creep as quickly and as quietly as I can down the stairs. The reserve was in the center of a truly beautiful forest. Past the forest was a vast mountain area and a river that ran down the middle. If I hurried, I might be able to make it to the riverbed before I shifted.

As soon as I reach the tree line, I begin to sprint as fast as I can. My feet are tearing bit by bit as I push myself as hard as I possibly can, the sharp sticks and rocks cutting and scraping at the tender flesh. I really should have worn shoes, but if I turn back now, I would never make it to the river before midnight.

I don’t know why it was so important for me to shift at the edge of the water, but I had always been drawn to it. The way it glimmered under the moonlight, with mountains on one side and surrounded by trees on the other, I couldn’t think of a spot more magical, and I wanted magical. It was my favorite in the winter when the snow covered the mountain peaks; I had never seen anything more breathtaking than that. I loved everything about nature.

I pause for only a moment to catch my breath and check my phone at 11:55. I only have five minutes before I shift, and I’m about four minutes from the edge of the forest at my fastest.

My feet are tremendously sore at this point, and it’s hard to imagine that they will ever heal, but they will. Wolves naturally had faster healing, and I was only a few minutes from getting mine. I push myself harder and harder.

I crumple to the rocky shore as I burst through the edge of the trees. It can only mean one thing: it’s midnight, and I’m about to shift.

My body starts to convulse, and I can hear my bones start to snap. I swear I’m not going to survive; I know that it’s me screaming because I’m the only one here, and yet it doesn't sound anything like me. I can hear things pop, tear, and snap.

Through my burning tears, I can see claws start to protrude from my nail beds. My back arches violently, and my limbs fail to support my weight any longer. I drop and roll onto my back so I'm staring up at the night sky, panting hard. I feel like giving up; the pain is just too much, and then suddenly it's gone.

I can feel my consciousness slipping away fast, but I’m desperate to see my wolf before I black out. I use my front paws to drag my weary body to the reflective surface of the river.

“Hello, Ortega,” a beautiful sing-song voice floats around my head as clear as my own. I know it’s her, my wolf, and even though I was expecting it, I still feel a little startled to hear someone else's voice in my head like that. It was going to take some getting used to. I just want to see her.

I'm almost at the edge of the water, but before I can get a good look, my body collapses once again, the jagged rocks digging into my now naked human side. Colors dance across my vision, and I'm struggling to keep my eyes open. The last thing I see before I pass out is a grey head poking out of the trees. I hope it's friendly.